Husband teasing young child

[Anonymous]

My husband teases our 5-year-old daughter like he would a sibling. It is making me crazy because some teasing is ok, but he pushes and pushes until she inevitably screams, cries, starts hitting him, etc. And then he makes it like she is doing something wrong by reacting that way. He just does not pick up on her cues that it's enough. I typically hear it from another room and want to scream (and often do). I have told him often that he is instigating her and to stop. I feel like I'm watching siblings go at it. It's not demeaning type teasing like insults. It's more the stupid no I'm not, yes you are, or taunting her by saying something like, "oh, child doesn't like brownies, I'm eating the brownie." I don't know what his motivation is, but I'm so over it. Does anyone have advice?

[Anonymous]

No advice, that is so...juvenile. Is he immature in other ways?

It sounds like you've discussed it with him to no avail. Can you try teaching your daughter to say, "Daddy, that's not funny; can you please stop?"

[Anonymous]

Sadistic prick.

[Anonymous]

I do think that some teasing can be good for kids—-it’ll come from friends/teachers/coaches and if your kid has been sheltered from it then they might freak out or be overly sensitive to it. However he is taking it too far if she’s crying! Can you sit down with him and have a talk about when he needs to stop?

[Anonymous]

I am a Dad of 2 young girls and have been reading this message board for 2 years and this is one of the most obnoxious things I have read. Please make him stop. This is not ok.

[Anonymous]

Saying oh kid doesn't like brownies / ice cream so I am going to eat all the ice cream is a very common joke between parents and kids. I think ever kid I have ever known has been teased by a parent / grandparent that way.

I think people are way over sensitive. You may have a different sense of humor (or no sense of humor) so nothing is funny to you.

Kids don't need to be given the perfect life - it is actually good for them to get a bit of teasing / good natured ribbing

[Anonymous]

My husband likes to tease our son too to the point to make him whine & tear up. Our son does not like him, and he is 3.

[Anonymous]

A little teasing is fine. Teasing that really upsets the kid is mean. If your husband can’t tell the difference he shouldn’t tease at all.

[Anonymous]

My husband is kind of like this with our 3-year-old. She ended up getting really attached to me, mainly because she just didn't want to be 'bugged' all the time.

She's starting to stand up for herself and saying clearly what she doesn't like. I think he's starting to get the picture, but annoying her is almost irresistible to him.

[Anonymous]

It will help you all if you can agree on (and follow) family rules around teasing. In our house, the rule is if everyone is having fun, teasing (also roughhousing, tickling, etc) is ok and fun.

As soon as one person says stop, it's over. But that's the lynchpin - the person has to say stop (this cuts out the whining and the confusion about who is having fun and if everyone is). Your husband has to agree to follow this rule.

For the record, this is the same rule my kids have at school with friends and it is also REALLY VALUABLE for kids who might be subject to abuse or other harm from adults. It tells them that their voice matters and that adults can't wield power over them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Saying oh kid doesn't like brownies / ice cream so I am going to eat all the ice cream is a very common joke between parents and kids. I think ever kid I have ever known has been teased by a parent / grandparent that way.

I think people are way over sensitive. You may have a different sense of humor (or no sense of humor) so nothing is funny to you.

Kids don't need to be given the perfect life - it is actually good for them to get a bit of teasing / good natured ribbing

I think I have a good sense of humor but this is not funny. It's barbaric. Kids / toddlers can understand much more sophisticated humor than this. Its obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

OP here - I do think some teasing is ok, maybe when it is limited. But I think my husband is taking it too far because he just keeps doing it. Our daughter is getting so frustrated and angry, and he keeps going. Like he is missing the cue that it has crossed from funny to upsetting. It is seriously like watching my nephews go at it. I don't know how to get him to stop when it's enough.

[Anonymous]

Can you intervene at the time "That's enough gang!"

[Anonymous]

Was your husband a bully or was he bullied? I don't know what would compel someone to keep going with behavior like this, it's unnatural for an adult to want to tease a 5 year old to this point.

[Anonymous]

Is he then actually eating all of the brownies, for example? That's really tormenting if so. I would be concerned. He needs to stop. Does he behave this way with you?