Family assets or what?

[Anonymous]

About ten years ago my in-laws started buying rental properties with their home equity line. It would get self funded with renters, pay down the loan and they’d do it again. They’d also fix up and maintain the properties, file all the rental income taxes, keep things to code, etc. Single and jobless BIL, 40yo, lives near them and has no job so he liked to find the renters and call himself a property manager (with his dad and mom of course).

As my husband was having one of those Retirement Funds conversations with them it turns out they put BIL’s name only on each of the $1M properties! Yet MIL manages the finances of them but perhaps all three of them have anytime access to the rental income. BIl takes month long vacations whenever he wants.

So are these cash cow properties their retirement income or a gift to jobless BIL or inheritance early for him? Will we get an equivalent thing or is this just their socialist thing to do for little brother?

Moreover, what happens if the in laws need money for something medical or live in home support? Will we have to go through BIL or what is going on here? They also have company stock, a DB pension plan plus SS.

[Anonymous]

Why are you asking us?

[Anonymous]

Sorry Op, I think you guys are screwed out of these assets and their big piggy bank.

It would take a very mature and fair set of elderly parents to true you up for what BIL received here.

Have you asked why the deeds are only to the brother and not them or you too or the grandchildren or a trust?

[Anonymous]

So wait, you were looking at your in-laws' rental properties as "family assets" that you assumed you should get a cut of as an inheritance, but your BIL potentially inheriting the properties after working with his parents on the rentals is "socialist"?

lolololol words have no meaning

[Anonymous]

Yep, all the properties will go to the BIL in the end. If they somehow needed the money for retirement, a court can force a sale, but BIL would get 1/3 immediately. Unfortunately, this is a son they feel they need to take care of b/c your husband has made it on his own (supposedly).

Same thing in my family. I have 3 brothers (2 half brothers from a 2nd marriage) and no sisters. My divorced father who owns a company is leaving everything to his 3 sons because he needs to make sure they are taken care of and continue the family name. I went to college (the boys didn't) and got married so I can take care of myself according to him. Two of the boys now "work" for the company, and the 3rd has done drugs, prison time, etc. He's funded all three for houses, drug rehab (no insurance), fancy cars - you name it. His parents bailed him out left and right growing up, and in fact, ran the company while they were still alive. Did I mention the company was actually started by my mom's family. My mom and dad purchased it from her father on loan and she basically ran it until they got divorced. That's when his parents stepped in b/c he can't really run anything either. When they passed away, my mom had to step back in and run things just to get child support payments.

Not a rationale you can fight with unfortunately. I just shake my head and move on with my life. I feel for you OP, but it's best just to let it go. Not worth the headache or heartache.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry Op, I think you guys are screwed out of these assets and their big piggy bank.

It would take a very mature and fair set of elderly parents to true you up for what BIL received here.

Have you asked why the deeds are only to the brother and not them or you too or the grandchildren or a trust?

Just have your spouse ask them why they did that. Then shut up and listen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So wait, you were looking at your in-laws' rental properties as "family assets" that you assumed you should get a cut of as an inheritance, but your BIL potentially inheriting the properties after working with his parents on the rentals is "socialist"?

lolololol words have no meaning

Sounds like OP’s husband and his parents were having a typical Power of attorney/ Do you have enough money for your retirement and thought the parents owned the properties they bought and currently manage. Turns out they gifted them to the adult brother.

Upon death, any further inheritance might be split In half or also mainly to the needy brother, ignoring the multiple million dollar rental properties he already was given recently.

This is not part of their assets nor estate; it is fully owned by the brother. Hope he doesn’t marry someone who figures out he’s rich w no job! Or if he has any kids out of wedlock.There goes those $ millions the parents worked so hard for.

Lemme guess: codependency, enabling, funding, and bailing him out for four decades...

