Mistook mom for grandmom today

[Anonymous]

I did that years ago at a wedding. The groom had two moms there (mom, stepmom) and for some reason I thought one of them was wife's mom and her actual mom was her grandmother. (to be fair, we were 25 and mom had full-on white hair and looked much older.) (it was also about a million degrees that day and the champagne went to my head.)

I felt horrible and still feel bad about it, 22 years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I referred to a super old dad as grandpa at girl scouts once. But it was one of those situations where mom was like 30 and dad was well over 60.

That’s pretty much our situation. When people mistake him for grandpa he says “no I’m actually her great grandfather!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did that years ago at a wedding. The groom had two moms there (mom, stepmom) and for some reason I thought one of them was wife's mom and her actual mom was her grandmother. (to be fair, we were 25 and mom had full-on white hair and looked much older.) (it was also about a million degrees that day and the champagne went to my head.)

I felt horrible and still feel bad about it, 22 years later.

oooh that messy !

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was at a grocery store with my dad once and the cashier noticed my wedding rings, which are kind of unique, and told my dad he “did good” and congrats and I basically wanted to die. He laughed it off though.

lmao!

[Anonymous]

My uncle is 70 and has tween daughters (second marriage to a much younger woman). People always think he's their grandfather. He thinks it's funny, but I can see how that wouldn't be the case for everyone, especially not a woman.

[Anonymous]

I mistaken the mom for the nanny ...mom is white and the kid is middle-eastern looking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take a look at the post of the woman wondering if she’s crazy to have another at 42. Women here are having kids when other people’s children are in college. It’s an easy mistake to make in this area tbh.

Agreed

The rest of the country is not waiting until they are 40s to have kids. It's an easy mistake to make when you are in both the grandmother age range and the mom age range. There is overlap.

[Anonymous]

Guy here. I had DS when I was 42. When he was 7, one of his little friends asked if I were his grandpa. And when I said no, I'm his dad, the little shit wouldn't back off - kept insisting I must be the grandpa. Most annoying!

[Anonymous]

I have the weird physical characteristics that I am asked frequently both whether I am pregnant and also whether I am grandma to my kindergartner. I guess it depends on how my hair and or outfit came out that day????

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here’s how I flip the scenario with people I don’t know:

If a person is alone, I always assume mommy/daddy and slip a greeting/affirmation in using those terms, until I am corrected. Even if the person looks old/young. If I see two men or women with a kid, I don’t assume roles and just say “Your little one”.

Older people feel complimented and younger people are quick to correct (“oh no this is my niece/sister/I’m the nanny/ etc“).

I then may counter with “Well the little one is so (well behaved/dressed nicely/great at climbing/has a powerful smile)”.

Works like a charm.

The older person may have adopted, elected to be a caregiver for a child without parents, or other scenario as well.

Kudos to you for caring though! Hugs!

Advice that likely rarely fails and so simple to do.
Next time, OP.

[Anonymous]

I get mistaken for grandma pretty frequently, and have since I had my DS at 33. I started going gray in my 20's, dyed my hair briefly but just couldn't face a lifetime of doing it and stopped. Now at 46 my hair is probably 60% white, and while I am the same size and shape I've always been, and my face hasn't aged more than other people's...people think I am grandma. Instead of getting upset about it I have tried to change my own feelings about getting older. Why do I feel that being mistaken for grandma is an insult or negative? I've found that I am much, much happier about it all when I am exercising and feeling strong. If I can run for miles and lift heavy things I don't give a crud how old people think I am!

[Anonymous]

I always approach an older-looking minder with some gray hair like she is the child's mother.

For example, I might say, "I really like your child's winter jacket. May I ask where you bought it? It is so cute." That way, you have just made her day when she suddenly has a big smile and says: "Oh, I'm grandma! My daughter bought the jacket but I don't know where."

This way, you have just complimented her and made her feel good.

Then again, I'm almost 52 with an upper elementary student, so I am very mindful of avoiding ageist comments that will go over like a lead balloon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At my child’s elementary school, there was a mom who looked like she was in her 60s. Her hair was all white and her face looked older. I totally assumed it was the grandmother. This is up there with mistaking a mom who is not pregnant as pregnant, right? She must get mistaken as grandparent often. I don’t think she could be the biological mother because she is too old.

Just admit you were rude. Who cares that others have committed the same mistake? Instead of blaming the mother you should stop yourself from assuming things. And no, I am not a old mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At my child’s elementary school, there was a mom who looked like she was in her 60s. Her hair was all white and her face looked older. I totally assumed it was the grandmother. This is up there with mistaking a mom who is not pregnant as pregnant, right? She must get mistaken as grandparent often. I don’t think she could be the biological mother because she is too old.

Just admit you were rude. Who cares that others have committed the same mistake? Instead of blaming the mother you should stop yourself from assuming things. And no, I am not a old mother.

Np- nope, but people think you are!

[Anonymous]

One should never assume because it makes an ass out of u and me. Do people not know this saying anymore?