Taking comfort object away as punishment

[Anonymous]

I would not take this away. I’m on team cruel. I also like to sleep and think everyone would feel better in a calmer house. It’s ok to say that sometimes parents make mistakes. Come the teen years, that’s an important lesson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Terrible idea. Comfort objects are really important for emotional security at that age. She was being silly, and rather than giving her a punishment that actually relates to the behavior, you retaliated by ripping away her security. This is just one episode, but if you keep doing this stuff, you’re going to crush her trust in you.

Well said!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Terrible idea. Comfort objects are really important for emotional security at that age. She was being silly, and rather than giving her a punishment that actually relates to the behavior, you retaliated by ripping away her security. This is just one episode, but if you keep doing this stuff, you’re going to crush her trust in you.

Well said!

+100

Additionally, bathroom humor and laughing about butts is common at this age and will be for many more years. You really need to reconsider how you handle silliness and a better approach.

Taking away a lovey is a hard no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think this behavior is concerning. My kids never stripped naked and shaked their private parts in an effort to "taunt" us.

Does she attend daycare or have a nanny/babysitter? I would investigate/

Well, if your kids never did it, there must be an issue. Or...maybe other kids are different from yours?

[Anonymous]

OP, please take a parenting class with your husband. You guys are going way overboard here. You gave her a reaction (a big one!) so congrats, you have reinforced crazy behavior because it works to get a big reaction! And you have been doing it awhile if your kids have a name for it ("the butt show") and then now taking away the lovey...

SHEESH. These are kids, not adults. Your skills are lacking and you need to read up on child development. You can do better.

[Anonymous]

This was goofiness. How the heck to do you plan to discipline safety issues? You guys need to get on track.

Your Four Year Old: Wild and Wonderful
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B006Q1SR84/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

You need to up your game. You guys are on a bad path now, with handling normal behavior badly so that it becomes problematic. This is probably why you can't take them to a restaurant.

[Anonymous]

I posted at 009, I missed that you had given it back to her after she apologized! Good outcome.

I would make a plan to handle this stuff without giving her the big reaction she is looking for. It is normal behavior and her job to push the limits. It is your job to set the limits and enforce them. But how you do that - that is the thing.

I have definitely lost my temper with kids over stupid stuff before that I realize just made it worse in retrospect. But if you read up on the stages they are going through and why they are doing it, it is easier, and you will get strategies for handling stuff.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Also, I apologize for being rude, OP. I am sorry.

I think just read up on this age, even if your older son was easier or different in an easier way. Sometimes the younger kid is different enough that the old strategies don't work and you have to go back to the drawing board. Plus they egg each other on. The good thing here in your post is that it sounds like they have fun together and have a similar sense of humor now (even if it drives you crazy!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP this is hilarious! You were at home right? Not a restaurant?

This is small potatoes. Give her the object back, y’all about manners, make sure you praise her when she sits nicely at dinner tomorrow.

Girl you know we can’t handle these maniacs out at a restaurant after a long day! Yes we were home. This is not an unusual thing for my kids to do. They call it the butt show. It drives my DH crazy lol!

Well that's why your DD does it. It gets a reaction.

I would never take a lovey away for a prolonged period. I think a few minute "time out" for a lovey is nbd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is fine as punishment. Maybe then she will learn. Not cruel.

I did it once and the behaviour never happened again. Child is now 12 and alive to tell the tale. Well, if she remembered she would be.

Agree. Not cruel. She was acting totally out of line and defiant—repeatedly. That calls for an attention-getting punishment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cruel and abusive

As someone who works with actually abused kids, you are cheapening the term “abusive.” Please stop.

[Anonymous]

We don't take away the comfort object, but we take away another stuffy or treasured new toy.

[Anonymous]

OMG read a book on parenting! It sounds like you have no disciplinary tactics other than yelling/getting drastic. One parent too harsh, the other parent too ineffective.

[Anonymous]

I only take away the lovey in a temporary way. So if one kid is hitting the other kid with their lovey, it goes up high for a bit and then they get it back. Our kids each have a stuffed animal as their lovey.

I would never take it away at sleeping time because *I* need them to be cool in bed on their own.

[Anonymous]

Oh for heaven's sakes, your DD will not suffer psychological damage from losing her lovey for one night. She will probably remember this punishment for awhile. Kids can make you crazy.