Girls Soccer vs. Boys Soccer Parents

[Anonymous]

Am I the only person who sees a pronounced difference in tone and obsession in threads about boys vs. girls soccer? What is driving that? For vets on these boards, has it always been like this? I understand that people may think because the women's team has historically done well, the stakes are much higher for girls soccer in this area, but seriously, there are very very few girls in this area likely to make WNT or even YNTs or go pro. And if we are just talking about college-bound players, there are plenty on the boys side too. But I don't think we see the manic posts nearly to the same extent. The only explanation that makes sense to me is that there are a handful of parents who just happen to have girls who play, and that all things equal, the same mania would play out if there happened to be a few boys parents like this as well (or instead). Other hypotheses? Or is the underlying premise wrong?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only person who sees a pronounced difference in tone and obsession in threads about boys vs. girls soccer? What is driving that? For vets on these boards, has it always been like this? I understand that people may think because the women's team has historically done well, the stakes are much higher for girls soccer in this area, but seriously, there are very very few girls in this area likely to make WNT or even YNTs or go pro. And if we are just talking about college-bound players, there are plenty on the boys side too. But I don't think we see the manic posts nearly to the same extent. The only explanation that makes sense to me is that there are a handful of parents who just happen to have girls who play, and that all things equal, the same mania would play out if there happened to be a few boys parents like this as well (or instead). Other hypotheses? Or is the underlying premise wrong?

There is an end game that is more tangible in girls soccer compared to boys. Thanks Title 9.

Why don't you compare girls soccer parents to boys Basketball or football parents for a proper comparison.

[Anonymous]

Have a boy and girl go through rec and now 3 season into travel soccer, parents are equally overly exuberant. Boys basketball parents are much much more so.

[Anonymous]

Girls soccer parents seem to be a little nutty. Several threads going in circles about pre season scrimmages.... it's insane

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only person who sees a pronounced difference in tone and obsession in threads about boys vs. girls soccer? What is driving that? For vets on these boards, has it always been like this? I understand that people may think because the women's team has historically done well, the stakes are much higher for girls soccer in this area, but seriously, there are very very few girls in this area likely to make WNT or even YNTs or go pro. And if we are just talking about college-bound players, there are plenty on the boys side too. But I don't think we see the manic posts nearly to the same extent. The only explanation that makes sense to me is that there are a handful of parents who just happen to have girls who play, and that all things equal, the same mania would play out if there happened to be a few boys parents like this as well (or instead). Other hypotheses? Or is the underlying premise wrong?

There is an end game that is more tangible in girls soccer compared to boys. Thanks Title 9.

Why don't you compare girls soccer parents to boys Basketball or football parents for a proper comparison.

OP. Excellent point. Definitely maniacs there and in baseball as well. But again, aren't there as many boys who will play college soccer?

[Anonymous]

The cap is higher for girls, very little opportunities for the boys side given our limited success on the global stage.

[Anonymous]

Also, it might have to do with having a clear top league in BDA. With girls, it’s not clear in our area and some parents will make themselves feel better about their decision by putting down others.
Ridiculous, yes. But I think this will continue until we see a definite winner. I think that’s why the scrimmage scores between GDA and ECNL are bringing out such bad behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Girls soccer parents seem to be a little nutty. Several threads going in circles about pre season scrimmages.... it's insane

I wouldn't cite the pre-season threads as evidence of parental insanity. It is clearly ONE parent repeatedly asking for scrimmage scores while many parents have told him he is ridiculous for even caring or asking about them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only person who sees a pronounced difference in tone and obsession in threads about boys vs. girls soccer? What is driving that? For vets on these boards, has it always been like this? I understand that people may think because the women's team has historically done well, the stakes are much higher for girls soccer in this area, but seriously, there are very very few girls in this area likely to make WNT or even YNTs or go pro. And if we are just talking about college-bound players, there are plenty on the boys side too. But I don't think we see the manic posts nearly to the same extent. The only explanation that makes sense to me is that there are a handful of parents who just happen to have girls who play, and that all things equal, the same mania would play out if there happened to be a few boys parents like this as well (or instead). Other hypotheses? Or is the underlying premise wrong?

There is an end game that is more tangible in girls soccer compared to boys. Thanks Title 9.

