Husband ignores my wishes

[Anonymous]

Long story short, we have had an extremely rough year. Lots of arguments and back and forth. Last Sunday, I told him in a very calm way it is probably for the best if he looked for a place to live and moved out. He did not disagree with me (but to be fair he didn't say he was going to either). Since then he has been acting like everything is fine and normal. He calls me "babe" in his texts, gave me a hug goodnight, etc. This is a problem that contributed to where we are. He simply ignores that anything is wrong and wants me to just "be happy" and "get along" and "be lighthearted." How the hell do you just ignore that your wife told you that it's over and that you need to go?

[Anonymous]

Um, why are you ignoring that he ignored it? Speak up.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps if you are serious about the demise of your marriage, you should move out.

[Anonymous]

He's doing The 180 on you. It's obviously working and getting under your skin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps if you are serious about the demise of your marriage, you should move out.

For various reasons I can't do that and he knows it. It's not a matter of who would move out. It's a matter of him ignoring the very serious problems we have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's doing The 180 on you. It's obviously working and getting under your skin.

He is treating as just me being hysterical (which I wasn't at the time I told him what I wanted) which just pisses me off even further. I feel like I'm just pissing in the wind with him. Nothing I say is taken seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps if you are serious about the demise of your marriage, you should move out.

+1 The answer seems obvious here. If you aren't willing to make the move then I'm not sure why you would expect him to have to do it either. You're not his boss or his mother.

[Anonymous]

Oh, baby. I’m not ignoring anything. And you look fabulous today. You been losing weight or just always this thin and hot?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps if you are serious about the demise of your marriage, you should move out.

+1 The answer seems obvious here. If you aren't willing to make the move then I'm not sure why you would expect him to have to do it either. You're not his boss or his mother.

Again, the logistics are not the issue here. He is pretending like nothing was even said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps if you are serious about the demise of your marriage, you should move out.

For various reasons I can't do that and he knows it. It's not a matter of who would move out. It's a matter of him ignoring the very serious problems we have.

You can demand that he moves out of his own house? Girl you are in for a huge surprise. I’m sure he can come up with "various reasons" he can’t love out either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps if you are serious about the demise of your marriage, you should move out.

For various reasons I can't do that and he knows it. It's not a matter of who would move out. It's a matter of him ignoring the very serious problems we have.

You are the one who wants to separate, you move out. Period. Is it because you don’t make any money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He's doing The 180 on you. It's obviously working and getting under your skin.

He is treating as just me being hysterical (which I wasn't at the time I told him what I wanted) which just pisses me off even further. I feel like I'm just pissing in the wind with him. Nothing I say is taken seriously.

Honestly, you sound like a 16 year-old teenager whining about their parents' rules.

You are presumably an able-bodied adult. Make choices and take action in your life. That's what separates an independent adult from a teenager living under the roof of mom and dad.

[Anonymous]

You want to separate. You move out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Perhaps if you are serious about the demise of your marriage, you should move out.

For various reasons I can't do that and he knows it. It's not a matter of who would move out. It's a matter of him ignoring the very serious problems we have.

If he doesn’t want the marriage to end, it seems unrealistic to expect him to move out. This one is on you. If you want things to change, you have to be the person who makes the change happen.

[Anonymous]

Obviously he thinks the marriage can still be saved. If you don't, then it's up to you to leave.