Taking comfort object away as punishment
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Anonymous
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Quick help us dcum- our difficult DD 4 took off her pants and underwear at dinner (egged on by big brother) and ran around shaking her hurt at us and interrupting dinner. She was told to stop, didn’t, kept irritating family and working up younger brother, and punishment for that is losing her toys she likes (baby stroller and babies). While these toys were taken away she taunted parent and danced with no pants saying I don’t care I don’t care. Parent said ok fine and told her she lost her snuggly favorite blanket (one of three loves) for tonight. Dd has been full on melting down for this punishment for the past two hours and bedtime is rapidly approaching. One parent says this is cruel punishment and to give in. The other parent is standing firm. Tell us what to do!
**blanket will return tomorrow , it’s not being thrown out. She has been told this. |
Anonymous
| *shaking her butt! Lol |
Anonymous
| I think it’s cruel. In fact in my previous job working with disabled adults taking away a comfort type item was a human rights violation that had to be reported. (I only know this because it happened) |
Anonymous
| Cruel punishment. |
Anonymous
| Too cruel. Also unrelated to her acting up. She’s 4, ignore her or move her plate to another room to show her that is not a way to behave at a dinner table. My son has ADHD and we have been through tons of therapy. Taking away a comfort object is an absolute no, never ever. |
Anonymous
| Make her apologize one change for blanket. |
Anonymous
This should say in exchange |
Anonymous
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This is fine as punishment. Maybe then she will learn. Not cruel.
I did it once and the behaviour never happened again. Child is now 12 and alive to tell the tale. Well, if she remembered she would be. |
Anonymous
| Do not give in |
Anonymous
| Put her pants on and put her in time out. And punish brother for encouraging it. Stop eating and deal with it. Be a parent. |
Anonymous
| Terrible idea. Comfort objects are really important for emotional security at that age. She was being silly, and rather than giving her a punishment that actually relates to the behavior, you retaliated by ripping away her security. This is just one episode, but if you keep doing this stuff, you’re going to crush her trust in you. |
Anonymous
Agree. Give her a way to earn it back. As a PP said it’s not related to the behavior and it’s also disproportionate. But you need to save some face here, so give her a way to get to a win-win for everyone. |
Anonymous
| When drastic measures are needed, I sometimes put comfort items in “time out” for 1 minute. That is usually enough to get their attention and get them to change their behavior. I’d never take them away for an entire night. |
Anonymous
| Agree with most that it is cruel and I actually had this discussion with a child psychologist and she agreed. My husband did this once when my DD was the same age and he immediately wished he could take it back but felt he had to follow through after meting out the punishment. We discussed it though and ultimately decided to explain to DD that it was a mistake, dad was wrong, and took something else away instead. |
Anonymous
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I think this behavior is concerning. My kids never stripped naked and shaked their private parts in an effort to "taunt" us.
Does she attend daycare or have a nanny/babysitter? I would investigate/ |