Best private schools in NYC?

[Anonymous]

It’s insane to think a tour guide and their personality will be well-correlated with your kid’s actual experience at a school.

[Anonymous]

Our Spence tour was fine, nothing memorable while our sacred heart tour was very welcoming and warm and showcased the school’s lovely facilities, some of the classrooms are cramped but the common spaces have some really beautiful architecture.

Chapin admissions staff was PHENOMENAL. They spoke directly to the applicants in a respectful and empowering manner and made each one feel seen. Our student tour guide was also so well-versed and attentive to our daughter. Her goal seemed to be not just to showcase the school but to make the candidates feel comfortable enough to ask questions. It left us with the impression a similar approach would be taken within the classroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s insane to think a tour guide and their personality will be well-correlated with your kid’s actual experience at a school.

I hear so many differing reports from the same schools that sometimes I wonder if the tour guides are a reflection of the school's initial assessment of your application - certainly admissions offices know who their better guides are, and while your standing on a particular day/week is not necessarily correlated with where you rank in the overall pool, nevertheless if there's a particular family or two they're most excited about then it seems likely they'd want to give them the best experience possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s insane to think a tour guide and their personality will be well-correlated with your kid’s actual experience at a school.

It’s just one component along with independent research, parent community insights, school reputation, test scores, observations of classroom dynamics on tours…I don’t feel like it’s insane to take the tour guide’s demeanor into account. These schools select tour guides from their top students so why wouldn’t prospective parents look to them as valuable resources?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:When we toured, Spence was always our preferred destination but the student tour guide at Chapin really won us over. She was so articulate, friendly and polite.

Spence actually had our favorite student tour guides - they were super nice but also very clearly smart and accomplished and were kind of showcasing the whole "what your daughter could turn out like if she goes to Spence" thing.

Our Spence's lower school's tour was led by a parent, she was amazing also. She knows the school very well and very articulate on their anti- clique culture.

We had good tours at NBS and Spence, messy at chapin and messy at Trinity. Just one date a point in bigger picture

Our Trinity tour was good despite having a very odd family on the tour with us - the tour guides handled it well and represented the school well.

The rest of the process there was not very good or professional. They treated us like second class citizens. We know a lot of people there but decided not to activate them as we weren't sure if we would attend if accepted (never call in a favor you don't intend to use), and we told them all what a poor job their admissions office does - I wonder if we would have been treated like adults if they knew we were pretty well connected. Being connected shouldn't be required to be treated decently - I know they get a ton of applicants but we were viable, with or without our connections, yet they didn't seem to care.

This year? We had a strange family paired with us on the tour but the tour guide handled it so well— it was truly admirable (the other family was borderline obnoxious). I found admissions really warm and loved that they gave applicants access to many current parents at all of the events. It was our favorite school process, followed by Spence. We won’t get into either because the numbers seem insurmountable. Oh well.

[Anonymous]

I don't think the tour guide or admissions people should be the sole determining factor. But it is all about marketing, and if they choose to put bad people out there, that says a lot about them. Most schools have kids apply to be tour guides and not all are accepted.

We had universally very good tour guides at the wide variety of schools we toured except one who wasn't great but who perfectly represented our pre-existing negative concerns about a school, so it was confirming.

I know of one admissions officer at a school who is particularly bad. Again, families aren't turning down the school specifically because of this person as your kid will never encounter them once they start there, but the fact that the school chooses this person to represent them does not reflect well. We have multiple friends who interviewed with this person and notified parents at the school about how bad it was and those parents reported it back to the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we toured, Spence was always our preferred destination but the student tour guide at Chapin really won us over. She was so articulate, friendly and polite.

Spence actually had our favorite student tour guides - they were super nice but also very clearly smart and accomplished and were kind of showcasing the whole "what your daughter could turn out like if she goes to Spence" thing.

Our Spence's lower school's tour was led by a parent, she was amazing also. She knows the school very well and very articulate on their anti- clique culture.

We had good tours at NBS and Spence, messy at chapin and messy at Trinity. Just one date a point in bigger picture

Our Trinity tour was good despite having a very odd family on the tour with us - the tour guides handled it well and represented the school well.

The rest of the process there was not very good or professional. They treated us like second class citizens. We know a lot of people there but decided not to activate them as we weren't sure if we would attend if accepted (never call in a favor you don't intend to use), and we told them all what a poor job their admissions office does - I wonder if we would have been treated like adults if they knew we were pretty well connected. Being connected shouldn't be required to be treated decently - I know they get a ton of applicants but we were viable, with or without our connections, yet they didn't seem to care.

This was quite literally our exact experience down to the odd family on the tour with us. Our interview felt so…unofficial, almost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we toured, Spence was always our preferred destination but the student tour guide at Chapin really won us over. She was so articulate, friendly and polite.

Spence actually had our favorite student tour guides - they were super nice but also very clearly smart and accomplished and were kind of showcasing the whole "what your daughter could turn out like if she goes to Spence" thing.

