Bar mitzvah gift-how much $ to give?

Anonymous
My son is attending a bar mitzvah tomorrow for his friend. How much money do I give? I was told increments of 18? Thanks!
Anonymous
For a child's friend we never give less than a $72 check. More if we're close with the family.
Anonymous
And we do $54 and others do $36. Pick what feels comfortable for you...
Anonymous
What if multiple family members are attending? whats a decent PP $ amount?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:What if multiple family members are attending? whats a decent PP $ amount?


Like a wedding. No less than $180
Anonymous
Do you write a check or literally put cash in an envelope?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Do you write a check or literally put cash in an envelope?

Check!
Anonymous
For an acquaintance it’s genrally $360. If you give less, it’s cheap and people talk
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:For an acquaintance it’s genrally $360. If you give less, it’s cheap and people talk



For one kid who is a friend that is attending 360 is way too high. I've spent a lot of time in Manhattan Jewish circles (finance) and even there 360 is way too much for your kid to bring to a friend's bar mitvah.
Anonymous
My child recently had a bat mitzvah and we just deposited the gifts. The most common amount was $54. No friend gave her more than that. Some gave $36. Most families gave more than $54 but no one gave her more than around $250. We much preferred checks and were surprised that she received a lot of cash too.
Anonymous
Our child received mostly checks for $54 from friends from school, and $108 from some really good friends. $250 checks were from great aunts and other older relatives. DC could care less how much the checks were, and neither did we - we were happy to share this simcha (joyous occaision) with family and friends.
Anonymous
For a kid going solo 54 dollar check is pretty standard.

Sometimes a non Jewish friend who feels awkward giving cash to peers (or I should say- whose family feels awkward about it) does a 50 dollar gift card which is essentially the same thing.
Anonymous
$36 for a classmate but not close friend. $54 for a classmate that is more than casual and less than a close friend. Anywhere from 72 to 108 or higher for a close friend depending on if the child or the entire family has been invited.
Anonymous
It is a birthday party for a 13 year old. No more than $30
Anonymous
A Bar or Bat Mitzvah is not a birthday party. It is a lifecycle event, symbolizing coming of age in Judaism. The mitzvah child has likely spent years learning Hebrew to prepare for their ceremony. They essentially lead the prayer service for their congregation and read from the Torah (ancient scrolls written in Hebrew with no vowels). They also deliver the sermon. I assure you pp, and everyone else who think it is just a big party, it is not.
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