Help! I think my DH may have low intelligence

[Anonymous]

It finally makes sense. He makes such poor decisions and has very little self awareness. He has always struggled socially and is good at his job but it’s not exactly rocket science. He cannot cope with pressure or simple life stress and self medicated with alcohol. He is a poor planner.

[Anonymous]

ADHD?

[Anonymous]

Why did you choose him?

[Anonymous]

Think how dumb the average person is, then think about how half of all people are dumber than that guy.

[Anonymous]

You are clearly on the dumb scale too! Must be dumber than him if you married him!

[Anonymous]

Sounds like a combination of ADHD (poor planning) and anxiety (stress). Meds work well for that.

My son and husband both have high IQs and AdHD. It cam totally look like stupidity sometimes! And yet, my husband has an MD and a PhD and is great at his job. Always disorganized and tardy, though...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It finally makes sense. He makes such poor decisions and has very little self awareness. He has always struggled socially and is good at his job but it’s not exactly rocket science. He cannot cope with pressure or simple life stress and self medicated with alcohol. He is a poor planner.

He maybe dumb but you are dumber for marrying him. Dumb and dumber, like the movie.

[Anonymous]

Ok? Sounds like there have been consequences for him. Is he willing to get help navigating those consequences? Can you tolerate these things? If no to both, this may not be the best match.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Plenty of smart people are socially awkward, poor planners, make bad life decisions.

You sound like a lovely person btw.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a combination of ADHD (poor planning) and anxiety (stress). Meds work well for that.

My son and husband both have high IQs and AdHD. It cam totally look like stupidity sometimes! And yet, my husband has an MD and a PhD and is great at his job. Always disorganized and tardy, though...

Some patience you have. I wouldn't care if he had 100 PhD's and MD's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a combination of ADHD (poor planning) and anxiety (stress). Meds work well for that.

My son and husband both have high IQs and AdHD. It cam totally look like stupidity sometimes! And yet, my husband has an MD and a PhD and is great at his job. Always disorganized and tardy, though...

Is he "disorganized and tardy" at his day job? No, just around the house? Then the problem is not some bullshit "ADHD". The problem is he does not care about doing things around the house because he knows you will pick up his slack.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why did you choose him?

Only dumb enough person to marry OP?

[Anonymous]

My ex husband was like this. I’m afraid my son will be as well. Looking back there were red flags. I chose to ignore them though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a combination of ADHD (poor planning) and anxiety (stress). Meds work well for that.

My son and husband both have high IQs and AdHD. It cam totally look like stupidity sometimes! And yet, my husband has an MD and a PhD and is great at his job. Always disorganized and tardy, though...

Is he "disorganized and tardy" at his day job? No, just around the house? Then the problem is not some bullshit "ADHD". The problem is he does not care about doing things around the house because he knows you will pick up his slack.

All the time. His colleagues have to adjust. DH and DS both have official diagnoses.
I have mild ADHD and anxiety, so I get it.

And as a scientist myself, there is no "bullshit ADHD". It is a lot more prevalent than you think, and it can have deadly consequences. When my son learns to drive, for instance, he will only be allowed to drive with meds at first, to make sure he focuses.

Everyone has their problems, PP and others. Alcoholism, depression, chronic physical ailments, poverty, unemployment, or worse, bereavement. We're all doing the best we can with what we have.

[Anonymous]

There are lots of stupid people in the world.