[Anonymous]

Per above suggestion, I would NOT want to be on a rental property deed with a chronically jobless anyone. Just sayin’

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:About ten years ago my in-laws started buying rental properties with their home equity line. It would get self funded with renters, pay down the loan and they’d do it again. They’d also fix up and maintain the properties, file all the rental income taxes, keep things to code, etc. Single and jobless BIL, 40yo, lives near them and has no job so he liked to find the renters and call himself a property manager (with his dad and mom of course).

As my husband was having one of those Retirement Funds conversations with them it turns out they put BIL’s name only on each of the $1M properties! Yet MIL manages the finances of them but perhaps all three of them have anytime access to the rental income. BIl takes month long vacations whenever he wants.

So are these cash cow properties their retirement income or a gift to jobless BIL or inheritance early for him? Will we get an equivalent thing or is this just their socialist thing to do for little brother?

Moreover, what happens if the in laws need money for something medical or live in home support? Will we have to go through BIL or what is going on here? They also have company stock, a DB pension plan plus SS.

You, OP, will not get anything. Your husband, not you, would be the heir in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yep, all the properties will go to the BIL in the end. If they somehow needed the money for retirement, a court can force a sale, but BIL would get 1/3 immediately. Unfortunately, this is a son they feel they need to take care of b/c your husband has made it on his own (supposedly).

Same thing in my family. I have 3 brothers (2 half brothers from a 2nd marriage) and no sisters. My divorced father who owns a company is leaving everything to his 3 sons because he needs to make sure they are taken care of and continue the family name. I went to college (the boys didn't) and got married so I can take care of myself according to him. Two of the boys now "work" for the company, and the 3rd has done drugs, prison time, etc. He's funded all three for houses, drug rehab (no insurance), fancy cars - you name it. His parents bailed him out left and right growing up, and in fact, ran the company while they were still alive. Did I mention the company was actually started by my mom's family. My mom and dad purchased it from her father on loan and she basically ran it until they got divorced. That's when his parents stepped in b/c he can't really run anything either. When they passed away, my mom had to step back in and run things just to get child support payments.

Not a rationale you can fight with unfortunately. I just shake my head and move on with my life. I feel for you OP, but it's best just to let it go. Not worth the headache or heartache.

NP here. I am so sorry. The absolute worst thing those parents could do is enable the ne'er do wells in the family. DH has this in his family too - he tried giving troubled SIL a job, and it caused nothing but pain for the business. Awful. DH is not taken into consideration, because he is competent. Makes absolutely backwards sense.

[Anonymous]

What is socialist about this whole situation?

[Anonymous]

Ha! If my parents/ILs gifted an unemployed sibling millions of dollars, I'd take it as a get out of jail free card on their eldercare. I'd visit a couple of times per month to whatever facility they're in, if they're local, and that's about it. No management of anything. The favorite son can step up.

They have no obligation to be fair in how they leave their estate, but there's also no law that says that you have to clean up the pieces on the back end of this mess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry Op, I think you guys are screwed out of these assets and their big piggy bank.

It would take a very mature and fair set of elderly parents to true you up for what BIL received here.

Have you asked why the deeds are only to the brother and not them or you too or the grandchildren or a trust?

Just have your spouse ask them why they did that. Then shut up and listen.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ha! If my parents/ILs gifted an unemployed sibling millions of dollars, I'd take it as a get out of jail free card on their eldercare. I'd visit a couple of times per month to whatever facility they're in, if they're local, and that's about it. No management of anything. The favorite son can step up.

They have no obligation to be fair in how they leave their estate, but there's also no law that says that you have to clean up the pieces on the back end of this mess.

It doesn't make what they did right. Also, their "legacy" will be about their lack of fairness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ha! If my parents/ILs gifted an unemployed sibling millions of dollars, I'd take it as a get out of jail free card on their eldercare. I'd visit a couple of times per month to whatever facility they're in, if they're local, and that's about it. No management of anything. The favorite son can step up.

They have no obligation to be fair in how they leave their estate, but there's also no law that says that you have to clean up the pieces on the back end of this mess.

It doesn't make what they did right. Also, their "legacy" will be about their lack of fairness.

No, I agree completely. That’s why I’d be done.