Did you help pay for a sibling's wedding?

[Anonymous]

Spouse was talking to a sibling about sib's upcoming wedding, and sibling pointed out that a third sibling is paying for part of the wedding expenses. Spouse asked what I thought about all that -- should we be chipping in? -- and I said that it seemed weird but it was not my call.

The wedding is soon, so plans are all in place. This is a question about writing a check. (Or is it about . . . SO MUCH MORE?)

Everyone involved is over 40. Parents are dead. Is it typical to help pay for a sibling's wedding under these circumstances? We're all Americans of European descent, and I don't remember hearing of anyone doing this, but we're not wedding-centric, so maybe it was going on and I missed it.

(I'm trying to keep this gender-neutral in case that influences anyone's reaction.)

[Anonymous]

Not just no... f no

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

Did they help pay for yours?

[Anonymous]

Hell no.

[Anonymous]

We recently gave DH's sibling $1000, which is more than what we would've given a friend, but help him actually pay for the wedding? No.

[Anonymous]

I've never heard of this, but it sounds from the info you've provided I would assume since parents are no longer living, maybe sibling feels it's something they want to do to support the other sibling since often parents will chip in and sibling currently getting married doesn't have that option (were deceased parents alive for your wedding and pitched in?). I certainly don't think your family should feel they need to chip in, I don't think this is a typical arrangement. I would just assume the sibling chipping in has the means and felt this was a good use of their money to support sibling.

[Anonymous]

Bizarre.

[Anonymous]

No. Its likely that your sibling knows that you are not as easy to persuade to do this as the other sibling so this is why they didn't ask. They are mentioning it to hope to guilt you into paying for some it which is incredibly tacky IMO.

[Anonymous]

WTF

[Anonymous]

Weird. Super weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We recently gave DH's sibling $1000, which is more than what we would've given a friend, but help him actually pay for the wedding? No.

I'm with the others - a big no on actually helping pay for the wedding, but I would give a generous gift to my sibling.

[Anonymous]

Nope, not normal. It would be nice of you. You could choose to pay for the rehearsal as your gift to them or something. But no, not normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spouse was talking to a sibling about sib's upcoming wedding, and sibling pointed out that a third sibling is paying for part of the wedding expenses. Spouse asked what I thought about all that -- should we be chipping in? -- and I said that it seemed weird but it was not my call.

The wedding is soon, so plans are all in place. This is a question about writing a check. (Or is it about . . . SO MUCH MORE?)

Everyone involved is over 40. Parents are dead. Is it typical to help pay for a sibling's wedding under these circumstances? We're all Americans of European descent, and I don't remember hearing of anyone doing this, but we're not wedding-centric, so maybe it was going on and I missed it.

(I'm trying to keep this gender-neutral in case that influences anyone's reaction.)

Even if the parents were alive it seems weird to expect them to pay for a 40 y/o's wedding.

I would give a generous monetary gift in honor of the wedding because they are close family ($500-$5,000ish depending on your finances). They can decide how to use it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We recently gave DH's sibling $1000, which is more than what we would've given a friend, but help him actually pay for the wedding? No.

This. I gave my sister a large gift (money) but not before wedding