I wish I could give my kids whatever they want

[Anonymous]

It's so much fun surprising them with candy or letting them play with electronics far too long. I hate their disappointment when I tell them it's time to go to bed, or do homework or chores. Obviously I make them do all the stuff they need to do but it's such a drudgery sometimes. It would be so much fun to live in a world where the fun and yummy stuff is actually the stuff that was good for you. I can't wait to be a grandparent that gets to spoil the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's so much fun surprising them with candy or letting them play with electronics far too long. I hate their disappointment when I tell them it's time to go to bed, or do homework or chores. Obviously I make them do all the stuff they need to do but it's such a drudgery sometimes. It would be so much fun to live in a world where the fun and yummy stuff is actually the stuff that was good for you. I can't wait to be a grandparent that gets to spoil the kids.

Think of it this way though - if you allowed unlimited candy, electronics time, etc., they would just feel entitled to it and you'd be depriving them of the joy of a surprise/special occasion.

[Anonymous]

Giving children everything they want is the way to having spoiled brats.

[Anonymous]

If it's the norm instead of a treat, it stops being so fun. By giving in all the time, you'd actually be depriving them of the opportunity to feel treated.

[Anonymous]

I think many parents these days feel similar. They're depriving their kids of normal human experiences like disappointment, sadness, etc. by indulging their every whim. Reality will hit them in adulthood.

Yes I sound like an old curmudgeon but I just turned 41--just an observation of my peers.

[Anonymous]

This is exactly why being an effective parent is hard. Being a grown up is hard.

You cannot indulge your child's every whim and be a good, effective, loving parent. If you do that, your child will grow up to be spoiled and entitled, not to mention unable to function as a responsible, independent adult. They will never learn the value of hard work and self-control.

You set limits, BECAUSE you love them.

[Anonymous]

I tell my kids (and myself) that it won't be fun or special if we eat/have/do XYZ all the time.

[Anonymous]

I agree, OP. I'm going to enjoy grandparenthood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I tell my kids (and myself) that it won't be fun or special if we eat/have/do XYZ all the time.

I tell my child that and he tells me maybe we should try and see if things change.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's so much fun surprising them with candy or letting them play with electronics far too long. I hate their disappointment when I tell them it's time to go to bed, or do homework or chores. Obviously I make them do all the stuff they need to do but it's such a drudgery sometimes. It would be so much fun to live in a world where the fun and yummy stuff is actually the stuff that was good for you. I can't wait to be a grandparent that gets to spoil the kids.

We see the result of this everyday. Please don't do it. Be a parent.


-a teacher

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tell my kids (and myself) that it won't be fun or special if we eat/have/do XYZ all the time.

I tell my child that and he tells me maybe we should try and see if things change.

The berenstain bears have s book on this. I think it's titled "too much junk food" or something like that. The novelty of XYZ wore off quickly when indulging all the time.

[Anonymous]

I’m the opposite. I love setting limits, saying no, watching them struggle (in a productive way), disappointing them (in a benign way). I feel like my kids’ lives are so easy in so many ways—whatever I can do to help them learn some resilience, I’m all for.

[Anonymous]

This is bad parenting 101 “how to raise entitled kids”!

[Anonymous]

They don't want "stuff". They want your attention and loving engagement with them. Easy to give, and free!

[Anonymous]

You need to give your kids what they need, not what they want. (Easier said than done, and I certainly fail plenty - it's easier to let them watch YouTube videos for another 10 minutes.. ok, 30 minutes... ok, hour.)