XDH owes child support...wwyd?

[Anonymous]

For the past 8 years, My XDH has been ordered to pay about $1,000 per month in child support. Over the years, he has missed a few payments. We are not on good terms, so I never questioned him directly as to why he missed the payment. Fast forward to now, he is almost $4,000 behind in support. Is this worth taking to court to enforce repayment?

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

Only if he has the money. If he doesn't have the money, don't waste your own on lawyer and court fees trying to get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only if he has the money. If he doesn't have the money, don't waste your own on lawyer and court fees trying to get it.

OP here. I don't know if he has the money. FWIW he does pay an extra amount each month to catch up on the arrears but it's not much extra.

[Anonymous]

If he regularly pays no. You will spend more in time and attorney fees. Ask him for it.

[Anonymous]

No. It's nothing compared to what he has paid. And no, it doesn't cost money. You just go to court and say that he hasn't paid x amount. It's up to him to prove that he has. Ours didn't cost anything. The court made him cough up the $300 cash he had in his pocket.
Why don't you just tell him he is a little short and ask him to pay $500 a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only if he has the money. If he doesn't have the money, don't waste your own on lawyer and court fees trying to get it.

OP here. I don't know if he has the money. FWIW he does pay an extra amount each month to catch up on the arrears but it's not much extra.

In that case, I would't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only if he has the money. If he doesn't have the money, don't waste your own on lawyer and court fees trying to get it.

OP here. I don't know if he has the money. FWIW he does pay an extra amount each month to catch up on the arrears but it's not much extra.

Don't bother. Are you getting any tax refunds that have been withheld from him? Other than that, there isn't much more to be done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only if he has the money. If he doesn't have the money, don't waste your own on lawyer and court fees trying to get it.

OP here. I don't know if he has the money. FWIW he does pay an extra amount each month to catch up on the arrears but it's not much extra.

He pays a good amount for child support each month. He's trying to pay it back. Why give him a hard time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only if he has the money. If he doesn't have the money, don't waste your own on lawyer and court fees trying to get it.

OP here. I don't know if he has the money. FWIW he does pay an extra amount each month to catch up on the arrears but it's not much extra.

He pays a good amount for child support each month. He's trying to pay it back. Why give him a hard time?

because he didn't meet his commitment and she needs the money. jeez people. not everyone can afford to be super-charitable about $4000.

[Anonymous]

Because states had to set up state level child support enforcement to qualify for funding under whatever title of the social security act (I think) covers child welfare stuff, the state enforcement people will pursue enforcement--I'm sure even if the money isn't owed to the state (such as in the case of children who have received TANF funds). Which is one reason non-custodial parents should never pay the custodial parent directly--such payments may not be recognized.

Also, uncollectible child support is sometimes enforced by the federal government if the custodial parent is in another state (I know this from federal jury duty).

[Anonymous]

If you can afford not to ask him for the money then don't. If you need the money then go to the court house. If you're not on good terms attempting to talk to him first may not go well...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because states had to set up state level child support enforcement to qualify for funding under whatever title of the social security act (I think) covers child welfare stuff, the state enforcement people will pursue enforcement--I'm sure even if the money isn't owed to the state (such as in the case of children who have received TANF funds). Which is one reason non-custodial parents should never pay the custodial parent directly--such payments may not be recognized.

Also, uncollectible child support is sometimes enforced by the federal government if the custodial parent is in another state (I know this from federal jury duty).

As long as they are documented, they should be recognized. A parent should not give the other parent cash but if they pay by check, especially if they put that month and child support in the memo it should be fine. My husband's ex took him to court saying that he never paid to get a garnishment (he would have given her one no issue so he didn't have to deal with her) and she claimed he paid nothing and instead he had a $40K overpayment with all the extra's and other demands. They didn't return the money to him and she got the garnishment and child support heavily reduced for other reasons (kids aged out/alimony over several years before that he continued to pay) but it was absolutely recognized. She was really pissed about the garnishment but didn't want to spend the money to go to court to get it removed. She was used him paying at the beginning of the month and going through child support took 2 weeks, sometimes longer to get the check. A few times it didn't come and was garnished so she'd call demanding the money and he said no as it was already garnished so she had to deal with child support. Be careful what you ask for as it could backfire.

In OP case, by the time she misses work, attorney fees it makes no sense as he is paying it back but slowly. The court will probably put him on a payment plan so she's wasting money with two attorneys or if he has to hire an attorney that money he is spending on an attorney is better spent paying her back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because states had to set up state level child support enforcement to qualify for funding under whatever title of the social security act (I think) covers child welfare stuff, the state enforcement people will pursue enforcement--I'm sure even if the money isn't owed to the state (such as in the case of children who have received TANF funds). Which is one reason non-custodial parents should never pay the custodial parent directly--such payments may not be recognized.

Also, uncollectible child support is sometimes enforced by the federal government if the custodial parent is in another state (I know this from federal jury duty).

As long as they are documented, they should be recognized. A parent should not give the other parent cash but if they pay by check, especially if they put that month and child support in the memo it should be fine. My husband's ex took him to court saying that he never paid to get a garnishment (he would have given her one no issue so he didn't have to deal with her) and she claimed he paid nothing and instead he had a $40K overpayment with all the extra's and other demands. They didn't return the money to him and she got the garnishment and child support heavily reduced for other reasons (kids aged out/alimony over several years before that he continued to pay) but it was absolutely recognized. She was really pissed about the garnishment but didn't want to spend the money to go to court to get it removed. She was used him paying at the beginning of the month and going through child support took 2 weeks, sometimes longer to get the check. A few times it didn't come and was garnished so she'd call demanding the money and he said no as it was already garnished so she had to deal with child support. Be careful what you ask for as it could backfire.

In OP case, by the time she misses work, attorney fees it makes no sense as he is paying it back but slowly. The court will probably put him on a payment plan so she's wasting money with two attorneys or if he has to hire an attorney that money he is spending on an attorney is better spent paying her back.

You guys are both really muddying up this issue. If there is a DCSE case (i.e. CS is paid to the state) then no, payments to the custodial parents other than through DCSE will not be recognized because you are paying in a way that is not set forth in the order (i.e. either income withholding or checks made payable to the state).

[Anonymous]

What state? Does he pay you directly or through the state enforcement office?