So my teen is back from a week away, and I was not looking forward to her being back

[Anonymous]

This one has always been a high maintenance tough one. I faked enthusiasm for her return. She got home at noon. A friend had a small birthday party and they picked the date/time (tonight) partly so she could attend. The party started an hour ago and she's still in the shower. I swear, if I were this kid's mom, I would counsel him not to be friends with my DD.

I try to remind myself that my kid tries reasonably hard in school, is not into drugs, alcohol, or sex. And she has a lot of great qualities. What I mean is, she's really not that bad when I think about how bad a teen could be. I also believe that as a young adult, I think we'll have a decent relationship. But raising her has been no picnic, and I'm a little sad right now.

[Anonymous]

If she’s habitually late, she could have inattentive ADHD and need medication for that. Have you explored whether her issues are more than the usual teen moods? You can consult a reputable psychologist. It’s hard to go through childhood with untreated disorders...

[Anonymous]

I would not have transitioned well from a week away to a party at her age. Or at my age. I need more down time than that.

As does my son.

[Anonymous]

My stepdaughter was a VERY trying teenager. Side benefit it made her mom and I friends. She’s 23 and in grad school now. She’s a lovely young woman. Smart, resourceful, funny, kind. I feel so lucky that she’s in my life. Teenagers can really suck. Hang in there

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This one has always been a high maintenance tough one. I faked enthusiasm for her return. She got home at noon. A friend had a small birthday party and they picked the date/time (tonight) partly so she could attend. The party started an hour ago and she's still in the shower. I swear, if I were this kid's mom, I would counsel him not to be friends with my DD.

I try to remind myself that my kid tries reasonably hard in school, is not into drugs, alcohol, or sex. And she has a lot of great qualities. What I mean is, she's really not that bad when I think about how bad a teen could be. I also believe that as a young adult, I think we'll have a decent relationship. But raising her has been no picnic, and I'm a little sad right now.

Think about the times she will be gone from the home for good.. and you will miss her and every single little thing.

[Anonymous]

If this happen to often then either push a clock forward much earlier or fake the time she is due somewhere by one hour , she will be always on time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
If she’s habitually late, she could have inattentive ADHD and need medication for that. Have you explored whether her issues are more than the usual teen moods? You can consult a reputable psychologist. It’s hard to go through childhood with untreated disorders...

Wow, the armchair DX of ADHD came so quickly this time.

Well done! You all never fail me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
If she’s habitually late, she could have inattentive ADHD and need medication for that. Have you explored whether her issues are more than the usual teen moods? You can consult a reputable psychologist. It’s hard to go through childhood with untreated disorders...

Wow, the armchair DX of ADHD came so quickly this time.

Well done! You all never fail me.

Because I live the nightmare that is ADHD in my own family! You are lucky you get to scoff. Shut up now and count your blessings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This one has always been a high maintenance tough one. I faked enthusiasm for her return. She got home at noon. A friend had a small birthday party and they picked the date/time (tonight) partly so she could attend. The party started an hour ago and she's still in the shower. I swear, if I were this kid's mom, I would counsel him not to be friends with my DD.

I try to remind myself that my kid tries reasonably hard in school, is not into drugs, alcohol, or sex. And she has a lot of great qualities. What I mean is, she's really not that bad when I think about how bad a teen could be. I also believe that as a young adult, I think we'll have a decent relationship. But raising her has been no picnic, and I'm a little sad right now.

Think about the times she will be gone from the home for good.. and you will miss her and every single little thing.

You must not have a difficult teen.

I get it OP. My teen has been gone for ten days, and it has been heavenly. College can’t come soon enough.

[Anonymous]

The universe make teens annoying so you want them to leave the nest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
If she’s habitually late, she could have inattentive ADHD and need medication for that. Have you explored whether her issues are more than the usual teen moods? You can consult a reputable psychologist. It’s hard to go through childhood with untreated disorders...

Wow, the armchair DX of ADHD came so quickly this time.

Well done! You all never fail me.

You dismiss it. But it was my first thought too. Time blindness is often one of the hardest aspects of ADHD to parent.

[Anonymous]

OP, sounds exactly like my DD and my feelings about her. No advice, just know you are not alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
If she’s habitually late, she could have inattentive ADHD and need medication for that. Have you explored whether her issues are more than the usual teen moods? You can consult a reputable psychologist. It’s hard to go through childhood with untreated disorders...

Wow, the armchair DX of ADHD came so quickly this time.

Well done! You all never fail me.

You dismiss it. But it was my first thought too. Time blindness is often one of the hardest aspects of ADHD to parent.

NP here, and this was my first thought, too, because I have ADHD. Time blindness suuuuucks and it makes you feel like a deficient, terrible human being. 100% possible this kid doesn't have it, because we have such limited information (although she's also apparently very "high maintenance" in general). But also not going to kill anyone to consider it. Girls are much more likely to slip under the radar with it, even nowadays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This one has always been a high maintenance tough one. I faked enthusiasm for her return. She got home at noon. A friend had a small birthday party and they picked the date/time (tonight) partly so she could attend. The party started an hour ago and she's still in the shower. I swear, if I were this kid's mom, I would counsel him not to be friends with my DD.

I try to remind myself that my kid tries reasonably hard in school, is not into drugs, alcohol, or sex. And she has a lot of great qualities. What I mean is, she's really not that bad when I think about how bad a teen could be. I also believe that as a young adult, I think we'll have a decent relationship. But raising her has been no picnic, and I'm a little sad right now.

Think about the times she will be gone from the home for good.. and you will miss her and every single little thing.

My kid finished freshman year this year. I had an easier time than OP during high school with him.

I can promise you I don't miss every little thing. Not even close.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry things are rough and that you can't find any joy in raising this child.

I do wonder, though, if you should take some time to reflect on ways you could parent her better. She was gone a full week and you still hadn't softened. She has some strengths. Maybe get some help,learning to recognize them

I would not be surprised if some of her challenges come from the unease of living as a perpetual disappointment.