Do you let your kid go on drop-off playdates if you don't know the family?

[Anonymous]

This is new territory for me. My kid (age 5) is at a new preschool school and he's getting asked to playdates. We don't know the families yet. If you get an invitation to someone's house would you let the kid go unaccompanied? How do you establish a comfort level to let this happen? I guess it's fine but there's a little voice in my head saying that some kind of due diligence needs to be done but I don't know what exactly.

[Anonymous]

No, I don't.

[Anonymous]

I’d maybe have the first play date at a park with both fams. Or I’d stay at someone’s house until I felt comfortable. Otherwise, no, I don’t trust the judgment of my 5 year old.

[Anonymous]

No I’m this case, no. I do let my elementary kids though as long as at least know of the family through mutual friends or I know the mom through PTO or class parties.

[Anonymous]

I'd drop them off and meet the parents. If I feel cool about it, I leave. If I don't, I stay.

[Anonymous]

No, not in preschool

[Anonymous]

Preschool you stay but starting kindergarten and 1st grade you need to leave. I no longer invite kids who won’t do drop off. I want my kids to play, I don’t want to entertain and make small talk with an adult.

[Anonymous]

Of course I let the kid go. When dc started preschool, we didn’t know any families there. If I didn’t let dc go and parents didn’t let their kids come, not sure how we’d even get to know each other. At 4-5, I used to stay the first time for 15 min or for length of play date, not just to get to know a bit the other family, but also make sure that dc is playing well and is comfortable. Some of the parents did the same as well, though some would just drop off. With dc2, I was the one more often just dropping off.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not.
You do NOT entrust a stranger with your child.

[Anonymous]

No, I don't but lots of people do. I am amazed at how readily someone will drop off at my house when they barely know me! But I am happy to host so I try to get ahead of it and invite the other kid first. I always tell the parent they are welcome to stay or drop off.

[Anonymous]

OP, you would not just "drop off", you come to the door. You talk with the other parent. You are, therefore, getting to know the other parent. Ideally you are invited-in.

[Anonymous]

My DD is in first and has only had one playdate with a family we didn't know. I invited them to either meet us at a park or come over. The dad was just going to drop his daughter off, but we invited him in to chat for a bit. He stayed about 20 minutes, then left to go run an errand. I think that's a good way to do it. I'm sure he would have stayed if he wasn't comfortable with us and I would have been OK with that.

[Anonymous]

Not until I know the parents.

[Anonymous]

Nope. I need to know the parents. They don't have to be besties but I want to have an idea as to who they are as people and how they interact with their kid. DS is in 2nd grade. He has a good group of friends who he plays with on a regular basis and that group is expanding but at 7 he is not ready to go to someones house and know when to call because there is a problem at the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Preschool you stay but starting kindergarten and 1st grade you need to leave. I no longer invite kids who won’t do drop off. I want my kids to play, I don’t want to entertain and make small talk with an adult.

This, but my kids turned 5 shortly after starting preschool, and unless I was friends with the mom, then GO!!! The kids can play just fine in the basement.