Our Spence's lower school's tour was led by a parent, she was amazing also. She knows the school very well and very articulate on their anti- clique culture.

We had good tours at NBS and Spence, messy at chapin and messy at Trinity. Just one date a point in bigger picture

Our Trinity tour was good despite having a very odd family on the tour with us - the tour guides handled it well and represented the school well.

The rest of the process there was not very good or professional. They treated us like second class citizens. We know a lot of people there but decided not to activate them as we weren't sure if we would attend if accepted (never call in a favor you don't intend to use), and we told them all what a poor job their admissions office does - I wonder if we would have been treated like adults if they knew we were pretty well connected. Being connected shouldn't be required to be treated decently - I know they get a ton of applicants but we were viable, with or without our connections, yet they didn't seem to care.

This was quite literally our exact experience down to the odd family on the tour with us. Our interview felt so…unofficial, almost.

would love to hear what constitutes an "odd family"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know of one admissions officer at a school who is particularly bad. Again, families aren't turning down the school specifically because of this person as your kid will never encounter them once they start there, but the fact that the school chooses this person to represent them does not reflect well. We have multiple friends who interviewed with this person and notified parents at the school about how bad it was and those parents reported it back to the school.

We had a group tour at Riverdale led by two admissions officers *neither* of whom was able to answer very basic questions about the school in anything more than a hand-waving fashion, and when we interviewed with one of them later it was clear they actually didn't know the answers and weren't just trying to keep the tour moving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we toured, Spence was always our preferred destination but the student tour guide at Chapin really won us over. She was so articulate, friendly and polite.

Spence actually had our favorite student tour guides - they were super nice but also very clearly smart and accomplished and were kind of showcasing the whole "what your daughter could turn out like if she goes to Spence" thing.

Our Spence's lower school's tour was led by a parent, she was amazing also. She knows the school very well and very articulate on their anti- clique culture.

We had good tours at NBS and Spence, messy at chapin and messy at Trinity. Just one date a point in bigger picture

Our Trinity tour was good despite having a very odd family on the tour with us - the tour guides handled it well and represented the school well.

The rest of the process there was not very good or professional. They treated us like second class citizens. We know a lot of people there but decided not to activate them as we weren't sure if we would attend if accepted (never call in a favor you don't intend to use), and we told them all what a poor job their admissions office does - I wonder if we would have been treated like adults if they knew we were pretty well connected. Being connected shouldn't be required to be treated decently - I know they get a ton of applicants but we were viable, with or without our connections, yet they didn't seem to care.

This was quite literally our exact experience down to the odd family on the tour with us. Our interview felt so…unofficial, almost.

Schools like Trinity get a lot of applicants who are chasing the big name but have no idea what they are doing or what it takes. The family we were on tour with was one of them. I kind of felt bad for them. But even families like that deserve to be treated with respect during the interview process. My child and our family (since it is still a lot about family) were not perfect, particularly since we didn't not notify them of our connections, but we definitely checked a lot of boxes and deserved a fair shake. Yet they acted like we were wasting their time the day we visited, were outright rude to us at another point in the process, gave us the C list interviewer, and asked our child a borderline inappropriate question I guarantee they did not ask more "desirable" candidates.

They didn't want us, we didn't want them, it all worked out. Good riddance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we toured, Spence was always our preferred destination but the student tour guide at Chapin really won us over. She was so articulate, friendly and polite.

Spence actually had our favorite student tour guides - they were super nice but also very clearly smart and accomplished and were kind of showcasing the whole "what your daughter could turn out like if she goes to Spence" thing.

Our Spence's lower school's tour was led by a parent, she was amazing also. She knows the school very well and very articulate on their anti- clique culture.

We had good tours at NBS and Spence, messy at chapin and messy at Trinity. Just one date a point in bigger picture

Our Trinity tour was good despite having a very odd family on the tour with us - the tour guides handled it well and represented the school well.

The rest of the process there was not very good or professional. They treated us like second class citizens. We know a lot of people there but decided not to activate them as we weren't sure if we would attend if accepted (never call in a favor you don't intend to use), and we told them all what a poor job their admissions office does - I wonder if we would have been treated like adults if they knew we were pretty well connected. Being connected shouldn't be required to be treated decently - I know they get a ton of applicants but we were viable, with or without our connections, yet they didn't seem to care.

This was quite literally our exact experience down to the odd family on the tour with us. Our interview felt so…unofficial, almost.

would love to hear what constitutes an "odd family"?

Not dressed appropriately. Knew nothing about the school except that it was really prestigious. Made no effort to make conversation or ask or answer questions throughout the length of the tour (the student tour guides did an admirable job of trying to include them but eventually gave up). Easily distracted by trivial things. Knowing the basics of how to behave on a tour is really not that hard. And they had no clue. They were not disruptive or rude or anything like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When we toured, Spence was always our preferred destination but the student tour guide at Chapin really won us over. She was so articulate, friendly and polite.

