How to stop being codependent on DH
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Anonymous
| I hate being alone and have a hard time doing things without DH. I know this isn’t healthy. How do I fix this? |
Anonymous
| Therapy, yoga, forcing yourself to be alone. Also, are you an ACOA or an abuse survivor? These tend to play into codependency issues. |
Anonymous
| Agree with pp. And if your codependency is the result of being an adult child of an alcoholic, I recommend attending ACOA Al-Anon meetings. |
Anonymous
| How old are you? DH? Do you have a career? Friends? |
Anonymous
| Is that what codependency means though? (Not being sarcastic) |
Anonymous
+1. came here to ask this. |
Anonymous
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Does he tear you bad and abuse you and you make excuses that it’s your fault?
Or do you really like being with him so much and hate doing things alone? That is not codependent. |
Anonymous
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I don't know if it's technically codependent but as you stated it's not good. Start small, find things you do enjoy like going to a movie or going for a run (or walk) and make yourself do it alone. Embrace the solitude and the opportunity to be alone with your own thoughts and your own good company and the pleasure you get from the activity.
Do this about once a week until you are more comfortable with it. If you ever do find yourself alone you will be so much better off if you aren't panicking over having nobody constantly there to do stuff with, that's a seriously bad frame of mind to be in after a loss. I can verify for you that once you get used to it you can totally enjoy your own company and the peace and happiness that accompanies it. |
Anonymous
| Do you make your own money? You need to be empowered. Were you NEVER responsible for yourself? You need to be. |
Anonymous
| What did you do before you met him? Is he codependent as well? |
Anonymous
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Being “dependent” on someone is not being codependent. Words have meaning.
https://psychcentral.com/lib/symptoms-of-codependency/ |
Anonymous
Bring your husband to yoga. |
Anonymous
| We usually say "codependent with," that's where the "co" part comes in -- both partners need each other. The need is not always healthy, however. People in mutually abusive relationships can be codependent. As others have mentioned above, there are also dependent personality types. This is a different issue. Either way, it's probably best let to a mental health professional to help you sort out. Determining the best path forward really depends on the underlying cause. The underlying cause often has to do as much or more with your past relationships as with your present relationship. |
Anonymous
| Start small and work your way up. So first, go to a movie theatre with him but see a movie without him while he sees a movie without you. Then, go run two errands without him. Work your way up. |
Anonymous
| Therapy to figure out why you can't be alone |