Why don't you compare girls soccer parents to boys Basketball or football parents for a proper comparison.

OP. Excellent point. Definitely maniacs there and in baseball as well. But again, aren't there as many boys who will play college soccer?

There is far more competition for male soccer roster spots form international players than there is on the girls side. So, no, there are far fewer spots overall than for the girls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, it might have to do with having a clear top league in BDA. With girls, it’s not clear in our area and some parents will make themselves feel better about their decision by putting down others.
Ridiculous, yes. But I think this will continue until we see a definite winner. I think that’s why the scrimmage scores between GDA and ECNL are bringing out such bad behavior.

In this area ECNL Boys are a factor as well.

[Anonymous]

OP, I agree that there is a big difference on DCUM between boy parents and girl parents. In response to your question of whether it has always been that way, I think so, it's just for that many years we didn't have a separate soccer forum. What we had was just two massive threads on area soccer. This was the first, and later there was a part II added: https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/376898.page

The massive thread had a number of crazy, combative posters of the sort who were constantly making personal attacks against anyone who disagreed, and derailing topics time and again by trying to identify and defame other anonymous posters. Once Jeff created the soccer forum and there were threads devoted just to girls or boys, it became clear that virtually all of the difficult posters were girl parents--you could tell by their posting style, syntax, etc., and the way they continue to derail threads.

As to why there are more crazy girl parent posters, I haven't fully figured that out. There seems to be less of a difference in real life. I've known chill and crazy parents boy and girl parents on my kids teams and at the club. It may be that we were just unlucky to attract some nutty, insecure people to the site and they just never left because they always have found others to rumble with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also, it might have to do with having a clear top league in BDA. With girls, it’s not clear in our area and some parents will make themselves feel better about their decision by putting down others.
Ridiculous, yes. But I think this will continue until we see a definite winner. I think that’s why the scrimmage scores between GDA and ECNL are bringing out such bad behavior.

I definitely think this is part of the issue. If you are a boy's parent, the path is pretty clear. Your kid works to get on a DA team, then they work to do well there, and if they succeed, they will have a lot of good college options at a minimum. Not to mention the boys' DA is cheaper than regular travel soccer, and in some cases (not here, sadly) free. There's no real reason to second guess playing for DA if your kid is enjoying it, so there is nothing to fret about or feel insecure about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, it might have to do with having a clear top league in BDA. With girls, it’s not clear in our area and some parents will make themselves feel better about their decision by putting down others.
Ridiculous, yes. But I think this will continue until we see a definite winner. I think that’s why the scrimmage scores between GDA and ECNL are bringing out such bad behavior.

I definitely think this is part of the issue. If you are a boy's parent, the path is pretty clear. Your kid works to get on a DA team, then they work to do well there, and if they succeed, they will have a lot of good college options at a minimum. Not to mention the boys' DA is cheaper than regular travel soccer, and in some cases (not here, sadly) free. There's no real reason to second guess playing for DA if your kid is enjoying it, so there is nothing to fret about or feel insecure about.

Its cheaper?

[Anonymous]

I have a son playing DA and our team is NOT cheaper...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, it might have to do with having a clear top league in BDA. With girls, it’s not clear in our area and some parents will make themselves feel better about their decision by putting down others.
Ridiculous, yes. But I think this will continue until we see a definite winner. I think that’s why the scrimmage scores between GDA and ECNL are bringing out such bad behavior.

I definitely think this is part of the issue. If you are a boy's parent, the path is pretty clear. Your kid works to get on a DA team, then they work to do well there, and if they succeed, they will have a lot of good college options at a minimum. Not to mention the boys' DA is cheaper than regular travel soccer, and in some cases (not here, sadly) free. There's no real reason to second guess playing for DA if your kid is enjoying it, so there is nothing to fret about or feel insecure about.

Its cheaper?

Much, in most places. All the MLS team DA programs are free other than DC United and MN United. DC United is heavily subsidized for the older age groups, and travel is generally free. Bethesda DA has much lower annual fees than regular travel ($1,200 if I recall), and though you are on the hook for bus fees for away games and two showcase flights, those are all discounted. I'm not clear on the rest of the non-MLS DAs, but I believe most of the clubs attempt to keep costs as low as they can for players.