How often do you see your IL’s and your own family?

[Anonymous]

Each once a week at least

[Anonymous]

I could see my family everyday, or every other day. I haven't seen my IL since 2014, and would be fine to never see them again. DH is free to see his parents whenever he wants, but it's on him to plan that.

Why does it need to be equal amount of times for your DH? Are his parents local?

[Anonymous]

Same number of days a year (3-4 weeks) but longer chunks with far away in laws visiting or vice versus and shorter chunks with Chicago based parents visiting, vacationing or vice versus.

[Anonymous]

Like pp, same number of days, different number of visits. ILs live across the country. They will only come if they can stay 10+ days. And use one week of vacation to visit them. My parents are closer, but still a 5 hour drive. They think nothing of coming down for a long weekend and seem to prefer no longer than 3 nights at our house. So their visits are more frequent but shorter in duration. We visit them for one week worth of vacation as well.

[Anonymous]

OP, do your parents and ILs live similar distances from you? That makes a big difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see my parents maybe 2-3 times per year.

My husband would like to see his family 2-3 times per month. Ideally I would prefer to see his family the same amount I see mine and I skip most get togethers. My husband could see his family 2-3 times per week and not bat an eye. Meanwhile I would go batshit if I had to see my family more than once per quarter.

Oh wow. Do you think your kids will feel the same way about you one day?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see my parents maybe 2-3 times per year.

My husband would like to see his family 2-3 times per month. Ideally I would prefer to see his family the same amount I see mine and I skip most get togethers. My husband could see his family 2-3 times per week and not bat an eye. Meanwhile I would go batshit if I had to see my family more than once per quarter.

Oh wow. Do you think your kids will feel the same way about you one day?

That is pretty common in America where kids go all over the country for college, then Job 1, Job 2, etc. Quality time not quantity time. And it's super fun to visit your adult child as well. Plus we have our own friends and cousins enjoying retirement where we live, so it's a social fun time. We also both still work part-time in our 70s - teaching and consulting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I see my parents maybe 2-3 times per year.

My husband would like to see his family 2-3 times per month. Ideally I would prefer to see his family the same amount I see mine and I skip most get togethers. My husband could see his family 2-3 times per week and not bat an eye. Meanwhile I would go batshit if I had to see my family more than once per quarter.

Oh wow. Do you think your kids will feel the same way about you one day?

It’s my job to develop a relationship with my kids where they will hopefully visit out of their own free will and not a trumped up sense of obligation or duty.

Every family is complicated in their own way.