Managing a vacation house with relatives

[Anonymous]

We are considering buying a vacation house in a popular lake/skiing location. We've researched this and it is a good investment. The area rents out very well. Its an area where we like to vacation. Its large enough to host multiple families and we like the idea of hosting family get togethers up there. It may also be somewhere where DH and would retire.

The only wrinkle is that we have some overbearing and pushy relatives who will jump on this. This will be their new go to vacation spot. They are cheap and mooch. They do not respect boundaries. They will sniff out whenever another family stays with us and then push that they get next dibs.

How do I keep these relatives at arms length while inviting and welcoming the normal ones to stay with us?

[Anonymous]

JUST SAY NO

[Anonymous]

NO NO NO!!! This will never end well and you know it.

[Anonymous]

NO NO NO!!! This will never end well and you know it.

OP here. I know but it is driving me crazy because this would be great if it weren't for the obnoxious relatives. We're on the fence between passing on this because of them and then thinking we should let these people keep us from doing something that we want to do.

[Anonymous]

Why do you need to tell them you are purchasing this house? I don’t get why your personal, financial information is their business to begin with?


If they do find out and ask — “no” and “that doesn’t work for us”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

NO NO NO!!! This will never end well and you know it.

OP here. I know but it is driving me crazy because this would be great if it weren't for the obnoxious relatives. We're on the fence between passing on this because of them and then thinking we should let these people keep us from doing something that we want to do.

Why not buy it and not let anyone know that you own it? When you go vacation just say "we rented a house for a week and want you to join us."

[Anonymous]

Yeah, does anyone need to know that you own the house? Even the relatives you invite there? They could think you're just fond of renting the same house. Unless you plan on putting personal photos up all over the place or something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, does anyone need to know that you own the house? Even the relatives you invite there? They could think you're just fond of renting the same house. Unless you plan on putting personal photos up all over the place or something.

You shouldn't do this anyway if you plan to rent the place out.

[Anonymous]

We're dealing with some of this right now. Also knew beforehand that one set of relatives would be problems but decided to forge ahead anyway. Lo and behold some of the mooch behavior started almost right away. The sense of entitlement was breathtaking. We said no once and it created bad blood. It was very unpleasant to deal with that kind of attitude. Our quasi solution is to have the place always rented out or occupied. But it's not a forever solution.

My advice is to get a place just big enough for your own use. If you like to host and want a bigger place, then be prepared for those relatives to pounce.

[Anonymous]

OP here. It sounds like we will have to just prepare to get into a conflict with them. Ugh.

My neighbor is dealing with something similar with another neighbor. She recently put in a pool. The pushy neighbor immediately started inviting herself or her kids over. She would call telling the pool owner "Hello! Charlie woke up and said that he really wanted to swim in your pool. What time should we come over" or "Hey its so hot how about a pool day?" My neighbor started to try to lie saying they couldn't do it that day because they were going somewhere to which the pushy neighbor replied that it was "No problem, we'll just let ourselves in, Just leave the gate unlocked." Pushy neighbor is now complaining to anyone who will not run away about how stand offish and unsocial pool neighbor behaves.

[Anonymous]

Yep, the only way to deal with it is to grow thicker skin and be prepared to be bad-mouthed by the relatives to anyone who'd listen.

[Anonymous]

Buy your vacation home if you want to and DO NOT mention it to your relatives. If you ever invite them to stay with you, refer to it as your "friend's timeshare" that he is allowing you to "borrow".

Do not think that you are going to want to retire in an ice and snow environment, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It sounds like we will have to just prepare to get into a conflict with them. Ugh.

My neighbor is dealing with something similar with another neighbor. She recently put in a pool. The pushy neighbor immediately started inviting herself or her kids over. She would call telling the pool owner "Hello! Charlie woke up and said that he really wanted to swim in your pool. What time should we come over" or "Hey its so hot how about a pool day?" My neighbor started to try to lie saying they couldn't do it that day because they were going somewhere to which the pushy neighbor replied that it was "No problem, we'll just let ourselves in, Just leave the gate unlocked." Pushy neighbor is now complaining to anyone who will not run away about how stand offish and unsocial pool neighbor behaves.

As a pool owner, myself, this situation is absolutely ridiculous. Where on earth do people like that get off?

[Anonymous]

They aren’t going to fund it or be equity owners right? Then they can pay market or slight friends and daily discount for non Grigg season.

The only way our park city home makes sense to buy or keep is with solid rental income. Just say that. Or ignore them

[Anonymous]

Friends and family discount is for only non high season