Mistook mom for grandmom today

[Anonymous]

At my child’s elementary school, there was a mom who looked like she was in her 60s. Her hair was all white and her face looked older. I totally assumed it was the grandmother. This is up there with mistaking a mom who is not pregnant as pregnant, right? She must get mistaken as grandparent often. I don’t think she could be the biological mother because she is too old.

[Anonymous]

My mother's hair started going white when she was 16 and her chronic illness (MS) made her look old beyond her years. Don't assume, OP. I am very careful not to.

[Anonymous]

It happened to me once with an aunt who I thought was the grandmother.
I felt bad but people have also erroneously asked me if I am pregnant.
What can you do. I felt bad about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It happened to me once with an aunt who I thought was the grandmother.
I felt bad but people have also erroneously asked me if I am pregnant.
What can you do. I felt bad about it.

Me again. In this case the mom said: my mom watches her, so that why I thought it was the grandmother but it was randomly the aunt the day I saw.
When I really don’t know I asked if their kid or whatever and let them be flattered that I think they are the parent rather than grandparent. I feel that’s better than the reverse.

[Anonymous]

You’d be surprised the effect that gray hair alone has. A mom who is younger than I am is mistaken for the grandmother because she is allergic to hair dye. And today on the metro i White haired woman came on and a middle aged woman with dark hair immediately gave up her seat. It when I looked at their faces I wondered if the white haired woman was actually younger.

[Anonymous]

I once introduced a woman who had a kid my age to someone who asked, “oh, is this your mother?”

It was one of the most awkward encounters of my life. I felt horrible for that woman, who was at most 5 years older than me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At my child’s elementary school, there was a mom who looked like she was in her 60s. Her hair was all white and her face looked older. I totally assumed it was the grandmother. This is up there with mistaking a mom who is not pregnant as pregnant, right? She must get mistaken as grandparent often. I don’t think she could be the biological mother because she is too old.

You don't come off as being a very nice person with your post, just so you know.

I had a high school friend and a college friend who both went prematurely gray. College friend looked like he was 40 when we were 20 years old. High school friend is currently 43 and has been 100% gray since she was 30. People probably think she's a grandma too. Some people go gray earlier than others. Not everyone wants to look like a teenager in their 30s and 40s. Grow up, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My mother's hair started going white when she was 16 and her chronic illness (MS) made her look old beyond her years. Don't assume, OP. I am very careful not to.

Op here. I’m in my 40s. I’m not exactly a young mom either. I have friends in their 40s and 50s. Some of my kids have friends with siblings in college. Many have gray hair. This woman was much older. I actually looked at her face after my error. She looks older than any parent I have encountered. I understand that she could have adopted or used doner eggs.

[Anonymous]

This happened to me at my kid's school on grandparents' day. A teacher's assistant saw a kid giving me a hug (a friend of my kid--same class) and asked if I was the grandmother. His mom is maybe 5 years younger than me and I color my hair. I still haven't gotten over it--it was two years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I once introduced a woman who had a kid my age to someone who asked, “oh, is this your mother?”

It was one of the most awkward encounters of my life. I felt horrible for that woman, who was at most 5 years older than me.

How’d she have a kid your age if she was only 5 years older than you?

[Anonymous]

OP I have done it also. Some mothers are just really old in DC! One of my son's friends had her twins at 48! So our kids are the same age but I am 48 and she is 65. Her husband just had his 70th birthday party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My mother's hair started going white when she was 16 and her chronic illness (MS) made her look old beyond her years. Don't assume, OP. I am very careful not to.

Op here. I’m in my 40s. I’m not exactly a young mom either. I have friends in their 40s and 50s. Some of my kids have friends with siblings in college. Many have gray hair. This woman was much older. I actually looked at her face after my error. She looks older than any parent I have encountered. I understand that she could have adopted or used doner eggs.

Yes, this was my mother. Someone even mistook her husband (my father) for her son one day! The woman you describe may have a medical condition, adopted her child, etc. What I'm telling you still applies: please never assume.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I once introduced a woman who had a kid my age to someone who asked, “oh, is this your mother?”

It was one of the most awkward encounters of my life. I felt horrible for that woman, who was at most 5 years older than me.

How’d she have a kid your age if she was only 5 years older than you?

Lol, I’m tired from all the late Nats games recently! She had a kid my kid’s age.

[Anonymous]

I don't imagine you offended the person you mistook as the mom. If you had mistaken a mom for a grandmom, now that would be a whole other situation...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
My mother's hair started going white when she was 16 and her chronic illness (MS) made her look old beyond her years. Don't assume, OP. I am very careful not to.

Op here. I’m in my 40s. I’m not exactly a young mom either. I have friends in their 40s and 50s. Some of my kids have friends with siblings in college. Many have gray hair. This woman was much older. I actually looked at her face after my error. She looks older than any parent I have encountered. I understand that she could have adopted or used doner eggs.

Yes, this was my mother. Someone even mistook her husband (my father) for her son one day! The woman you describe may have a medical condition, adopted her child, etc. What I'm telling you still applies: please never assume.

I asked if a woman was pregnant when she wasn’t a decade ago. I never ever assume.

I made this mistake today and will never do it again.