DH doesn’t think this is a bad idea

[Anonymous]

Some good friends invited us and a another family (we are all friends) to join them in Maine the week before Labor Day. Their family has a massive house there. The friends who invited us have a 7 year old and 5 year old. The other family has 6 and 8 year olds. We have a 5 year old and a 1 year old.

DH really wants to go and thinks we would be crazy to say no. But I am really worried that most of the activities and plans won’t be so great for a one year old who naps twice a day and goes to bed at 7. We would not be staying in the main house - they have a guest house on the property but it’s not right behind so my fear is that I will end up there myself half the time with the baby. The friends have been talking about their Maine trips for years and how they spend all day at the beach or on the boat, which just isn’t going to work for a one year old.

Would you go or decline? DH thinks I need to suck it up and that it will be super fun. I think it will be really challenging.

[Anonymous]

You’re both right.

The trip will be super fun for the parent who gets to supervise the 5 year old - AND it will be super lame for the parent who has to supervise the 1 year old.

[Anonymous]

I agree, doesn't sound like fun. However if he's that insistent on it I would agree to go under the agreement that HE will be the one staying behind while 1 yo naps.

[Anonymous]

I would agree to go if DH agrees to be the one to stay behind with the 1 year old. If not, ask about joining them in a few years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree, doesn't sound like fun. However if he's that insistent on it I would agree to go under the agreement that HE will be the one staying behind while 1 yo naps.

Share the days?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree, doesn't sound like fun. However if he's that insistent on it I would agree to go under the agreement that HE will be the one staying behind while 1 yo naps.

Share the days?

Want to add that a few days of sitting in Maine with a book while a baby naps sounds pretty good.

Also if they go allthe time maybe they know someone who knows a sitter

[Anonymous]

I would go and split the days with DH as far as who gets to do the activities. I would also be ok with my 1yo having the occasional nap in a stroller if walking somewhere, or in the car if need be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would go and split the days with DH as far as who gets to do the activities. I would also be ok with my 1yo having the occasional nap in a stroller if walking somewhere, or in the car if need be.

This. I wouldn't want to make everyone miss out on a fun vacation just because you have a baby. And this is pretty much the easiest, lowest-key vacation so it's perfect. DH has to agree that he covers some of the staying home with baby time. And, if you're friends with the other two couples, I think it's fine to plan a day that the guys take the kids to the beach and the women stay home and have a girls day while the baby naps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would go and split the days with DH as far as who gets to do the activities. I would also be ok with my 1yo having the occasional nap in a stroller if walking somewhere, or in the car if need be.

This. I wouldn't want to make everyone miss out on a fun vacation just because you have a baby. And this is pretty much the easiest, lowest-key vacation so it's perfect. DH has to agree that he covers some of the staying home with baby time. And, if you're friends with the other two couples, I think it's fine to plan a day that the guys take the kids to the beach and the women stay home and have a girls day while the baby naps.

By everyone, I mean everyone in your family--not that I'd expect the other couples to not go if you don't!

[Anonymous]

I’d go in a heartbeat. AND I’d work it out very explicitly with my spouse: Odd numbered days, I take the day nap coverage and you take the bedtime coverage. Even number days, you take the nap coverage and I take the bedtime. Make sure he signs off on that—no “Yeah, yeah we’ll figure it out when we get there...” Sign off before you go. Of course you may need to adjust when you get there. But that’s different than figuring it out there.

[Anonymous]

Id go in a heart beat. We've been doing similar things since ds was 5 months old. Youd be surprised how nice it is to sit and read while D s naps. You can split the naps, bring a tent (DS napped on the beach) etc. You may be surprised how much fun you have. Plus, if these are good friends they may make sure you and Dh get some time alone too

[Anonymous]

I’d also go. But then we were/are the type of family that never really slowed down for the baby. I would hate for my older kid to miss out on fun times.

[Anonymous]

I would go, and split the days with DH. And, I would take baby out on the boat (after taking dramamine, because I get I credibly sea sick), but I bet baby likes the rocking and spends most of the time nursing or asleep. Same for the beach if you have a shade tent - bring the baby, and a monitor for when you put baby to bed at 7:00 and hang out with all the adults and big kids at the main house....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d also go. But then we were/are the type of family that never really slowed down for the baby. I would hate for my older kid to miss out on fun times.

This. I can't imagine completely missing out on life for years because of naps.

[Anonymous]

Maine is perfect for a one year old. Does dB nap in a stroller or on a blanket? Honestly go, eat lobster rolls, take walks, sit on the beach with a book and napping baby. Sounds like heaven.