Help me decide if I should stay at home or go back to work (baby is 6 weeks old)
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Anonymous
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My ds is 6 weeks old. I have the financial means to stay at home with him and quit my job. My maternity leave is up and if I do go back to work, I will have to start next Monday. Ugh!!! What should I do???
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Anonymous
| Can you take unpaid leave to extend to 12 or 16 weeks? What is your childcare plan for next week? |
Anonymous
| Do you like your job and want to go back eventually? If so, and you have the financial means could you negotiate a longer, unpaid leave period? If not, and you feel like you want to stay home, do it! You can always go back into the workforce- if you choose to stay home now, it doesn't mean you have to stay home forever (but if you want to, that's cool too). 6 weeks is really young, I know many people do go back at that time because our country has such terrible policies, but I would have had a hard time. I got six months off, and felt ready to go back at that time. |
Anonymous
| 6 weeks is ridiculous OP. You should have planned better. Now, either your baby is in a bad situation. I suggest you get a nanny so at least your kid won’t be subjected to daycare this young (and I’m a daycare mom). |
Anonymous
Ditto to all this. Only you know what's right for you! |
Anonymous
And that should say - either your baby or your boss is in a bad situation |
Anonymous
| This has to be a troll. |
Anonymous
This. Have your doctor sign off on FMLA. You get 12 weeks by law. |
Anonymous
Your privilege is showing. Many of us go back to work after 6 weeks. My mom and MIL each spent a week with the baby, then baby started daycare at 9 weeks. Ideal? No. Is he fine? Absolutely. Healthy and happy and thriving 6 yo now. |
Anonymous
Go back to work. All of my colleagues are now at the top of the ladder. I had to start all over. It. Sucks. Whoever tells you that you can just jump back in is a lying liar. And, if you’re telling yourself you’ll be back in the game soon, you just another few months, then you’re lying to yourself. Go back to work. Shift to a position that is less pressured or more flexible, but do it from a position of strength. This ONLY comes with being in the workforce. I am only speaking my truth. It was so incredibly difficult that I want to spare you that awfulness. Good luck, whatever you decide. |
Anonymous
| My advice: Don't let how you feel at 6 weeks dictate the future of your career. 6 weeks likely feels very early to go back (because it is), and you might well feel differently at 12 or 16 or 20 weeks. Or a year for that matter. |
Anonymous
THIS don't make a decision at 6 weeks. Take 12 weeks and then you will know what is right for you. |
Anonymous
This is harsh but you shouldn’t have a child if you have to return to work at six weeks. We don’t have paid leave in this country because women continue to have children under abysmal conditions. |
Anonymous
I was in the same position. I took the 3 months you are allowed under family medical leave. I was ready to go back at the end of the third month. But that was me. And while we could afford for me to stay home, we are financially better off with my working. We have been able to save a good amount and are not worried about what happens if one or the other of us loses their job. We have some breathing room. And I happen to enjoy working. My suggestion, try and extend your leave using the family medical leave act. Start to look for a day care that starts at 3 months, or a Nanny or something. We worked our work schedule so that I went in earlier and DH dropped DS at Day Care. I picked DS up as soon as nap time was over, around 3 PM. DS was at Day Care from 9 -3, so not a really long time. We shifted our work schedules when he started school so I can be home when he gets home from school. I know that type of flexible scheduling is not available for everyone but you can at least ask about it. I like working. I like having the time where I am more engaged in something I enjoy doing. I like the salary it brings in and the financial security it provides. I like that I am maintaining solid skills so that if, god forbid, anything happened to my DH I would be in a good place to financially care for our child. I actually earn more then my DH so my not working would be a larger hit to the family income. But you have to decide what is best for you. I know some people who strongly preferred being home with their child. That choice was great for them but lousy for me. The good news is that you can make the decision that is best for you. But 6 weeks, heck even 3 months, is really early to be making a huge decision. There is just so much that is happening and changing that it is hard to make a clear decision. |
Anonymous
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OP there are soo many factors that play into this - we would need more information to really help you with your decision. Here are some questions:
Are you eligible for FMLA? If so, claim it and take as much unpaid time as possible. Try to negotiate for even more unpaid time. This is one thing I wish I had done more of - I negotiated for 4 months (most of it unpaid after I'd used my leave) but I only wish I'd just said I really need 6 months. they would have kept my position because it takes too long to fill anyway and I'm doing it unpaid. If you are able to financially do this which you can based on your OP, do it. How flexible is your career/current job? Could you work earlier hours, work from home, etc, so that working will feel more tenable? How much does you partner work? If a lot is going to fall on your then that should come into consideration. Working more flexible hours doesn't solve all the issues but it helps. Could you leave your job for a year and easily get a new one? Staying home the first year is ideal (for some, not all - some really enjoy going back to work! that's ok too) because you avoid those daycare bugs in the early days and then when they are mobile and better able to engage in the group setting (I mean still limited, it's just parallel play but my son still likes his little daycare buddies). How would being at home impact your relationship with your partner? Sometimes that can be a hard aspect of being home because you become the "expert." Working full time has been a struggle for me as I'd like to be home more with my son, but one positive is that it is definitely the great equalizer. We're both working full time and the expectation is that we both give and take as needed to balance both. If that won't be the case even if you're both working though, that's something to consider (for example if your partner thinks his job needs to be prioritized because he makes more money and you all haven't already worked that out) With your chosen profession how would leaving impact your career in 5-10 years if you decided to go back? Could you go back part time? |