Do you hang out more with people who have same sex kids as you?

[Anonymous]

I have 2 boys and a toddler girl. When I had just 2 boys, I feel like we did play dates and made friends with mostly boy families. My boys never had interest in the girls in their class despite my liking some of the moms. I have one good friend with 2 girls and my sons never played with them ever. Her girls are super girly.

Now my big kids are in school, camp and have their own friends. My daughter now seems to get along with the girls better. My two closest SAHM friends both have 2 boys each. We will hang out by ourselves for dinner or brunch but the play dates occur less and less. We get invited to parties but that’s about it.

[Anonymous]

Yes. We have boys and only have friends with boys except for the random girl.

My oldest son’s best friend was a girl until HS but all his other friends were boys.

[Anonymous]

No, it’s been a mix. I have a boy and a girl. The main families with whom we hang out (moms + kids, vs a drop off play date) have the following family compositions:
-2 boys
-2 boys
-1 girl
-1 boy, 1 girl

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you excluded moms of girls until you had one, and now you're feeling excluded by your #boymom friends since you had a girl. Hard to drum up sympathy.

We don't schedule playdates based on sex. If anything I try to steer toward moms I like.

[Anonymous]

Well since I have both sons and daughters... we have friends with sons and/ or daughters.

Weird post.

[Anonymous]

I have two girls, and we have a mix of friends. They make it work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you excluded moms of girls until you had one, and now you're feeling excluded by your #boymom friends since you had a girl. Hard to drum up sympathy.

We don't schedule playdates based on sex. If anything I try to steer toward moms I like.

I schedule playdates based on who my kids are friends with. For my boys in preschool and elementary, they are mostly friends with other boys (occasionally a girl).

[Anonymous]

My oldest at 3.5 is a gentle (as in not your stereotypical rough n tumble play in the mud) boy and gravitates towards playing with girls but their moms rarely seem interested in making playdates. Most of our playdates are with moms who's first was also a boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you excluded moms of girls until you had one, and now you're feeling excluded by your #boymom friends since you had a girl. Hard to drum up sympathy.

We don't schedule playdates based on sex. If anything I try to steer toward moms I like.

Op here. I didn’t exclude anyone. Both my boys played with all boys in preschool. I can’t think of one girl they were friends with during preschool years. They are in elementary school now and still have all boy friends from class.

Both boys did have a girl friend in kindergarten but one girl moved and then we moved. At new school, they have all boy friends. Have not been invited to one play date with a girl since we moved to new school.

[Anonymous]

No, it's always been a mix. Now that they are past pre-school, the women I hang out with most do not have kids who are friends with mine anyway.

[Anonymous]

My kids are both girls and have always included boys among their closest friends. The youngest is now in MS and hangs out with the neighbor boy. Yes, it is 100% platonic. My girl is gay and they were both revolted at the idea when a visiting kid asked if they liked each other. It’s like siblings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you excluded moms of girls until you had one, and now you're feeling excluded by your #boymom friends since you had a girl. Hard to drum up sympathy.

We don't schedule playdates based on sex. If anything I try to steer toward moms I like.

Op here. I didn’t exclude anyone. Both my boys played with all boys in preschool. I can’t think of one girl they were friends with during preschool years. They are in elementary school now and still have all boy friends from class.

Both boys did have a girl friend in kindergarten but one girl moved and then we moved. At new school, they have all boy friends. Have not been invited to one play date with a girl since we moved to new school.

You didn't engineer their friendships ... shame shame... your kids will never thrive.

[Anonymous]

No, but then we didn't seek out playdates in the same way it sounds like you did. DD and DS1 are ~22 months apart and best friends, so we didn't feel the need. We typically do whole family get togethers with pre-existing friends and let the kids work it out. Never any issues and our kids play with whomever.

There's only one family we've really connected with through preschool, and they have two boys (same age as our oldest and youngest). Both DD and DS1 adore their older son, the two younger boys are thick as thieves, and we click with the parents. We also make a point to hang out with our next door neighbors, with whom DH and I really get along well; their oldest is the same age as our youngest, but we all hang out and make it work.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I have three boys and we seem to hang out with other families who have boys too. It’s mostly just who my kids want to play with, but, oddly, many of my close friends from before children ended up having boys like me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, but then we didn't seek out playdates in the same way it sounds like you did. DD and DS1 are ~22 months apart and best friends, so we didn't feel the need. We typically do whole family get togethers with pre-existing friends and let the kids work it out. Never any issues and our kids play with whomever.

There's only one family we've really connected with through preschool, and they have two boys (same age as our oldest and youngest). Both DD and DS1 adore their older son, the two younger boys are thick as thieves, and we click with the parents. We also make a point to hang out with our next door neighbors, with whom DH and I really get along well; their oldest is the same age as our youngest, but we all hang out and make it work.

+1 Kids get their own "friends" when they're older, but if you've been segregating by sex since toddlerhood they will follow your lead.