Au pair for a SAHM w/four kids including a newborn?

[Anonymous]

Would an au pair make sense for a family with one kid in elementary school, two in morning preschool, and a newborn? I wouldn’t do it if it meant the baby being with the au pair all day but I’m envisioning the au pair having like a couple hours in the AM while mom takes a nap then some form of divide and conquer in the afternoon for “big kid” activities, mom 1-on-1 time, mom making dinner, etc.

This may be our situation next year and I’m trying to figure out the best way of throwing money at making the whole thing less stressful.

[Anonymous]

Only certain au pairs are certified to work with infants, but even that is starting from 3 months. But I think for your situation an au pair makes a lot of sense to handle after school times and some mom downtime in the AM.

[Anonymous]

You can't use an AP for a newborn and the age at which the AP can start watching the newborn (I think) varies between agencies, so I'd look into that if you really plan to use an AP for maternity leave relief, essentially. But, honestly, I wouldn't want an AP watching my pre-communicative child in any case (even a "newborn certified" one, but especially a not-certified one).

For the rest of what you're looking for? Yes, absolutely.

[Anonymous]

Reminder - managing an Au Pair is also work. Some are better than others.

[Anonymous]

My SIL was in the same boat and got a nanny. Most of the time she left the baby napping with the nanny while she took the big kids to their daily things and played with them. The nanny thought that was backward, but SIL wanted to be with the kids, and it was really the baby's need to nap that had thrown the wrench in the works for her.

[Anonymous]

OP. Thanks, that’s helpful. At the moment we have a babysitter for a couple hours one day a week so I can take a kid to the doctor without having to drag everyone, go to the dentist, etc etc etc. I’d really like to be able to leave Future Baby with whoever we hire, whether or not I actually do, so it seems like an au pair is probably not the right choice. At the same time, I really don’t need 40 hours a week so I’m not sure I’d be a great nanny job either... Hm. What would you suggest?

[Anonymous]

Most au pairs won't (or can't) take on that many kids. Which agency are you using? The au pairs get paid the same rate so it will be almost impossible, if even permitted, for an au pair to take on 4 small kids. There's no incentive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. Thanks, that’s helpful. At the moment we have a babysitter for a couple hours one day a week so I can take a kid to the doctor without having to drag everyone, go to the dentist, etc etc etc. I’d really like to be able to leave Future Baby with whoever we hire, whether or not I actually do, so it seems like an au pair is probably not the right choice. At the same time, I really don’t need 40 hours a week so I’m not sure I’d be a great nanny job either... Hm. What would you suggest?

A mother's helper , teenage babysitter?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most au pairs won't (or can't) take on that many kids. Which agency are you using? The au pairs get paid the same rate so it will be almost impossible, if even permitted, for an au pair to take on 4 small kids. There's no incentive.

I don’t currently have an au pair. Nor do I currently have a fourth child. But we’re thinking about the latter so I was wondering if the former would make sense. Sounds like a no.

[Anonymous]

What about a live-in nanny? I'm assuming if you have room for an au pair you would have room for a nanny. I'm also assuming you pay a live-in less because you're providing housing for her...

[Anonymous]

Maybe a college kid who needs housing? She can take afternoon/evening classes and be available for you in the mornings.

[Anonymous]

I just can't imagine anyone would want this job. At all. It's the worst of all worlds, SAHM, unpredictable schedule, kids in school who there's little to no time to bond with (great set-up for defiance and chaos)...MAYBE a college student? But I can't see anyone sticking around in a position for long when their main purpose is to make sure you can take a nap.

[Anonymous]

If you have four kids at least the oldest and probably the oldest two are ready for preschool in the mornings. That sounds like an easier way of accomplishing your goals of having the load reduced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would an au pair make sense for a family with one kid in elementary school, two in morning preschool, and a newborn? I wouldn’t do it if it meant the baby being with the au pair all day but I’m envisioning the au pair having like a couple hours in the AM while mom takes a nap then some form of divide and conquer in the afternoon for “big kid” activities, mom 1-on-1 time, mom making dinner, etc.

This may be our situation next year and I’m trying to figure out the best way of throwing money at making the whole thing less stressful.

An au pair for four children! NO! Hire a nanny.

[Anonymous]

I would just hire a couple parttime sitters—maybe someone to do 3 mornings/week, someone else in the pm. You don’t have time to take on an additional teen/young adult.