is it ok to be late to practice as a natural consequence?

[Anonymous]

Let me preface this by saying I’m clueless about sports. I’m an arts oriented person. My ten year old son is currently playing soccer. Practice twice a week.
Husband works late, I have two younger kids, so it’s a hassle doing practices. Carpool isn’t an option yet as he got put on a team where we don’t know anyone.

Typically I ask my son to get ready and if he doesn’t, I tell him to come get me when he is ready, which motivates him to move because he hates being late. So basically a natural consequence for him is being late. Today he was 30 minutes late for practice because he took forever to turn off the tv, get changed and get his gear.

He cried and was embarrassed about being late, so most likely this won’t happen again for a few weeks.
Is it rude to the team that we’re showing up late? Am I sending conflicting messages about respecting your team?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me preface this by saying I’m clueless about sports. I’m an arts oriented person. My ten year old son is currently playing soccer. Practice twice a week.
Husband works late, I have two younger kids, so it’s a hassle doing practices. Carpool isn’t an option yet as he got put on a team where we don’t know anyone.

Typically I ask my son to get ready and if he doesn’t, I tell him to come get me when he is ready, which motivates him to move because he hates being late. So basically a natural consequence for him is being late. Today he was 30 minutes late for practice because he took forever to turn off the tv, get changed and get his gear.

He cried and was embarrassed about being late, so most likely this won’t happen again for a few weeks.
Is it rude to the team that we’re showing up late? Am I sending conflicting messages about respecting your team?

Nope sounds fine to me- good job! In fact, i have a 10yo and may try the same- so sick of nagging him to get ready for baseball practice. He loves it but is sooo slow to get ready. I would not do it for a game (not fair to his coach Or his teammates)

[Anonymous]

Lame on your part. All the arts oriented crap and the younger kids is just an excuse. If you’re on a team you’re on a team. Don’t ask him to get ready. Tell him he needs to get ready now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lame on your part. All the arts oriented crap and the younger kids is just an excuse. If you’re on a team you’re on a team. Don’t ask him to get ready. Tell him he needs to get ready now.

You don’t prioritize this and he feels it. Which is fine but then you should join a lower key team.

[Anonymous]

I agree that you don’t prioritize it. You know how he is; yet you don’t start the process earlier or impose consequences at home. Instead you’re choosing to essentially also punish the coach and his teammates, which is unfair.

[Anonymous]

We have similar issue with practice. I started setting an alarm 15 minutes before we leave for DS to get ready. We walk out the door in whatever state he is in at said time. I don't really care if he has to practice without water/cleats, but did want to respect time frame...
I wish they only had one day a week practices!

[Anonymous]

Please don't do this, because:

1. It's rude to the team, and you should know this even if you're the most clueless, un-athletic person in the world.

2. Many children, even those without diagnosed ADHD, don't have the executive functioning skills to successfully time manage. It comes with brain maturity and each individual matures at his or her own rate. If your child, despite his obvious desire to be on time, cannot manage it by himself, it's cruel to let him fail. I say this because my child has ADHD, struggles with time management, and gets extraordinarily stressed out when he's late. Yet he needs help to be on time. If we don't help him, it's like telling a near-sighted person to read a sign at a distance without glasses - useless and unkind.

3. Buy a Time Timer, and if he's does start getting ready at a certain time, remind him. Do you have issues with time management yourself?

[Anonymous]

Just know that as the kids get older some coaches will not give as much or any playing time to the ones who show up late to practices.

[Anonymous]

30 min late??? Why bother going at that point?


You are full of excuses and as a result setting both of you up for failure. What do you mean you are "art oriented"? And younger siblings? Yea, that is like 90% of us and we all still manage to get our kids to practice. Husband is travels/works kate/otherwise of no help...yea, that is common here in DC. It doesn't make you an exception or give you sympathy.
He is suppose to "come and get you when he's ready"? Goid grief lady.

You just sound like you're lazy and wish your kid didnt play rec league soccer bc you have to put forth energy to make it happen.

Honestly, sounds like the apple doesnt fall from the tree.
How about starting with prep - cleats and shin guards ready, water bottle filled.
Hec, even have DS put on his cleats and shin guards on the car to save time. Load up the younger siblings with their toy bags. Give ample warning about leaving/dont start watching a new tv show, tell him you can record it to the DVR to hasten things along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So basically a natural consequence for him is being late.

Sorry, this is a natural consequence of YOUR behavior, not his. Get your kid to practice on time or don't bother. It's not fair to your kid, the coach, or the other players.

[Anonymous]

You don't need to be "sports oriented" to know you should be on time.

You're the grown up. Act like it. You wouldn't let him be 30 minutes late for school, so enough of that "I sit around and wait for him to come get me" bullshit.

"Am I sending conflicting messages about respecting your team?" -- you are sending a very clear message that you suck at parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Am I sending conflicting messages about respecting your team?" -- you are sending a very clear message that you suck at parenting.

And by that I mean, the coach knows EXACTLY who is to blame if a kid shows up late. Not the kid, but YOU.

[Anonymous]

You didn't want to take him and are looking at justifying it. He should not have been watching tv. You should tell him to get ready 30 minutes before leaving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lame on your part. All the arts oriented crap and the younger kids is just an excuse. If you’re on a team you’re on a team. Don’t ask him to get ready. Tell him he needs to get ready now.

You don’t prioritize this and he feels it. Which is fine but then you should join a lower key team.

Maybe I am misreading here, but this sounds like a low key YMCA type team to me.

[Anonymous]

He shouldn't bel allowed to watch tv until he's changed and everything he needs is by the door.