Divorced but live together

[Anonymous]

DH and I need to divorce— too many problems for too long. But kids will be devastated if we are not together. We are considering living together at home but in separate rooms. Anyone has done it? Any suggestions? Thanks.

[Anonymous]

This seems like a bad idea.

[Anonymous]

It’s a recipe for disaster. It doesn’t teach the kids any5ing about healthy adult relationships and prohibits the parents from having any sort of life or moving on.

[Anonymous]

It’s been miserable for a friend. She had to put a lock on her bedroom door as her Ex had no boundaries. Her DS age 12 told his Dad he needed to leave as he couldn’t take the fighting.

[Anonymous]

This can be a short-term, interim step but eventually one or both of you will want to actually move on. If you’re in a high conflict marriage, skip this step altogether. Your kids will be better off if they aren’t hearing you fight all the time.

[Anonymous]

This was my DH's ideal scenario if we proceeded with separation/divorce. I thought it was the dumbest idea out of his mouth, ever.

[Anonymous]

Did it for 6 months while we worked on the separation agreement. I would not advise it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I need to divorce— too many problems for too long. But kids will be devastated if we are not together. We are considering living together at home but in separate rooms. Anyone has done it? Any suggestions? Thanks.

We have had separate rooms for 5 years. No impact on kids. But we are now finally in the process of getting a divorce. Plan to nest for a year or so. Will need to both have our own places eventually. They will have to adjust.

[Anonymous]

This is for you and not the kids.

[Anonymous]

Wasn’t this a sitcom with Jenna Fischer?

[Anonymous]

There is the way of keeping house. Kids stay put.
Parents take turns in & out of house.

Gives kids stability

[Anonymous]

I have a friend whose ex lives on the same floor of the apartment building. It's not a bad setup for kids. Very easy for kids to go back and forth, but parents living separate lives.

[Anonymous]

My ex lives in the same building. I almost never see him. DS goes to his place whenever he wants by himself.

[Anonymous]

Other than perhaps in the case of an affair I don't see how the same conflicts that prevent you from remaining married will enable you to peacefully co-exist in the same house. If there are conflicts regarding parenting methods those will still exist. If there are division of labor conflicts those will still exist. Conflicts regarding finances will still exist as well since you will have some shared obligations in terms of mortgage, utilities, etc. Obviously issues with alcoholism or drugs will also still exist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was my DH's ideal scenario if we proceeded with separation/divorce. I thought it was the dumbest idea out of his mouth, ever.

Because you'll still clean and take care of the kids. Smart for men, dumb for women.