Has anyone never gotten a babysitter for their kids
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Anonymous
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Just curious, has anyone never used a non-family member to babysit their kids?
My sister's kids are 1.5 and 4 and the only person who ever babysits them is my mom, who lives close by. She doesn't mind for the most part, and if she isn't free when my sister needs her, she simply changes or cancels her plans. My mom is coming to visit me and my family the first weekend in October, and my sister asked her to change the weekend because she and her DH were invited to a friend's 40th birthday party and they really want to go. I have already made some plans for when my mom is here and while I can certainly cancel them, it seems a little ridiculous to me that my sister can't just find a sitter for a couple hours so she doesn't have to inconvenience everyone else. My mom would need to change her flight (which my sister would pay for), and then she likely wouldn't be able to come out for another month given some other plans we each have. Am I in the wrong to think it's crazy she is even asking for this? We've had weekend sitters since our older was 6 months old since we have no family nearby and no other options. |
Anonymous
| I think that's insane, honestly. |
Anonymous
| It floors me that your mom is even considering changing her plans. |
Anonymous
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I wouldn't have non-family for a WEEKEND at those ages. But of course we've had many evenings out, etc.
But it sounds like maybe there's some anxiety or other issues you might not even know about; like special needs stuff for your sister's kids that you aren't aware of. At the end of the day, this is a decision only your mom can make. But you certainly can tell her, honestly, that you would think it very rude of her to cancel/re-arrange plans that you've thoughtfully made just so she can cater to your sister. |
Anonymous
| I don't thinks fair to ask your parents to change their plans but we have late elementary school kids and never used a babysitter. |
Anonymous
| Me. Usually my mom babysits. We have used non family sitters occasionally. I am not comfortable with non family members usually Bc my son is special needs and my two kids together are a handful. |
Anonymous
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That’s nuts. We didn’t use sitters for a long time. He was a high needs baby and most of the time, it just wasn’t worth it to us. But that didn’t mean anyone else was inconvenienced. We either traded off, brought the kid (as appropriate) or stayed home.
It is crappy to ask your mom to change plans, but your mom needs to be the one to deal with it. |
Anonymous
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We haven’t, and my kids are eight and ten. We do have a strong group of friends (with similarly aged kids) that we watch each other’s kids.
However, I would never dream of asking my mother to change her plans to come and watch my kids! It’s fine to just decline the party invite if she doesn’t want a sitter. |
Anonymous
| Your sister is too cheap to pay a real babysitter. |
Anonymous
| This was my family growing up and I can tell you that that as a kid it is stifling and aggravating to never ever ever be let out of the sight of parents/family just because my parents were clingy and controlling like your sister. Let your kids breathe a little and they just might develop some independenve and confidence. |
Anonymous
| Wondering if one or both of your sister's kids has sleep issues? I frequently read on this board of parents who sit in their kid's rooms or lay down with them until they are asleep. How could you explain these issues to a 14 year old sitter? OP, can you ask your sister what the problem is? |
Anonymous
| Cant the other set of grandparents watch the kids that weekend? |
Anonymous
This. OP is super controlling and it will negatively affect her kids. |
Anonymous
| We’ve also never had a non Family sitter and our kids are 4 and 2. But id also never think of asking anyone to change their travel plans for me to go out to a party. |
Anonymous
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My kids are in HS. We have never had a non-family member babysit them. It has been usually just DH and I. My mom was another person I have trusted with my kids.
I have left my kids home, when they were 6 or 7, with visiting relatives who were staying with us for several days, to make a quick dash to the grocery store or to a restaurant to pick up takeout. I just don't think that others need to babysit or take care of my kids. I have happily outsourced a lot of things, but not the care of my children. YMMV |