ending on a low note

[Anonymous]

Dd is 'graduating' elem school (6th grade) from a small religious school. The principal asked us to meet with him (we did yesterday) to discuss her emotional and social wellbeing which he is very concerned about. He said she seems very sad, closed off, and suspicious of her classmates who are not actually trying to exclude her or 'be mean' to her as she claims they are.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry OP, it sounds like typical girl puberty to me.

[Anonymous]

op: I wanted to say that during the conference, which was also attended by a woman whose official title at the school I can't remember, but I decided to measure my words and wait until I had time to think it over.

[Anonymous]

Great that she'll have a fresh start next year, then. Help her focus on the positive as you prep her for the new school and new group of classmates.
Yes, it's pretty common at that age, so find ways to boost her confidence and self-esteem over the summer. Lots of good books out there, both for you and her.

[Anonymous]

op: Agree, but I spent a lot of money on that school, and I feel almost insulted by what they said.

[Anonymous]

Strange that they'd wait until the very end to address it with you.

[Anonymous]

op: I am so annoyed that they did this 5 days before end of school. So obnoxious to be like "we're just trying to help" when there's no point making a plan with them, it isn't their problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:op: Agree, but I spent a lot of money on that school, and I feel almost insulted by what they said.

it is certainly disappointing and uncaring on their part. Is it possible they are hoping she won’t return? Do you want your child at a school that knowingly lets her struggle without a word to you? Did you ask your daughter if anything unusual happened in the last few days? It sounds like there could have been some kind of bullying incident the principal was trying to get in front of.

[Anonymous]

They said it isn’t one specific incident, there is no returning as it ends at 6th

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They said it isn’t one specific incident, there is no returning as it ends at 6th

Don't waste your time being insulted about things they said (because maybe they are true?)

I would be glad that you are done with them, since it seems they waited until there was nothing more to do on their part to bother bringing this up to you.

Very typical of private schools to become unhealthy places for anyone who doesn't fit the school's image of what a kid should be like. Good riddance.

All that said, they did choose to talk about your daughter's mental health. Take that as a warning that there may be something going on and try to figure it out this summer so that the fall goes better and so that any potential problem is addressed/has professionals in place.

[Anonymous]

She says she doesn’t want therapy, i took her in April and therapist said don’t drag her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dd is 'graduating' elem school (6th grade) from a small religious school. The principal asked us to meet with him (we did yesterday) to discuss her emotional and social wellbeing which he is very concerned about. He said she seems very sad, closed off, and suspicious of her classmates who are not actually trying to exclude her or 'be mean' to her as she claims they are.

They are probably ill-equipped to deal with what she is going through but know something is going on and didn’t want to be irresponsible by just not saying anything at all. Maybe it’s just as simple as a bad friend situation. I would pay attention to what they said though. Watch how she is in groups and out around people. My daughter (who was always outgoing and involved) had a similar situation at the end of her elementary career (concerned teacher / counselor) and it turned into full-blown social anxiety disorder (withdrawing / always thinking people are excluding her and judging her). Schools (large/small/public/private) don’t understand these kids or know what to do with them. It’s on the parents to take charge. She’s lucky to have you.

[Anonymous]

PP here again. This article helped me when my daughter was first resistant to help so I thought I would pass is along.

https://childmind.org/article/helping-resistant-teens-into-treatment/

[Anonymous]

Just to say we've been there --sixth grade for our DD was a roller coaster with few highs. Her friends (ALL of them) fell away; her body changed dramatically; etc.
The school said/did nothing (first year of middle school). Now we're at the end of 7th grade and she is emerging from the tunnel.
Good luck, OP.
At least the school met with you--yes, too late for them to do anything, but you can try to have a good summer with her. If she has "old" friends that have disappeared, try to reconnect? If she wants alone time, walking/hiking is good, even if she walks ahead with earphones on. Outdoors, physical activity, a few nice restaurant meals; don't push anything.
The world is changing and as far as they can tell, not changing for the better.

[Anonymous]

Reading between the lines, it appears you are upset because the school confirmed your fears that your DD is struggling. You already knew that and had taken her to therapy months ago. They appear concerned about suicide (the sad comment) and you shouldn’t be upset that they spoke up. You need to get your daughter help.