I Don't Want To Breastfeed..

[Anonymous]

I am expecting a child ( gender unknown) on November 8. I have decided I don't want to breastfeed for a multitude of reasons. The main reason is I have a hormone disorder that has resulted in super tender breasts and nipples that feel as if they are bruised. It has become much worse since being pregnant, and I know it will be even worse if I breastfeed. I know it may seem selfish, but I feel its the best choice for myself and my child. My husband doesn't agree, and feels that I should at least give it a chance. He argues it's the healthiest - it is, but formula is just as good. He comes from a family with women who are big advocates for breastfeeding, and all have felt the need to give their unsolicited advice.

I'm starting to feel what should be a private and personal choice isn't. I feel I'm being made to feel guilty or bad about my decision. It's really hurtful that my own husband doesn't support me. His family is giving me breastfeeding supplies, even though I've asked them to stop. I'm very hurt and I don't know what to do.

[Anonymous]

If you don’t want to, don’t. Your DH is just parroting what his family says. Your baby is going to be absolutely 100% fine

[Anonymous]

You will never be able to do it if you are not all in. So it sounds like it won’t work anyway.

But I agree that you should at least try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You will never be able to do it if you are not all in. So it sounds like it won’t work anyway.

But I agree that you should at least try.

+1. OP, how do you know that the problem will be worse if you BF? Have you had that experience with a previous infant?

[Anonymous]

I agree that breastfeeding is best. It also sounds like you have a medical reason for not nursing.

Firstly, STOP telling people what your plan is.
Secondly, tell your husband if he wants to nurse, he can go ahead and do it. The key to breastfeeding is that it works for BOTH PARTIES involved (mother and baby). If one party doesn't want to, it needs to stop (or not happen).
Thirdly, what about offering a compromise of registering with a milk bank and seeing if you could get milk that way?
Fourthly, if I were you, I would try for colostrum - it stimulates pain relief naturely and gives newborns a boost of immunity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you don’t want to, don’t. Your DH is just parroting what his family says. Your baby is going to be absolutely 100% fine

This. I didn't BF and I never felt guilty for that decision.

[Anonymous]

(Hugs)

I tried breast feeding but it didn’t work for me. My milk never came in in a large enough quantity to feed my son. We tried pumping to try and get the milk flowing but after three months of pumping, breast feeding and supplementing with formula after breast feeding, DS said enough and refused to try and breast feed.

And I was cool with that.

You don’t have to breast feed, your baby will be fine without it.

If you can pump and use breast milk that is a great option. I was only getting an ounce or two a session but that was enough to pass on some of what DS needed. If that is an option, awesome. If it is not, ignore the nay sayers and do your formula feeding thing.

[Anonymous]

I breastfed my first until 18 months and my second is 27 months and still nursing. It sounds like you just really don’t want to for a lot of reasons, so don’t. Don’t ever try. Start with formula. Tell your husband that this isn’t a situation where his opinion carries equal weight to yours and that his relatives have even less influence. If you go into it saying you’ll try, I foresee a time around Christmas when you are at the end of your rope and spend the holidays getting crap and suggestions from extended family. If you are formula feeding from the start, there will be zero ambiguity.

If it sounded at all like you needed a pep talk to try nursing, I’d be first in line, but it doesn’t sound like that. It looks like you’re seeking permission not to. Permission granted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You will never be able to do it if you are not all in. So it sounds like it won’t work anyway.

But I agree that you should at least try.

This. DW was on the fence, was never able to make it work, and just have up. If you're not 100% on it, don't feel pressured into doing something you don't want to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that breastfeeding is best. It also sounds like you have a medical reason for not nursing.

Firstly, STOP telling people what your plan is.
Secondly, tell your husband if he wants to nurse, he can go ahead and do it. The key to breastfeeding is that it works for BOTH PARTIES involved (mother and baby). If one party doesn't want to, it needs to stop (or not happen).
Thirdly, what about offering a compromise of registering with a milk bank and seeing if you could get milk that way?
Fourthly, if I were you, I would try for colostrum - it stimulates pain relief naturely and gives newborns a boost of immunity.

I agree with this poster. Your husband doesn’t get a vote.

I nursed because it was best for my babies and me, it was not easy and it was not painless, but it was my choice to decide what to do.

[Anonymous]

Your body, your choice.

Fed is best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am expecting a child ( gender unknown) on November 8. I have decided I don't want to breastfeed for a multitude of reasons. The main reason is I have a hormone disorder that has resulted in super tender breasts and nipples that feel as if they are bruised. It has become much worse since being pregnant, and I know it will be even worse if I breastfeed. I know it may seem selfish, but I feel its the best choice for myself and my child. My husband doesn't agree, and feels that I should at least give it a chance. He argues it's the healthiest - it is, but formula is just as good. He comes from a family with women who are big advocates for breastfeeding, and all have felt the need to give their unsolicited advice.

I'm starting to feel what should be a private and personal choice isn't. I feel I'm being made to feel guilty or bad about my decision. It's really hurtful that my own husband doesn't support me. His family is giving me breastfeeding supplies, even though I've asked them to stop. I'm very hurt and I don't know what to do.

When he goes through pregnancy then he can breast feed but until then, it is your choice, not his!

[Anonymous]

I 100% support your decision to not breastfeed. Don't let anyone guilt you into anything.

I will only say that I learned, going through three pregnancies, that for me it was best to wait until the decision was at hand to make a final call. There were things that I swore I would do/not do before the babies were born, and then when the babies were there I made a different choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your body, your choice.

Fed is best.

+1 OP, this is the first of many things you’ll encounter as a parent where friends, family, and strangers feel the need to comment on your parenting. You need to buckle up now because it’s a long ride. Try to spend the next two months working on strategies to ignore others comments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your body, your choice.

Fed is best.

+1 OP, this is the first of many things you’ll encounter as a parent where friends, family, and strangers feel the need to comment on your parenting. You need to buckle up now because it’s a long ride. Try to spend the next two months working on strategies to ignore others comments.

sadly this.