Help! I think my DH may have low intelligence

[Anonymous]

I'm do well at work, and well at school, but have always been "disorganized and tardy." Partially it's because I was never taught organizational skills by my parents, and have just recently realized I need to take a class to learn, it's just never going to "come naturally."

Not sure what makes me late in the morning, except for the chronic tiredness I experience as a night owl who can't settle down and sleep til after midnight.

Probably some ADHD going on too, but I grew up lower middle class and my parents assumed that was a bs diagnosis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a combination of ADHD (poor planning) and anxiety (stress). Meds work well for that.

My son and husband both have high IQs and AdHD. It cam totally look like stupidity sometimes! And yet, my husband has an MD and a PhD and is great at his job. Always disorganized and tardy, though...

Some patience you have. I wouldn't care if he had 100 PhD's and MD's.

If you had either a PhD or MD, you’d know you should have made them plural and not possessive. In other words, no apostrophes were necessary.

[Anonymous]

Intelligence is over-rated. You don’t need to be intelligent to live a good life.

Find a way to cope. You chose him.

[Anonymous]

Mine too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine too.

common sense is also an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Intelligence is over-rated. You don’t need to be intelligent to live a good life.

Find a way to cope. You chose him.

+1

MIL was not so sharp, and FIL chose to be home as little as possible, that is how he coped. FIL was very sharp, and MIL was well......not so much. It can be irritating in certain situations, after many decades of incompetence. (Different than the people around here who seem easily irritated, but have major anxiety.)

[Anonymous]

No one held a gun to your head and forced you to marry him. Who’s the dumb-dumb...?

[Anonymous]

He may just how low emotional capacity. Some view it as a strength, but it may not be working for him well here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm do well at work, and well at school, but have always been "disorganized and tardy." Partially it's because I was never taught organizational skills by my parents, and have just recently realized I need to take a class to learn, it's just never going to "come naturally."

Not sure what makes me late in the morning, except for the chronic tiredness I experience as a night owl who can't settle down and sleep til after midnight.

Probably some ADHD going on too, but I grew up lower middle class and my parents assumed that was a bs diagnosis.

Stop blaming your parents. Could be they don't have any organizational skills either. Or you ignored them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like a combination of ADHD (poor planning) and anxiety (stress). Meds work well for that.

My son and husband both have high IQs and AdHD. It cam totally look like stupidity sometimes! And yet, my husband has an MD and a PhD and is great at his job. Always disorganized and tardy, though...

I feel you PP. I mean really. We both deserve more than a man who only has an MD AND a PhD. I feel there's better out there. Don't you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It finally makes sense. He makes such poor decisions and has very little self awareness. He has always struggled socially and is good at his job but it’s not exactly rocket science. He cannot cope with pressure or simple life stress and self medicated with alcohol. He is a poor planner.

My spouse is high book smarts and very low common sense. I’d take the opposite any day. I fear for my kids all the time with him around. Plus it seeema hereditary as his father, uncles and brothers are all the same way. God I pray my kids won’t be that dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm do well at work, and well at school, but have always been "disorganized and tardy." Partially it's because I was never taught organizational skills by my parents, and have just recently realized I need to take a class to learn, it's just never going to "come naturally."

Not sure what makes me late in the morning, except for the chronic tiredness I experience as a night owl who can't settle down and sleep til after midnight.

Probably some ADHD going on too, but I grew up lower middle class and my parents assumed that was a bs diagnosis.

Stop blaming your parents. Could be they don't have any organizational skills either. Or you ignored them.

A combination, plus inability to teach well. I'm teaching myself now, so it's working out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ex husband was like this. I’m afraid my son will be as well. Looking back there were red flags. I chose to ignore them though.

My ex was super book smart, and had great jobs. In life common sense eluded him. Unfortunately after we divorced he didn't keep up his regular doctor/lab appointments. That didn't end well for him.

[Anonymous]

So you've known him long enough to marry him yet you are just now discovering that he has low intelligence. OP - I hate to break it to you but this would mean that you have low intelligence too if you are figuring it out so late.

On the upside you are two are made for each other! You can monogram your towels Dumb and Dumber. Congrats!

[Anonymous]

Does he like Trump? That's how you know for sure.