Tell parents of teen’s friends about transgressions?

[Anonymous]

When you catch your teen (15 year old) doing something wrong e.g. vaping, and you know others are involved, or you catch them together, do you tell the parents of the other kids?

[Anonymous]

If I have actual knowledge and I know how to contact the parent, yes I share facts. I dont speculate.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Always share facts with other parents. If you know something about my child’s potentially harmful actions, I will thank you for telling me!

[Anonymous]

Yes. Life threatening.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Be prepared for them to get angry with you (“Susie would never do anything like that! How dare you lie to me!”), but yes always share facts.

[Anonymous]

I would want to know.

[Anonymous]

We caught our nextdoor neighbor teenagers doing some dangerous things with other teens in their back yard while the parents were out. We broke up the party. Sent the boys home and gave the neighbor teen the option of her telling her parents or us telling. She opted for her telling. It worked out well and the teen came back to thank us for giving her the option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We caught our nextdoor neighbor teenagers doing some dangerous things with other teens in their back yard while the parents were out. We broke up the party. Sent the boys home and gave the neighbor teen the option of her telling her parents or us telling. She opted for her telling. It worked out well and the teen came back to thank us for giving her the option.

You are a fantastic neighbor!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We caught our nextdoor neighbor teenagers doing some dangerous things with other teens in their back yard while the parents were out. We broke up the party. Sent the boys home and gave the neighbor teen the option of her telling her parents or us telling. She opted for her telling. It worked out well and the teen came back to thank us for giving her the option.

Wow. I want you for a neighbor!

[Anonymous]

To the good neighbor: What were the kids doing? Jumping fro the 2nd floor into the pool?

[Anonymous]

YES on the vaping. Kids have been dying and becoming ill.

[Anonymous]

I have adult kids and a 17 year old still at home. My honest answer? It depends on the transgression.

Smoking cigarettes? No.
Smoking a little weed? No.
Cursing? No
Breaking curfew? No
Having sex? No

Drinking? Probably not.
Sneaking out? Maybe.

Vaping? Yes
Speeding or reckless driving? Yes
Vandalism? Yes
Using drugs (other than pot). Hell yes.
Drinking and driving? Abso-fukcking-lutely

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Be prepared for them to get angry with you (“Susie would never do anything like that! How dare you lie to me!”), but yes always share facts.

NP here. This is what I am wondering. If we are talking about the "my kid would never do that, I will instead blame your kid" types, is there any use in telling the parents? There are parents of a different culture that I know, where nothing is ever their teen's fault, even though you (and other people) know it most certainly is. These are the types of parents who end up suing other parents over their own kid's stupid behaviors. Sometimes there is no use in telling.

[Anonymous]

Could the kid suffer some sort of long term harm as a result of the activity? Or cause harm to someone else? If so, yes. You tell. If the parents react badly or choose not to deal with it, that’s on them.