Just be prepared for all the judgement you will feel when you bottle feed a small baby in public. |
Amen! |
I breast fed and bottle fed in public and never felt judged for either action. |
I tried breastfeeding briefly and hated it, so I stopped after a couple of weeks. I didn't do it at all with my second. They're both a-ok! Don't listen to anyone else and don't let yourself be stressed about this. |
+1 you should not breastfeed if you don’t want to and your baby will do GREAT. But having a newborn is world rocking and sometimes things you think you’ll think, feel different once they are here. So just be kind to yourself and prepare yourself for either option so that you feel good either way. |
OP here. Thank you. I think I need to have a serious talk with my husband and tell I'm how upset it makes me that he isn't supporting me.
As for formula, what do you recommend? My parents go us 2 cases of Enfamil NeuroPro RTF. Is this good formula? 2 out of the 3 daycares we are applied to have Earths Best Organic formula included in the price. I would prefer to have the baby on one formula instead of switching back and forth, but I'm not sure if we will get in, or just hire a nanny. |
Whatever you decide to do, it’s your decision. Don’t feel guilty and don’t apologize.
You should draw firm boundaries and stick to them. If you are given breastfeeding supplies, simply say, “Thank you but I won’t be needing this. Do you want it back or should I donate it?” If they start in with a lecture, tell them that subject is closed and change the topic every time. It’s more delicate with your husband. Whatever private conversations you two have, you should make it clear that you expect him to have your back in public, especially with his family. As for any judgmental strangers, I never had any issue when I bottle fed in public but I was dying to use some catchy zinger like, “I don’t see how that’s any of your business. Congratulations! Good luck with your last few weeks. |
Regarding formula: once we determined that the baby didn’t have any allegros or sensitivities, we switched to a cheaper store brand. Formula does get expensive. |
I breastfed my dd for 19 months and firmly say you should not have an ounce of guilt for skipping it, are under zero obligation to try and anyone who says otherwise should take a hike. Including your husband. I hope you have some supportive friends. I can’t imagine pressuring ANYONE into it unless they were on the fence and wanted both sides.
I do think that when it comes to formula and bottles it’s trial and error. Some formulas (I did supplement occasionally) really smell awful and others my dd just didn’t like or they gave her bad gas. Best recommendation would be to get a few ready to feed bottles of different types and try them out. You can also call the pediatrician’s office you will be using to ask for their recommendation—this will be doubly effective because if they push back at all on your decision instead of offering helpful advice then you’ll know to keep searching for a different pediatrician. |
Just to reinforce the idea that you shouldn’t nurse (because you obviously don’t want to nurse, and frankly that’s reason enough): I’ve breastfed for a cumulative total of five years, I love nursing, and I can tell you with confidence that the first few days are EXCRUCIATING. And that’s assuming you don’t have any latching issues, which can take it from “ow ow ow this hurts” to “my nipples are bleeding so badly I can’t let the baby near me and will instead feed pumped milk, which by the way is HOT PINK from all the blood.” So your husband’s milquetoast “oh let’s just try and see” is idiotic: you’re not going to get any useful information from nursing for a few days because even in people who don’t have extremely sensitive breasts it hurts like crazy. |
Something to consider is that my baby absolutely rejected formula. I had started breastfeeding at the hospital and was having a really hard time at home. At 2 weeks I tried all sorts of formula and my baby would throw up everything immediately and scream from hunger. (It turns out my baby had a milk allergy and I guess just didn’t like the other formulas we tried.) |
We used Similac Organic. It was cheapest on COSTCO’s website. Make sure you look at Amazon subscribe abd save for baby wipes and other items that you need replenished frequently. You can get 25% off all items in a month shipment if you have 5 things on the list. We used it for baby food, we could not send homemade into day care, wipes, diapers, over night diapers, and other essentials.
And totally get night time diapers. They make a world of difference. |
Since they're already involved anyway (eyeroll), are these women in his family aware of your specific situation? I cannot imagine anyone who actually understands and advocates for breastfeeding undermining their "cause" by forcing it in such a painful scenario.
I loved breastfeeding, and know a lot about it, but my heart went out to you from the very first sentence, and my first thought for anyone in your situation is, "I'm so glad formula is there as a great choice." You should be enjoying warm snuggles when feeding your baby, not worried about anything and feeling pressure. I'm sorry, OP. There are plenty of paragraphs even in breastfeeding guides you can highlight that say this is a two-way street relationship, and if it doesn't work for either mother or baby, it doesn't work. |
OK, are you also going to warn OP that if she does choose to breastfeed, to be ready for the glares and "that bitch is crazy" shared glances that others gave me when I had the audacity to breastfeed in public? And YES, I used a cover. Every time. I also got a lot of leering commentary from old, disgusting men. |
Are you sure this isn’t just paranoia? Most people aside from maybe old ladies don’t give AF what you’re doing as long as baby isn’t crying |