Tired of sleepovers

[Anonymous]

I have two kiddos- one 14 and 11- but the 14 year old is also working a “sleepover” and I am so tired of it. I hate sleepovers. The pain of kids running in and out negotiating whose house- the late night scramble get clothes, sleeping bag and then the crabby next day due to no sleep.
I’ve tried setting rules- no sleepovers without 24 hour notice- 2 sleepovers a month- etc but then the nightly begging begins.
Does anyone else hate them and how do you manage them and limit their intrusion.

[Anonymous]

Just say no. How hard is it? Do not ask more than twice a month or you lose that privilege as well.

[Anonymous]

My kids are the same age, and that's not how ours go. They are planned in advance if it's multiple girls. Occasionally one girl will sleep over and that won't be planned until dinner, but that's a few times a year.

And they get sleep - I will go in around midnight and tell them to be quiet and go to sleep. My kids are not a mess the day after a sleepover - if they were, I wouldn't allow them.

There is zero begging. When I say no, the girls know that's the final answer. If I said no, and they kept asking, they'd get punished and they know that.

[Anonymous]

I think if it involves a late night scramble for anything, it's easier to just say no.

[Anonymous]

Sleepovers pretty much die out in high school. They either lose interest or are too busy with school related activities like school work, sports community service, etc.

[Anonymous]

I flat out say no often now and stop allowing them then at our house. DD’s usually happened like OP described with last minute begging, scramble and the other parent checking in with me to say they don’t mind. The girls don’t settle down at midnight and are not loud but quietly talk all night even if lights are out and the next day is horrible. Every few months she can plan one in advance here and I like her to do it when she has something the next day to go to that’s not too important. It’s a reminder to not stay up all night since she has to be at the game at 10.

[Anonymous]

My HS kid and group of 4 boys are constantly at one house or another, and sleep overs planned at the last minute. Why does this bother you so much? Let go and let them make their own plans - as long as you touch base with and know/trust the parents and the kids, it's fine. Freeing actually, because they are finally in charge of their own schedules instead of you. MS daughter does the same. Every once in a while they both and up sleeping over and DH and I have our own date night! More often, as soon as one finds out the other won't be home, the sleep over for the other is at our home...

[Anonymous]

I’d say no now and set an expectation. I learned the hard way that sleepovers do not end in high school as previous poster said, rather they pick up as partying and other stuff comes into the picture. PS these are kids from good families, great grades, excellent athletes.

[Anonymous]

I feel the same way. Only my biggest problem is the drama that happens during sleepovers with my 10 year old. One of her friend’s especially likes to create frame— leaving someone out, writing mean notes, playing cruel tricks, and she does not listen to my house rules. There are a couple other girls who are much more well behaved, and I don’t mind them sleeping over. But when this girl comes over it’s like an episode of the real housewives! No thank you!

[Anonymous]

Create drama

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My HS kid and group of 4 boys are constantly at one house or another, and sleep overs planned at the last minute. Why does this bother you so much? Let go and let them make their own plans - as long as you touch base with and know/trust the parents and the kids, it's fine. Freeing actually, because they are finally in charge of their own schedules instead of you. MS daughter does the same. Every once in a while they both and up sleeping over and DH and I have our own date night! More often, as soon as one finds out the other won't be home, the sleep over for the other is at our home...

Same. My teen didnt do sleepovers at all in 9th grade and I thought whew, they outgrew it! This summer BAM - 4 boys all the time. They get up early to go to work or drivers ed or sports and repeat. Two have girlfriends who leave at a normal hour. No coed sleepovers but boys are facetiming with them and their friends until 1 am and then pass out. Thankfully by HS they are great at keeping things neat, wet towels are washed and dried and while I have lots of ready to go food/snacks they help themselves and load dishwasher etc. And when the girls are here they bake lol. I get to indulge and girls give me the gossip. So, there's an upside!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sleepovers pretty much die out in high school. They either lose interest or are too busy with school related activities like school work, sports community service, etc.

That was not my experience with my two kids who are now in their mid 20's. Tons of sleepovers on weekends. Sometimes during midterms or finals, the kids would stay up late studying together and then have a sleepover just so they didn't have to waste time going home.

We have a basket of new toothbrushes under the sink, and another basket of bath products (face wash, sunscreen, tampons, travel shampoo, etc.) so if a kid slept over without advance planning it wasn't a big deal.

[Anonymous]

I guess what I don’t like is the last minute out on spot trying to figure out if it’s ok- figure out who has to be where. Then I never am sure if the other moms are in agreement and ok with it or if the boys planned this all on their own.
They always stay up late and are tired next day. Just hard for me to think fast and decide .
I don’t know why, I just hate them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two kiddos- one 14 and 11- but the 14 year old is also working a “sleepover” and I am so tired of it. I hate sleepovers. The pain of kids running in and out negotiating whose house- the late night scramble get clothes, sleeping bag and then the crabby next day due to no sleep.
I’ve tried setting rules- no sleepovers without 24 hour notice- 2 sleepovers a month- etc but then the nightly begging begins.
Does anyone else hate them and how do you manage them and limit their intrusion.

I loved them. Most were at my house. I feel like I have 5 additional daughters and 2 additional sons. Now that they are grown, I miss the fun and chaos. Chill out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sleepovers pretty much die out in high school. They either lose interest or are too busy with school related activities like school work, sports community service, etc.

That was not my experience with my two kids who are now in their mid 20's. Tons of sleepovers on weekends. Sometimes during midterms or finals, the kids would stay up late studying together and then have a sleepover just so they didn't have to waste time going home.

We have a basket of new toothbrushes under the sink, and another basket of bath products (face wash, sunscreen, tampons, travel shampoo, etc.) so if a kid slept over without advance planning it wasn't a big deal.

Yep.