Small vent, why do people insist on stupid things

[Anonymous]

My MIL has this habit of being incredibly insistent on random things.

I have a blender that can not go into the dishwasher. One of the ways that you can clean it is to put water and a drop of soap it in it, run it and rinse out. This does not work as well if the last thing was a sticky batter or the teens used it and did not clean out the pitcher part afterwards. Whenever I am cleaning that darn thing, MIL chimes in how I only need to to do the drop of dishwasher detergent and run it. I will explain why I am not doing it. She will insist that it will work anyway. By the end of the debate I am done washing it. The problem is that I have had this exact same interchange with her about 12 times.

We were about to go out the door and I said that I had to go find my keys. It took me two seconds to find them. MIL started insisting that we get a key entry system. She has one and loves it. DH said that's great but we're not rekeying our doors and putting a code on. MIL insisted argued with him for 10 minutes. She has brought it up again 3 more times.

There are many, many other examples but I don't get this. She is not overbearing on things that I would expect like parenting advice or whatever. She isn't bossy or controlling. She just gets fixating on these small random things all the time.

[Anonymous]

She's trying to be helpful.

[Anonymous]

I understand why you find her constant input annoying. I am assuming she doesn't live with you so you can smile and nod.

[Anonymous]

You can respond with "ok, thank you, we'll think about it" instead of arguing/fueling further argument.

[Anonymous]

Smile. "Hmm, that sounds interesting." Move on.

[Anonymous]

"MIL. Please stop. I've got this." And then turn away.

"You've said that three times now. Please drop it."

Be blunt a few times, it's worth it in the long run.

[Anonymous]

Thanks that gives us something to think about!

Thanks I might try that next time!

Thanks I'll consider it when I have some time!

Thanks I will take a look and research when I can!



One of these will most likely be appropriate for 99% of what she "recommends".

[Anonymous]

"That sounds like a good idea"

For my Mom I have to say "Ok I'll do it your way next time". Then not do it. "But you said you would do it my way next time" "Oh I'm sorry I forgot"
My Mom just wants to hear that she is correct and the best way to do it is her way.

We do get into "Why do I have to keep telling you do it X way?" Then I say, 'After all this time, why do you feel the need to tell me how to do it and not accept that I'm not going to change."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Smile. "Hmm, that sounds interesting." Move on.

+1

I agree with other previous posters she's just trying to be helpful - you don't have to argue with her.

[Anonymous]

My mom does this a lot too on same type of things. It's like someone is paying her to market whatever it is, her level of enthusiasm is so high. She loves to be helpful, and is often excited that she found a solution.

I just tell her glad it works for her and say "Noted, thanks" with enthusiasm. Sometimes I laugh and add that I'm just too stubborn to change and will not be saving plastic bread bags to put over my shoes when it snows.

[Anonymous]

Burst into a spontaneous rendition of "You say potato I say potahto".

[Anonymous]

Older people sometimes get stuck on things.

[Anonymous]

My MIL does this relentlessly about Airbnb. Whenever we are going away, she just can’t fathom why anyone would ever want to stay at a hotel when on vacation when they could stay at a whole house.

She doesn’t understand why we don’t do a lot of things, and is very VERY passionate about things that don’t affect her at all. Like finances, travel, transportation, etc. Also never parenting or marriage advice. But Airbnb? Got an hour to hear about how wonderful it is making oatmeal in the kitchen of your vacation rental?

[Anonymous]

My MIL is passionate about stupid things. She can not believe that we buy Splenda in the little packages instead of the big bag when the big bag is SO much expensive. This comes up every visit. She is one of those people who leave a trail of light on wherever she goes and must go through 2 rolls of paper towels a day so her frugality is random not consistent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Smile. "Hmm, that sounds interesting." Move on.

+1

I agree with other previous posters she's just trying to be helpful - you don't have to argue with her.

I agree with this response. Or a simple, "okay" and move on. If she keeps insisting, ignore her. Without knowing more, I can't tell if she's genuinely trying to be helpful.