Friend is weirdly competitive about our kids

[Anonymous]

I know the right answer is to just not engage, and I don’t engage, but I just need to vent. I have a friend who constantly tags me on Facebook in brag posts about her younger son. “Larlo put together this 20 piece puzzle all on his own! He’s so smart!” “Larlo is working on writing his own name! So proud of him!” “Here’s a video of Larlo pointing out letters!” She will sometimes tag other people too, so it’s not just me. She’ll make the post and then, a few hours later, post a comment to her own video/picture that tags some of us.

The thing is our kids aren’t even the same age. Her kids are 8 and 2.5; mine are 4.5 and almost 1. If I also had a 2.5 year old I could almost understand it? Although it would be super obnoxious bragging/comparing of children. But my kid is 4.5! He’s already doing that stuff and was doing it at 2.5 too. I’ve never talked to anyone in person about this because I don’t want to create drama. I just don’t get it. Why are people like this?

[Anonymous]

She's definitely being socially awkward and braggy, but I don't see why it's necessarily about being competitive with your kids. Maybe she just thinks you're one of the people who will actually care to celebrate Larlo's accomplishments with her.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like she is just straight-up bragging, not competing. I wouldn't worry about it. Some people like to brag about their kids and some don't. I'm in the latter category. I'm happy to hear about what my friends' kids are doing and if it starts to get annoying I just read less.

[Anonymous]

Does her child have grandparents? Sometimes if there is no grand parents or aunt or uncle, proud parents will share that kind of stuff with friends

[Anonymous]

Why are you on FB? It is poisonous.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. That’s so sad. If you find it annoying, just don’t respond.

[Anonymous]

OP, think about what works for you and act on it. It's really not fair to consider someone a friend and yet be resentful of the current level of engagement --- unless you do your part.

[Anonymous]

Isn’t there a security setting where people can’t tag you unless you approve it? My SIL used to tag me in photos of her kids and I shut that down quick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t there a security setting where people can’t tag you unless you approve it? My SIL used to tag me in photos of her kids and I shut that down quick.

I was going to say this. Make yourself untaggable to her.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure she’s bragging and not just trying to make sure you see the post? I don’t have Facebook but I do send pictures and videos of my kids to friends and they send me theirs but I’ve never thought it was bragging, just sharing their kids accomplishments as I also do.

[Anonymous]

Facebook is a terrible waste of your time and attention.

[Anonymous]

It doesn’t sound competitive to me, either. The fact that her son is younger probably means she thinks you think of it as competitive. She thinks you care about her kids’ accomplishments and want to hear about them, that you’ll be proud of them too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t sound competitive to me, either. The fact that her son is younger probably means she thinks you think of it as competitive. She thinks you care about her kids’ accomplishments and want to hear about them, that you’ll be proud of them too.

Was trying to say that she does NOT think you’ll find it competitive, due to the difference in ages.

[Anonymous]

Wait...she tags you in a FB post of her kids doing something? Huh?

The lady sounds more than just competitive...this is just WEIRD. I would never tag someone who wasn't either there or in the picture. It's honestly just strange behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Facebook is a terrible waste of your time and attention.

I get much more enjoyment from Facebook than DCUM.