How often do you see your IL’s and your own family?
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Anonymous
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I see my parents maybe 2-3 times per year.
My husband would like to see his family 2-3 times per month. Ideally I would prefer to see his family the same amount I see mine and I skip most get togethers. My husband could see his family 2-3 times per week and not bat an eye. Meanwhile I would go batshit if I had to see my family more than once per quarter. |
Anonymous
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My family (parents and siblings) lives on the west coast. We try to see them every year, but sometimes it's more like every other year. They travel here sometimes. We used to see them more before we had 2 kids, but now it's equally a production for us to go there as it is for them to come here.
My husband's parents (divorced) both live in Florida. We see them a few times a year. We fly MIL up to visit the kids every quarter because she's on a fixed income and couldn't afford to see them if it was all on her. DH and I are both okay with the frequency of these visits. |
Anonymous
| We see my dad once a year and my mom every few months. My in laws live farther away and we see them twice a year. If I could stand my MIl, we would probably see them 3-4 times a year. |
Anonymous
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This is such an arbitrary question.
I haven’t seen my parent in 15 years. We see DHs parents every few months, for blocks lasting about 2-3 weeks. It’s up to you to skip get togethers, but skipping because you don’t see your family seems rigid and again, arbitrary. You are you are, and your DH is who he is. Neither of you have to bend because the other one has the relationship with their parents that they do. |
Anonymous
| About once a week for both. Sometimes more, rarely less. Some are big events like bdays, Sunday dinners, pool time together. Some are short since both sets provide some childcare (at their behest) and we just see them when we are getting our kid back. I'm ok with the frequency and we prioritize both nuclear and extended family time on weekends over activities. Grandparents are an important part of our kids lives and they'll only be with us for so long. |
Anonymous
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We see my in-laws 4-6 times a year for a weekend and 2 full weeks - one at the beach and between Christmas and New Year’s. If they lived closer I would see them more often.
We see my parents 2x a week. One day a week they pick the kids up from preschool and aftercare and stay for dinner. During the weekend we usually meet up for a meal or a kids activity. If my in-laws lived closer, ideally we’d see each set of grandparents 1x a week and vacation alone. |
Anonymous
| This is a really sad thread. We see our extended family all the time, almost every day, and almost all of us still live in the DMV. If we were in your situations it would just be awful. Our children are so much better off knowing their aunts and uncles and grandparents. And I mean knowing them, not just visiting them. |
Anonymous
Since it’s my family that live close, I usually give my husband to stay home from weekend activities if he would prefer to do something else. About 1/4 of the time he takes me up on it, but he knows he is not obligated to entertain my parents. |
Anonymous
| 2 or 3 times a year. None of them live close by. It's kinda of a blessing a curse |
Anonymous
| We see MIL weekly - she is elderly and needs more hands on attention. We see my parents several times per month depending on their travel schedule. I often meet my family for lunch so my husband can skip a few visits. |
Anonymous
| My MIL, tried to weekly. She was in a nursing home. I took care of a lot for her. My parents, local as little as possible. |
Anonymous
| My parents live 5 hours away by car and my IL’s live less than an hour away. We drive to my parents at least twice a year and they visit us once or twice. We visit my IL’s once a month but they are only in the area 5 months of the year. My IL’s are awesome and my kids adore them so it works well. |
Anonymous
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My family is in New England. We see them 3-4x a year. DH does not always come. If we lived up north, I’d probably see my family all the time. I like a little bit of distance, but closer would be better.
DH’s family is in the midwest and south. We see some of them once a year, if that. His sisters are really close to each other and they’re together all the time, but I don’t think DH ever had that close of a connection with them. And I’m not gonna cry about that because I can’t see myself getting close to them. We have very, very different lives. |
Anonymous
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FAIR DOES NOT MEAN EQUAL. Negotiate, make it work for you (do other stuff while he sees his family), get the grandparents to babysit, etc... Our families are in Europe and we see them on average once a year, my MIL less than my parents. |
Anonymous
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MIL lives with us.
I see my parents when they come to visit 1-2x/year. |