Spence actually had our favorite student tour guides - they were super nice but also very clearly smart and accomplished and were kind of showcasing the whole "what your daughter could turn out like if she goes to Spence" thing.

Our Spence's lower school's tour was led by a parent, she was amazing also. She knows the school very well and very articulate on their anti- clique culture.

We had good tours at NBS and Spence, messy at chapin and messy at Trinity. Just one date a point in bigger picture

Our Trinity tour was good despite having a very odd family on the tour with us - the tour guides handled it well and represented the school well.

The rest of the process there was not very good or professional. They treated us like second class citizens. We know a lot of people there but decided not to activate them as we weren't sure if we would attend if accepted (never call in a favor you don't intend to use), and we told them all what a poor job their admissions office does - I wonder if we would have been treated like adults if they knew we were pretty well connected. Being connected shouldn't be required to be treated decently - I know they get a ton of applicants but we were viable, with or without our connections, yet they didn't seem to care.

This was quite literally our exact experience down to the odd family on the tour with us. Our interview felt so…unofficial, almost.

Schools like Trinity get a lot of applicants who are chasing the big name but have no idea what they are doing or what it takes. The family we were on tour with was one of them. I kind of felt bad for them. But even families like that deserve to be treated with respect during the interview process. My child and our family (since it is still a lot about family) were not perfect, particularly since we didn't not notify them of our connections, but we definitely checked a lot of boxes and deserved a fair shake. Yet they acted like we were wasting their time the day we visited, were outright rude to us at another point in the process, gave us the C list interviewer, and asked our child a borderline inappropriate question I guarantee they did not ask more "desirable" candidates.

They didn't want us, we didn't want them, it all worked out. Good riddance.

Who was your C list interviewer? Jacqueline? We also had an odd family on our tour... wonder how they decide who to pair up haha.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not dressed appropriately. Knew nothing about the school except that it was really prestigious. Made no effort to make conversation or ask or answer questions throughout the length of the tour (the student tour guides did an admirable job of trying to include them but eventually gave up). Easily distracted by trivial things. Knowing the basics of how to behave on a tour is really not that hard. And they had no clue. They were not disruptive or rude or anything like that.

I'm a prep school + Ivy graduate and I've never worn a suit on a tour; I've seldom encountered an admissions officer or faculty member who was either. (I usually just wear a sweater or maybe at most a collared shirt)

As far as questions/engagement, we've been on some tours with families like that but as often as not it seems to be a comfort level or cultural thing; actually in a few cases my kid has gotten their kid more engaged than the parents seem inclined to be. I don't expect that most schools would count that against them unless they were disruptive in some way.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I know of one admissions officer at a school who is particularly bad. Again, families aren't turning down the school specifically because of this person as your kid will never encounter them once they start there, but the fact that the school chooses this person to represent them does not reflect well. We have multiple friends who interviewed with this person and notified parents at the school about how bad it was and those parents reported it back to the school.[/quote]

We had a group tour at Riverdale led by two admissions officers *neither* of whom was able to answer very basic questions about the school in anything more than a hand-waving fashion, and when we interviewed with one of them later it was clear they actually didn't know the answers and weren't just trying to keep the tour moving.[/quote]

Interesting - what basic questions couldn't they answer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not dressed appropriately. Knew nothing about the school except that it was really prestigious. Made no effort to make conversation or ask or answer questions throughout the length of the tour (the student tour guides did an admirable job of trying to include them but eventually gave up). Easily distracted by trivial things. Knowing the basics of how to behave on a tour is really not that hard. And they had no clue. They were not disruptive or rude or anything like that.

I'm a prep school + Ivy graduate and I've never worn a suit on a tour; I've seldom encountered an admissions officer or faculty member who was either. (I usually just wear a sweater or maybe at most a collared shirt)

As far as questions/engagement, we've been on some tours with families like that but as often as not it seems to be a comfort level or cultural thing; actually in a few cases my kid has gotten their kid more engaged than the parents seem inclined to be. I don't expect that most schools would count that against them unless they were disruptive in some way.

For someone allegedly so well educated you should know better about jumping to bad conclusions. And being contrarian for the sake of arguing. FFS.

Not sure of your gender. For a man, a suit or business casual is fine - suit is definitely not required. I've seen those who are professionally artsy types get away with something more casual, but it is part of their brand. Kid also would look ridiculous and overdone in a suit - I've seen it and it was dumb. The kid I was referring to was basically in sweats. I forget what the mom was wearing - it wasn't egregious and if that was the only thing wrong I wouldn't have noticed, but it was on brand.

Sorry if your "culture" doesn't teach you how to interact normally. By the time you are doing a HS tour, you should be at least halfway decent at that, or be able to fake it. Trinity has countless kids to choose from. Not their job to teach this. Don't have to be a superstar. Just not an outlier.

I'm guessing this wasn't a huge negative, but all things being equal, it probably didn't help.