Au pair for a SAHM w/four kids including a newborn?

[Anonymous]

Find a Nanny with school age kids who might want extra hours in the morning a couple of times a week.

I did this for years. After I stopped Nannying I did shift work so had 2 days off midweek. I found a job with a sahm 5 hours a week every other week. She could run errands, get hair done etc.

I also think an au pair would be fine if you have that much extra income. I would use them mainly in the afternoons though I think and maybe before school.

[Anonymous]

My friend’s Au Pair didn’t even have a driver’s license, and she wanted AP to do drop offs and pickups.

[Anonymous]

I had this exact scenario and an au pair was the perfect choice. What is particularly nice about an au pair is that the schedule can change so easily. My biggest goal was for the baby not to spend first year in car as I drove the other three to preschool, classes, events. It was wonderful not having to wake baby up from naps, not rush him through feedings. It also allowed individual time with the older three without feeling overwhelmed- and individual time sometimes was a project with the au pair. Some weeks I knew I had evening events and could switch up au pair’s schedule. I was already dealing with 4 personalities so the idea of having a stable of babysitters to take on extra nights on top of a nanny who wanted a M-F daytime inflexible work schedule just was not a good fit for my first 18m with 4. We had a nanny before and after this time (first nanny moved 2 months before 4th was born-luckily not a surprise!) I say yes OP-good plan

[Anonymous]

Are you a rabbit? Stop breeding. The world doesn’t need more of your offspring. Thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are you a rabbit? Stop breeding. The world doesn’t need more of your offspring. Thanks

Top ten all-time best DCUM replies. FWIW, I AGREE!

[Anonymous]

Why have 4 kids if you cannot take care of them as a SAHM? You are home to care for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had this exact scenario and an au pair was the perfect choice. What is particularly nice about an au pair is that the schedule can change so easily. My biggest goal was for the baby not to spend first year in car as I drove the other three to preschool, classes, events. It was wonderful not having to wake baby up from naps, not rush him through feedings. It also allowed individual time with the older three without feeling overwhelmed- and individual time sometimes was a project with the au pair. Some weeks I knew I had evening events and could switch up au pair’s schedule. I was already dealing with 4 personalities so the idea of having a stable of babysitters to take on extra nights on top of a nanny who wanted a M-F daytime inflexible work schedule just was not a good fit for my first 18m with 4. We had a nanny before and after this time (first nanny moved 2 months before 4th was born-luckily not a surprise!) I say yes OP-good plan

Four kids is too much for an au pair. What was good for you was that she was an indentured servant to your and your brood. Stop having so many kids if you can't take care of them. Get some birth control or keep your legs crossed!

[Anonymous]

Get a live in nanny/ housekeeper, someone who’d help you around the house and with the kids.

[Anonymous]

I know families with 4 or 5 kids who have 2 au pairs. Maybe that would work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. Thanks, that’s helpful. At the moment we have a babysitter for a couple hours one day a week so I can take a kid to the doctor without having to drag everyone, go to the dentist, etc etc etc. I’d really like to be able to leave Future Baby with whoever we hire, whether or not I actually do, so it seems like an au pair is probably not the right choice. At the same time, I really don’t need 40 hours a week so I’m not sure I’d be a great nanny job either... Hm. What would you suggest?

Could you do a nanny share?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know families with 4 or 5 kids who have 2 au pairs. Maybe that would work?

What? How would 2 aI pairs be helpful if neither can take care of the infant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you a rabbit? Stop breeding. The world doesn’t need more of your offspring. Thanks

Top ten all-time best DCUM replies. FWIW, I AGREE!

Actually, it’s quite nasty. The world needs more kindness, and it sounds like OP is a conscientious mother who loves her children enough to consider a fourth and also is thinking of how best to nurture them. Her children will model her kindness.

[Anonymous]

Live-in nanny. Paid for availability whether she’s with kids or finding something else to do around the house.

[Anonymous]

I would just get a part time Nanny instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you a rabbit? Stop breeding. The world doesn’t need more of your offspring. Thanks

Top ten all-time best DCUM replies. FWIW, I AGREE!

Actually, it’s quite nasty. The world needs more kindness, and it sounds like OP is a conscientious mother who loves her children enough to consider a fourth and also is thinking of how best to nurture them. Her children will model her kindness.

Thank you for saying this. I am honestly appalled at these "stop breeding" comments--what unhelpful, unkind responses. As a SAHM who is adjusting to my new normal of having three kids, I completely understand why the OP could use an extra set of adult hands in the house. It's only in the past few decades that women have been expected to raise children and manage a household without any additional help (and in most other countries, in fact, women do NOT do this--women of any means have help). Please understand that the task of raising children and managing a household is a great deal of work, whether you are a SAHM or not. Why begrudge the OP her very wise decision to ask for assistance? No need to criticize her or her reproductive choices.

OP, I wish I had something helpful to offer you, but I'm really only reading this thread to brainstorm ideas for myself. All the best to you and your growing family!