Cant get babysitter to leave when I get home

[Anonymous]

Im up early with pregnancy insomnia and hormones pondering this question and considering letting my long term babysitter go because of it!

My situation is that we have had the same middle aged, divorced babysitter for two days a week for three years now as I work part time. She has gotten very comfortable with our family, to the point that she knows a lot of the family drama situation as we know hers and is very entrenched in our lives. She regularly talks my ear off upon arriving at 8am (I have to be at work at 9 after dropping a child at preschool!) and then stays comfortable on the couch or kitchen table when I arrive home from work if my husband isn't home yet or if he has to take our older son to an activity. This behavior has been annoying me for some time but I trust her with the kids and she is very reliable. Also, I feel bad for her as she was a long term SAHM and one daughter no longer talks to her and husband divorced her suddenly about 4 years ago. Not my problem, I know.

Yesterday, she stayed plunked at my house for an HOUR after I came home just talking to me and hanging out with my kids and I before my husband got home. I am exhausted and defeated! I don't want to talk to her at the end of my work days, nor do I want to shush my children so that the babysitter can tell her rambling stories during our limited time together on my work days.

Would you find new childcare due to this? Or am I being too sensitive?

Children are preschool aged and first grade. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

You might find this thread from earlier this month helpful:

Getting a babysitter to leave when shift is over

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/803021.page

[Anonymous]

I don’t mean to be cruel, but I honestly don’t understand why you can’t shut this down. Thank you so much, Marge. The kids and I are going to —insert activity in another room — see you on Tuesday? Let me walk you out. Or, if you don’t usually walk her to the door, gather kids and head to the other room.

Don’t sit down. Don’t engage. You will feel so good once you’ve found that backbone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You might find this thread from earlier this month helpful:

Getting a babysitter to leave when shift is over

https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/803021.page

Did you write this same thread above? It sounds the same!

[Anonymous]

Lol! No I didn’t but it does sound v similar! I guess it is a common problem with middle aged sitters!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t mean to be cruel, but I honestly don’t understand why you can’t shut this down. Thank you so much, Marge. The kids and I are going to —insert activity in another room — see you on Tuesday? Let me walk you out. Or, if you don’t usually walk her to the door, gather kids and head to the other room.

Don’t sit down. Don’t engage. You will feel so good once you’ve found that backbone.

I guess I was taught to always be nice and chat with people, especially those who were “the help” in some essence. Now I don’t know how to turn it off and I’m in too deep!

[Anonymous]

I feel bad for her, she obviously considers you a friend not merely an employer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel bad for her, she obviously considers you a friend not merely an employer.

y

Really? This response is too pathetic for words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t mean to be cruel, but I honestly don’t understand why you can’t shut this down. Thank you so much, Marge. The kids and I are going to —insert activity in another room — see you on Tuesday? Let me walk you out. Or, if you don’t usually walk her to the door, gather kids and head to the other room.

Don’t sit down. Don’t engage. You will feel so good once you’ve found that backbone.

I guess I was taught to always be nice and chat with people, especially those who were “the help” in some essence. Now I don’t know how to turn it off and I’m in too deep!

How about facing it head on in a very nice way with a little white lie to pad the hurt. Something like "Gosh Jane, I love talking to you and I could go on for a while but I have to cut our conversations short because I'm falling behind on laundry/food/work/ and want to spend time with the kids."

[Anonymous]

Laughing out loud, I am the OP of the previous post about trying to get a babysitter to leave after her shift. Glad to know I'm not the only one having this issue!

I've had some limited success ushering her out with the excuse that I have to take the kids somewhere. Telling her someone else was coming over (even when true!) does not work - she still hangs around, even when the other party arrives... whether it be friend, family or DH.

Ugh, wish I had better advice, but you are not alone in wondering if you might not want her to babysit anymore. I have definitely cut back on my chatty cathy babysitter(s)!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Laughing out loud, I am the OP of the previous post about trying to get a babysitter to leave after her shift. Glad to know I'm not the only one having this issue!

I've had some limited success ushering her out with the excuse that I have to take the kids somewhere. Telling her someone else was coming over (even when true!) does not work - she still hangs around, even when the other party arrives... whether it be friend, family or DH.

Ugh, wish I had better advice, but you are not alone in wondering if you might not want her to babysit anymore. I have definitely cut back on my chatty cathy babysitter(s)!

Omg op of this post here! My chatty sitter will stay for visitors, too! She has no shame! She will
just go into stories of her medical problems or whatever while they look at her like omg! I think the only solution is to stop using her so much. She obviously feels way too comfortable and I have no clue how to addresss that without hurting her feelings. However, I honestly don’t talk to my husband as much as I talk to her some days. It’s too much.