How would you approach this?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been hanging out with a guy who works at my gym. I normally do not intermix my personal life with people I have to see regularly. I really like the guy and we have a good time together. However, when I run into him at the gym he doesn’t always say hi to me. Like he may be chatting with another woman and ignore me. I find it really strange. I mean I’m not his girlfriend or anything, so I have a problem with him talking to whomever in whatever capacity. I just think he should say hi. What do you think about this?

[Anonymous]

I would consider that a huge red flag. 1) it's extremely immature 2) shows really bad manners 3) the more cynical me thinks he doesn't want anyone else to know he is seeing anyone and wants to give an impression of being single

[Anonymous]

Move on and fast.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, he's just not that into you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would consider that a huge red flag. 1) it's extremely immature 2) shows really bad manners 3) the more cynical me thinks he doesn't want anyone else to know he is seeing anyone and wants to give an impression of being single

OP here. He is single. We are not in a relationship. Nor do I want it to appear we are in a relationship. So I wouldn’t like walk up and hug and kiss him or something. I try to go out of my way to be professional because I know it’s his place of work. I’m just expecting a wave as general acknowledgment that we know each other. He is much younger than me so I’m not sure if it’s just immaturity, or he’s just an asshole. There are never any asshole flags when we are together outside of the gym.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would consider that a huge red flag. 1) it's extremely immature 2) shows really bad manners 3) the more cynical me thinks he doesn't want anyone else to know he is seeing anyone and wants to give an impression of being single

OP here. He is single. We are not in a relationship. Nor do I want it to appear we are in a relationship. So I wouldn’t like walk up and hug and kiss him or something. I try to go out of my way to be professional because I know it’s his place of work. I’m just expecting a wave as general acknowledgment that we know each other. He is much younger than me so I’m not sure if it’s just immaturity, or he’s just an asshole. There are never any asshole flags when we are together outside of the gym.

I'm not sure why you care then. Sounds like as long as this casual relationship is fine outside of his work environment, it shouldn't really matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would consider that a huge red flag. 1) it's extremely immature 2) shows really bad manners 3) the more cynical me thinks he doesn't want anyone else to know he is seeing anyone and wants to give an impression of being single

OP here. He is single. We are not in a relationship. Nor do I want it to appear we are in a relationship. So I wouldn’t like walk up and hug and kiss him or something. I try to go out of my way to be professional because I know it’s his place of work. I’m just expecting a wave as general acknowledgment that we know each other. He is much younger than me so I’m not sure if it’s just immaturity, or he’s just an asshole. There are never any asshole flags when we are together outside of the gym.

I'm not sure why you care then. Sounds like as long as this casual relationship is fine outside of his work environment, it shouldn't really matter.

It just feels super rude to me. I mean he were my cousin, neighbor, high school friend or whatever, we’d say hi if we ran into each other. Acknowledging someone is not a sign of romance. It’s just a from of respect.

[Anonymous]

So you hang out with him outside of the gym but at the gym, he sometimes doesn't even acknowledge you? Not too strange, he's just working a lot of different women when he's at the gym and you aren't the top priority. He already has you to hang out with and he's trying to increase his roster.

What's so hard to figure out?

[Anonymous]

you know maybe, just maybe, he's trying to pick up the other woman he's chatting up in the gym. he needs to give her his attention. it may come across as rude to you but to the woman who's the object of his attention, she (and most women) would balk if he was distracted while mid-conversation with her.

you said you want no relationship with him and he knows this/has picked up on this. In his mind, there's no harm no foul as his attention is focused elsewhere.

Of course, if the above assumption is incorrect, feel free to disregard this post.

[Anonymous]

I'd be careful about keeping him as a friend at the level you have been so far. Doesn't really matter why he's not saying hello. You don't want to have to think that much about why someone is not saying hello to you. You want a reliable friend. You don't need to apologize for that.

[Anonymous]

He’s at work and you aren’t exclusive. It sounds like you want to be though. Otherwise you wouldn’t be bothered by this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would consider that a huge red flag. 1) it's extremely immature 2) shows really bad manners 3) the more cynical me thinks he doesn't want anyone else to know he is seeing anyone and wants to give an impression of being single

OP here. He is single. We are not in a relationship. Nor do I want it to appear we are in a relationship. So I wouldn’t like walk up and hug and kiss him or something. I try to go out of my way to be professional because I know it’s his place of work. I’m just expecting a wave as general acknowledgment that we know each other. He is much younger than me so I’m not sure if it’s just immaturity, or he’s just an asshole. There are never any asshole flags when we are together outside of the gym.

I'm not sure why you care then. Sounds like as long as this casual relationship is fine outside of his work environment, it shouldn't really matter.

It just feels super rude to me. I mean he were my cousin, neighbor, high school friend or whatever, we’d say hi if we ran into each other. Acknowledging someone is not a sign of romance. It’s just a from of respect.

If you care enough to ask on here and think it's rude, I would just move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you hang out with him outside of the gym but at the gym, he sometimes doesn't even acknowledge you? Not too strange, he's just working a lot of different women when he's at the gym and you aren't the top priority. He already has you to hang out with and he's trying to increase his roster.

What's so hard to figure out?

That's really all it is. Don't hate the playa...

[mybestlife]

OP here. I'm not trying to interfere with him picking up other women. I guess from my perspective if I were the woman being hit on, and the guy waved to another woman at his place of work I would think nothing of it. But if most women would raise an eyebrow to this, I guess his behavior is to be expected. Thanks for the feedback.

[Anonymous]

OP, he's not as into you as you are into him. Stop trying to say that you don't want a relationship with him. Everything you've said proves that you do. You already said you're much older than him...grow up and let him get his flirting done. You're just a distraction.