Did I make a mistake in stopping to talk and not try with online crush?

[Anonymous]

I'm in my 30s female. I had an online friendship/relationship with a successful well off attractive guy in his 30s too who lives in the west coast. He cheated on our relationship various times in the 5 years I've known him. I haven't met or Skyped with him because of some deep insecurities and anxiety even though he knows what I look like. I know I need to get help for the insecurities and anxiety but I am working on it. I only make 35k a year compared to him I am poor so there's another insecurity. I love him though. Should I try to move or reach out? I know by now he probably has a trail of women who love his money who are standing by like Hawks. I am willing to fly out to see him though.

[Anonymous]

Yeah he’s probably lying about the money. And how can he cheat on you if he hasn’t even met you??? Please seek therapy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah he’s probably lying about the money. And how can he cheat on you if he hasn’t even met you??? Please seek therapy

He is not lying about being successful. He runs a very popular office in his state and we were Facebook friends with his co-workers. Talked to his co-workers family friends etc. His office has it's Yelp page as well and I saw him on live cam so the pics match the site and Facebook. He can cheat because we both promised not to date others. Talked thru the day everyday for years.

[Anonymous]

Yeah you made a huge mistake OP his cheating was negligible but his money is tangible. Buy a plane ticket ASAP and go patch things up with him. Try and seduce him into letting you move in this is a once in a lifetime chance don’t let it slip thru your fingers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah you made a huge mistake OP his cheating was negligible but his money is tangible. Buy a plane ticket ASAP and go patch things up with him. Try and seduce him into letting you move in this is a once in a lifetime chance don’t let it slip thru your fingers.

I have actual feelings for him though. His cheating hurts the most. I am poor but intellect attracts me and he has it. I met him when he was making as much as I was. I don't know if he will take me back.

[Anonymous]

You have a fantasy with a guy you have never met.

Do not, do not, under any circumstances send him money.

[Anonymous]

Catfish

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have a fantasy with a guy you have never met.

Do not, do not, under any circumstances send him money.

He never asked for money in the 5 years I've known him. His family and friends and employee s are on his Facebook. I talked to most of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Catfish

The pictures I sent him were of me.

[Anonymous]

OP,
Please "break off" this relationship. He is not in love with you. You are deluded and you need therapy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,
Please "break off" this relationship. He is not in love with you. You are deluded and you need therapy.

Yes like I said I know my anxiety and insecurities need therapy. However you can say people who were cheated on were also deluded into thinking their boyfriend was faithful and in love with them. This man booked a trip to see me and offered to send me money to fly to see him. He also told me he loved me. I don't believe he does but I still love him. I just have this curiousity now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a fantasy with a guy you have never met.

Do not, do not, under any circumstances send him money.

He never asked for money in the 5 years I've known him. His family and friends and employee s are on his Facebook. I talked to most of them.

They could all be fake, too. If there are women lining up for him, I don’t understand why he’s in an online relationship with someone he’s never met or even Skyped. There’s something fishy there. Do not move there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah you made a huge mistake OP his cheating was negligible but his money is tangible. Buy a plane ticket ASAP and go patch things up with him. Try and seduce him into letting you move in this is a once in a lifetime chance don’t let it slip thru your fingers.

I have actual feelings for him though. His cheating hurts the most. I am poor but intellect attracts me and he has it. I met him when he was making as much as I was. I don't know if he will take me back.

You have to be bold OP. You have to make that bold move to A) show him how deep your feelings are for him and B) show him you are willing to go above and beyond for him. Buy a plane ticket and go see him NOW. Taking things to that next step and graduating from simple online correspondence to actual face-to-face interaction is what will convince him to take you back. Show him you love him.

[Anonymous]

Man here. I've had relationships like this (when I was on the other side). I"m surprised he agreed to the "be exclusive" thing if you two have never met -- did you suggest it first?

In my relationships like this, I've been clear on the situation (non-exclusive) and told them I understand if it won't work for them. Some can't handle it, some can.

Sounds like you like the guy, and he likes you -- he's spending time talking to you every day. You'll probably have less regret in life if you visit him than if you don't. Go ahead and do it, but just don't set up your hopes too high. At the very least, you'll have a fun trip even if it doesn't last forever.

[Anonymous]

Go to him. You won’t regret it. If he wants to sleep with you and have threesomes and use toys, go for it!