Have you ever been in touch with an ex after years of no contact?

[Anonymous]

Are you M or F? Who initiated the contact, was it welcomed, and what eventually happened?

[Anonymous]

That is just stupid. No. Don’t do it.

[Anonymous]

Female. He did. It was welcomed. Contact was 15 years after we had last dated. We married a few years after reconnecting.

[Anonymous]

I’m a woman. Ex contacted me after four years. He found a work email through Google and sent a lovely letter-style message catching up. There was no good reason for us to be in touch, though. While the message was nice, I asked not to be contacted again because I neither wanted to rekindle things, nor needed a complicated friendship to come out of the blue.

[Anonymous]

Yes. One to apologize, in a round about way, for the way he behaved when I broke up with him (did not take it well). The other was basically trying to force his way back into my life - NO!

[Anonymous]

Female - a couple of times. The first was a very chatty email but once he mentioned he was divorced I started on my ‘nice to hear from you good luck’ reply. The second was a clear I’d love to get together on my next trip to DC. Thanks, no thanks.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Got a nice but not suggestive response back. He ended his response with an ellipsis which left some room for interpretation, I guess, but I let it go. It would have been wrong for both of us, so being assertive didn’t seem worth the risk of rejection or a good idea if welcomed (but the temptation was strong, to say the least)

Got in touch with another with no intentions and it was fun to catch up. We made good friends.

I wouldn’t want to hear from the other two main exes.

[Anonymous]

Interesting that all responses, with the exception of part of the last post, were men reaching out to women. What gives?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting that all responses, with the exception of part of the last post, were men reaching out to women. What gives?

Hard to know. People often switch up pronouns here to decrease the chance of being recognized.

[Anonymous]

College ex reached out to me while he was at a work conference in DC. Didn’t think anything of it other than it was lovely. He’s married, I’m married. He had broken my heart but we were both well moved on. We had dinner, my husband knew and didn’t care. And we moved on. If I were to be in his part of the world, I’d probably do the same.

[Anonymous]

Former FWB and I didn’t talk for years. Got back in touch when I became separated. Became FWB again. He’s a friend, sans benefits, now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting that all responses, with the exception of part of the last post, were men reaching out to women. What gives?

I think that one of the guys who reached out was trying to clean up past mistakes because he was in the process of getting a security clearance. It was totally unnecessary for him to do that, btw.

[Anonymous]

M and after ten years, she reached out after

[Anonymous]

Man, my ex from 15 years ago reached out to me and we got back in touch. It was both good and bad timing since my wife and I have been struggling and I ended up booking up with ex in a moment of weakness

[Anonymous]

Female- Happily married for 16 yrs. I plan to reach out to my ex bf when I go back home to visit. Haven't seen him 16 years, haven't talked in 6.

I have seen his parents a couple of times when I have gone back home, having dinner with them, my kids and DH.

My ex bf married a bit of a nut, it sounds like unfortunately and she is jealous even of his family (per his mum). So I wasn't surprised when I reached out to him 6 yrs ago to see if he and his DW wanted to have dinner/hang out with us and he said he'd check with her and I didn't hear back.

He was a really sweet guy and I hope he's having a great life. We dated for 12 years so we were really good friends but I knew something else was out there for me and then I met DH. I really just want to say hi/thank him for being a great guy. As my daughters and son grow up I really think about him a lot in terms of "He was a wonderful first love. I hope they find people in their lives who were as wonderful/amazing/trustworthy and as caring with their hearts".