Any Parents of young adults (in their 20’s and 30’s)

[Anonymous]

I am wondering when they or their circle of friends started getting married and/or having kids or just get their life together to be independent. It seams that my daughter and most of her friends just went back to being teenagers after graduating college (working, living at home, forgetting things like money when they go out, and needing a lot of guidance) and I am getting burned out with essentially 3 teens. Any one have a hopefully stories to share? Does it get easier?

[Anonymous]

- Make them pay rent. You can save that amount and give it back to them as downpayment help when they leave
- Make them do chores

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am wondering when they or their circle of friends started getting married and/or having kids or just get their life together to be independent. It seams that my daughter and most of her friends just went back to being teenagers after graduating college (working, living at home, forgetting things like money when they go out, and needing a lot of guidance) and I am getting burned out with essentially 3 teens. Any one have a hopefully stories to share? Does it get easier?

You rear your children to be independent. This is on you and your parenting or lack thereof My children know that after graduating from college they have three months to live at home and they use this freebie to find a job and their own place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am wondering when they or their circle of friends started getting married and/or having kids or just get their life together to be independent. It seams that my daughter and most of her friends just went back to being teenagers after graduating college (working, living at home, forgetting things like money when they go out, and needing a lot of guidance) and I am getting burned out with essentially 3 teens. Any one have a hopefully stories to share? Does it get easier?

I didn’t live with my parents after college graduation, but if I had they might have thought I was acting like a teenager. I didn’t magically start cooking rather than eating out, cleaning on a regular schedule, etc, just because I graduated from college. It was a slow transition over time to acting more adult. But I wasn’t living with them, so it wasn’t really their problem.

[Anonymous]

Ive seen parents downsize and successfully shake off their adult children. As a third level manager, if shows terribly which millennials are not living on their own. I've literally held up promotions because I've seen them drop trash, notice they dropped the trash, and just leave it laying there. Also, we keep a list of Monday and Friday sick days, it shows terribly which employees are not responsible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ive seen parents downsize and successfully shake off their adult children. As a third level manager, if shows terribly which millennials are not living on their own. I've literally held up promotions because I've seen them drop trash, notice they dropped the trash, and just leave it laying there. Also, we keep a list of Monday and Friday sick days, it shows terribly which employees are not responsible.

hey boomer sick days can be used whenever the f5^6 we want. Why don't you retire dinosaur

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ive seen parents downsize and successfully shake off their adult children. As a third level manager, if shows terribly which millennials are not living on their own. I've literally held up promotions because I've seen them drop trash, notice they dropped the trash, and just leave it laying there. Also, we keep a list of Monday and Friday sick days, it shows terribly which employees are not responsible.

hey boomer sick days can be used whenever the f5^6 we want. Why don't you retire dinosaur

No, personal days can be used whenever the f*** you want. Sick days are for when you are sick. And sick days are more disruptive than personal days because they are taken without advance notice.

[Anonymous]

My DD made the transition, but... we’re poor by DCUM standards. We could scrape together funds in a true emergency, but she knew upon graduation she could only count on us for health insurance, not housing nor car payments nor frills like a phone bill. She rose to the challenge. She was aggressive about getting hired somewhere and building opportunities.

My stepson is almost launched. He’s entering his last year of law school. He knows it’s the same deal as his stepsister. His undergrad loans were deferred so he’s motivated.

We have one more minor at home and she’s seen the trajectory. She also has a FTL male cousin and a disaster of a biological father so she’s attentive when we talk to her about adult responsibilities and decisions. Despite being the baby of the family, she had a lot of first child traits that will serve her well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ive seen parents downsize and successfully shake off their adult children. As a third level manager, if shows terribly which millennials are not living on their own. I've literally held up promotions because I've seen them drop trash, notice they dropped the trash, and just leave it laying there. Also, we keep a list of Monday and Friday sick days, it shows terribly which employees are not responsible.

hey boomer sick days can be used whenever the f5^6 we want. Why don't you retire dinosaur

This. Op, this is what you are trying to avoid with your young adult. This poster is an entitled A ... and would never get past my human resource office, hell I wouldn't even let them use the key to the restroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ive seen parents downsize and successfully shake off their adult children. As a third level manager, if shows terribly which millennials are not living on their own. I've literally held up promotions because I've seen them drop trash, notice they dropped the trash, and just leave it laying there. Also, we keep a list of Monday and Friday sick days, it shows terribly which employees are not responsible.

Some of us cannot downsize as our houses are small to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am wondering when they or their circle of friends started getting married and/or having kids or just get their life together to be independent. It seams that my daughter and most of her friends just went back to being teenagers after graduating college (working, living at home, forgetting things like money when they go out, and needing a lot of guidance) and I am getting burned out with essentially 3 teens. Any one have a hopefully stories to share? Does it get easier?

Two of mine are in their 20's. None of their friends are married. I think each knows someone who had an accidental baby, but not close friends. All their friends are in grad school of some sort or working. Some have moved home while doing that.

I think they need guidance with the big things, like buying a car. But not with remembering their keys when they go out or anything like that.

[Anonymous]

I wasn’t living with them, so it wasn’t really their problem

This. Op, it's not a problem if you don't see it, if you don't live it. If it doesn't live in your house. Besides, when young adults get into a predicament, it's their friends they call to ask, "what do I do about xx .. yy?" And then eventually, it's a spouse.

[Anonymous]

The 30s are considered young adult? Wow. Since when?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am wondering when they or their circle of friends started getting married and/or having kids or just get their life together to be independent. It seams that my daughter and most of her friends just went back to being teenagers after graduating college (working, living at home, forgetting things like money when they go out, and needing a lot of guidance) and I am getting burned out with essentially 3 teens. Any one have a hopefully stories to share? Does it get easier?

You rear your children to be independent. This is on you and your parenting or lack thereof My children know that after graduating from college they have three months to live at home and they use this freebie to find a job and their own place.

+1. I lived at home the summer after college and swore that it was the last time--I wanted my independence. Started grad school that fall in another part of the country and never looked back.

If you're kids aren't naturally independent at this point, you need to insist on it by setting a timeline for them to move out.

[Anonymous]

How old are your children?

What are they up to? Are they living with you?

Without details it’s hard to give advice. I got married at 26, had my first child at 30, second at 33 and think I’m probably done at 35. There are lots of people my age who have jobs/relationships/kids/etc.