If you have low income, where do you live?

[Anonymous]

I'm about to separate, and gross only $34,000/year. I'm a teacher at the private my 2 kids attend.

I live in Cheverly (and love it). We have a little, unimproved house, but I can't afford to keep it. Our school and friends are nearby, so I'm hoping not to move too far. But, I'll go where I have to! Anyone got suggestions?

[Anonymous]

No suggestions re: locations, but can you take in a female renter? Maybe a college student, or a young professional who would like some of the noise and hum of a young family? Then maybe you could offset some of the expense of a nicer zip code, and have some built in adult companionship/ conversation to boot?

[Anonymous]

Oh mama, that's tough. I live in Mt. Rainier, and when I separated I made about 30K. I was in a tiny firetrap of an apartment for a couple years until I made more money. If you can hang onto the house (I.e., not be the one who leaves), I second getting a roommate. Expect to get into some credit card debt (It's OK. Really.)

Alternatively, Mt. Rainier has a lot of folks who rent out rooms in their houses. It might be cheaper than staying.

[Anonymous]

Check out coabode.com. I was able to keep my house (so far) because I found a roomate. Not on coabode, but that is a central place I've heard of for finding one. A fellow mom would be best in terms of mutual support, but mine is a single woman and it's worked out fine.

[Anonymous]

Sorry to hear. Is your xtb going to buy you out? That might tide you over for a few years.

[Anonymous]

Coabode is for other single mothers. I considered it but thought it would be too complicated for my child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Coabode is for other single mothers. I considered it but thought it would be too complicated for my child.

Why?

[Anonymous]

I was concerned he might not get along with the other child. I had concerns for myself, too. Like what if the mother met someone six months after moving in. Or was sloppier than me. Or expected me to watch her child because I work from home. Usual roommate issues, with a twist.

[Anonymous]

It's not a perfect solution, but I addressed all of the issues I was concerned about in the lease - no men, for example.

[Anonymous]

Are you talking about coabode or a female tenant? Two very different options. I would have considered a female tenant but my space didn't work. For coabode, I would have moved to a bigger space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you talking about coabode or a female tenant? Two very different options. I would have considered a female tenant but my space didn't work. For coabode, I would have moved to a bigger space.

How would that work on a rental home? Don't most leases specify a single-family live in the home? So two moms and 4 kids might not fly in most cases? I'd love to find another mom with a couple of kids and get a nice big 5+ bdrm home but couldn't qualify on my own, and figured there's no way a landlord would agree to two families living there. Though I suppose we could pass ourselves off as lesbians if needed!

[Anonymous]

I am in my own home, and I talked to coabode people and ended up with a single woman. I had enough room for a mom and child. Probably not more than that.

We put in the lease that we will have no overnight male guests.

If you stay in your current home can you share your room with your child and give the other bedroom(s) to another single mom?

[Anonymous]

OP has two school-age children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP has two school-age children.

If it's a private school, such as the Appletree schools I see in my community, they go from preschool through 8th grade. The kids could be any age or gender.

I got bunk beds for my daughter, a full on the bottom and twin on the top, with the plan that if necessary, all three of us - me and my two kids, ages 6.5 and 2 - would share that bed in a single bedroom. Not ideal or fun, but if necessary, it won't kill us.

It is true that a roomate can be an aggravation. Messiness, noise, schedules, etc. OP has to decide what her priorities are and go with that. More important to have your kids in a single family home, or in a small and maybe more affordable apartment?

I felt that keeping my kids in their house during the divorce was worth the sacrifices since their life was disrupted already, esp. the school age child. But if this roomate doesn't work out or I can't find another one I feel comfortable with, I am prepared to sell or even walk away from the house if I must. I've already scoped out apartments. They are not cheap either.

I really think coabode is the way to go. I would love to have a fellow mom roomate. My single woman roomate doesn't help me out at all. She's more of a tenant than a roomate. She doesn't rake or shovel snow or take the garbage cans in or out. (Sometimes an apartment really sounds appealling!) Can you imagine having a fellow adult you felt comfortable asking, "The kids are in bed, I need to get milk and bananas. Do you mind if I run to the store? Do you need anything while I am there?" Or someone who, if you got really sick, might be willing to drop your kids off at school. Or could stay home with kid #1 while you took kid #2 to the urgent care center. A mutually supportive relationship.

It's true that you'd have to watch out for being taken advantage of, i.e. your roomate over-relying on you for babysitting. I think if you tracked it and traded sitting hours that might help.

[Anonymous]

I'd love another adult around too but for every favor she did for you you'd do in return so what's the gain? And would she really rake the leaves? I would not! Yes it would be great if all the stars were aligned but I could easily see they could not be. Plus I'd have no privacy when I fought with my ex after DC went to bed!