I wish I could give my kids whatever they want

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is bad parenting 101 “how to raise entitled kids”!

OP here. I DON'T do this. Obviously. I just wish I could. I'm well aware that it would be bad parenting.

[Anonymous]

Dear God.

Don’t be that grandmother either. Maybe your kids won’t even want kids of their own. Chill out, man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's so much fun surprising them with candy or letting them play with electronics far too long. I hate their disappointment when I tell them it's time to go to bed, or do homework or chores. Obviously I make them do all the stuff they need to do but it's such a drudgery sometimes. It would be so much fun to live in a world where the fun and yummy stuff is actually the stuff that was good for you. I can't wait to be a grandparent that gets to spoil the kids.

I thought this was going to be a post about travel, private school, and sports and activities. Ha ha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is bad parenting 101 “how to raise entitled kids”!

OP here. I DON'T do this. Obviously. I just wish I could. I'm well aware that it would be bad parenting.

It’s bad grandparenting, too.

[Anonymous]

I wish to give my kids the gift of reading comprehension so that if they read OP's post, they would understand, unlike the vast majority of posters here, that it was about what she WANTED to do and NOT what she actually did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear God.

Don’t be that grandmother either. Maybe your kids won’t even want kids of their own. Chill out, man.

This. I'm not counting on being a grandparent, since the birthrate is declining as more people delay parenthood or decide not to have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is bad parenting 101 “how to raise entitled kids”!

OP here. I DON'T do this. Obviously. I just wish I could. I'm well aware that it would be bad parenting.

It’s bad grandparenting, too.

Disagree, unless you see them so constantly you are closer to a parental role than a grandparent role. There is nothing wrong with letting kids stay up late and eat ice cream for dinner once every couple of months, for example.

[Anonymous]

FYI, I did not allow the grandparents to spoil. They tried it once, and I told them if they ever did that again I would restrict access. They may not give my kids junk food. They may not tell my kids to keep secrets from us. And when they bought things for the kids I had said no to, I refused delivery.

I say yes to everything they ask for when we’re on vacation. Can we get Starbucks every morning? Yes. Can we spend 20 minutes at the museum but two hours in the gift shop? Yes. Can I stand in the middle of the street to take this picture that will look cool for Instagram? Yes. Can we make garlic bread at 1am? Yes. And then we come home from vacation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is bad parenting 101 “how to raise entitled kids”!

OP here. I DON'T do this. Obviously. I just wish I could. I'm well aware that it would be bad parenting.

It’s bad grandparenting, too.

Disagree, unless you see them so constantly you are closer to a parental role than a grandparent role. There is nothing wrong with letting kids stay up late and eat ice cream for dinner once every couple of months, for example.

No, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. It’s a far cry from indulging their every whim, though, no matter how often you see them.

[Anonymous]

Sarcasm?

Spoiling my kids isn’t fun. If they eat too much candy, they won’t eat the meals I make; if they play video games for too long, they get grumpy; if they don’t go to bed on time, they’re tired at school the next day.

I have no trouble being obeyed, OP, because I have always expected compliance. They are now 9 and 14. It is important to build authority and trust before they start puberty.

[Anonymous]

OP everyone seemed to miss your point. I understand. Make it fun for them as much as you can in the these young years! Friday night is fun night. Kids love looking forward to something.

I have a teen son and we're in the throes of life moving too fast, looming college, internship and soon much schoolwork. We still love fridays! Of course, he has plans some of the time but when he doesn't we are all down to chill, order take out, he actually bakes the best brownies. It goes fast so enjoy!

[Anonymous]

Look, I've never been one to say that someone can't complain because someone else has it worse, but really, think about what it would be like to not be able to give your children what they NEED. I can't imagine much worse as a parent. So be happy that you can give your kid what they want every once in a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FYI, I did not allow the grandparents to spoil. They tried it once, and I told them if they ever did that again I would restrict access. They may not give my kids junk food. They may not tell my kids to keep secrets from us. And when they bought things for the kids I had said no to, I refused delivery.

I say yes to everything they ask for when we’re on vacation. Can we get Starbucks every morning? Yes. Can we spend 20 minutes at the museum but two hours in the gift shop? Yes. Can I stand in the middle of the street to take this picture that will look cool for Instagram? Yes. Can we make garlic bread at 1am? Yes. And then we come home from vacation.

Could the grandparents take the kids to starbucks or would their access be cutoff if they tried to do such an awful thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP everyone seemed to miss your point. I understand. Make it fun for them as much as you can in the these young years! Friday night is fun night. Kids love looking forward to something.

I have a teen son and we're in the throes of life moving too fast, looming college, internship and soon much schoolwork. We still love fridays! Of course, he has plans some of the time but when he doesn't we are all down to chill, order take out, he actually bakes the best brownies. It goes fast so enjoy!

Yup, they did. There is a difference in wistfully wanting to indulge their every need because you like seeing them happy and excited and actually doing that. Clearly the OP is saying she wishes she could indulge them but she knows that she can't. I am with her.

It would be great to give my DS everything that he asks for but that would be counter productive and I know it. He asks why we can't buy X, "Both you and Daddy work and you have money, why can't I have that toy." And I explain why he can't have it and why we save. And then we started him on an allowance and remind him if he really wants something he can spend his own money. Amazingly, his desire to have everything has diminished. He is actually pretty stingy with his money. It makes me smile.

But it is fun to give him special treats and surprise him with something that I know that he wants. I love the smile and the giggle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Giving children everything they want is the way to having spoiled brats.

+1