Getting a babysitter to leave when shift is over...

[Anonymous]

Anyone else have this problem? I have two part-time sitters, middle aged ladies, each babysits regularly once per week. I literally have to build an an extra 30 minutes at the end of their scheduled babysitting time because they both will not get out the door. They're recounting anecdotes about the kids, telling me about their lives, and just droning on and on. It's gotten to the point where one of them doesn't even get up when I come home. She stays stationed on the couch. Even if I don't sit down and stand by the front door, with the door ajar for her to leave. She doesn't get the hint.

I also have a college age babysitter I use occasionally, and never ever have this problem with her. I come home, pay her, exchange brief pleasantries, and she's out the door. She's got stuff to do!

Any advice for getting bored, lonely babysitters out the door? It's gotten to the point where I'm considering changing sitters because of this nuisance -- even though I'm generally satisfied with their babysitting services. I'm not looking for a friend, just a sitter!

[Anonymous]

No advice, but my friend's elderly former babysitter did this too. Not sure what the answer is, but I'd probably eventually get new sitters too.

[Anonymous]

“Sorry, but I need to say good-bye! Thanks for coming over!”

Text her ten minutes before you arrive home. Ask if there’s anything important, because you’re unable to chat when you get home.

[Anonymous]

I had this problem! We no longer use her for other reasons, but it got to the point where I would fully engage for about 3-5 minutes and then firmly end the conversation and let her know it was great having her and see her next time and we have some things to do and places to go. It seemed to help if I gave her some real attention first, which is not necessary but was a kindness I was willing to make for a person watching my kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had this problem! We no longer use her for other reasons, but it got to the point where I would fully engage for about 3-5 minutes and then firmly end the conversation and let her know it was great having her and see her next time and we have some things to do and places to go. It seemed to help if I gave her some real attention first, which is not necessary but was a kindness I was willing to make for a person watching my kids.

Exactly. I do the same. It drives me crazy but the truth is she takes better care of my kid and house than the college kids who run out. Someday I may be lonely like her so I try not to kick her out immediately.

[Anonymous]

Are they foreign-born? In my experience, the foreign nannies seem to wait to be dismissed.

At any rate, just say you have to run and cut the goodbye short.

[Anonymous]

This is the OP here. No, these sitters aren't foreign born.

In theory, the idea of saying "Okay, thanks for babysitting, I've gotta run" sounds great, but in reality, it's super difficult and awkward to pull that off when we're in my home and there's a toddler napping and my other child sitting there playing.

Any suggestions for this scenario? My husband says to say I've got work to do at home (which is honestly true), but again, super awkward to actually implement, especially when the sitter isn't even making the slightest motion to leave. It's like she thinks it's social hour....

[Anonymous]

OP again. Meant to say in my reply above, that I think part of the issue is that I'm obviously *not* going anywhere due to the sleeping toddler, even if I do have things to do that don't involve sitting around chatting with the sitter.

[Anonymous]

Say you want to go upstairs and change, “so bye and see you next time.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Say you want to go upstairs and change, “so bye and see you next time.”

That's a great idea! Tell her you need to "slip into something more comfortable" and if she doesn't take the hint and leave, come downstairs in your sexiest lingerie!

[Anonymous]

Set your phone to a ringing alarm after you’re in the door a few minutes. I’ve been saved by the bell a few times with a “ah, gotta take this! Thanks so much. See you Thursday at 6! Bye”. Yes, I’m a coward like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Say you want to go upstairs and change, “so bye and see you next time.”

Exactly what I was going to say. Or say you need to "freshen up" or whatever makes sense. So chat for a few minutes, then say "Ok, Linda here's your cash/whatever, I need to head upstairs to change and do a few chores. Thank you and see you next time!" all while walking her towards the front door....

[Anonymous]

Make up an excuse:

Look at your watch and say something like, "Oh dear, wish I could talk, but my boss is calling me in 5 minutes to discuss something about work and I need to get on my computer."
Tell them you ate something funny and say, "let me walk you to the door. I need to go to the bathroom."
Say something like, "Well, I'll let you get going. I know it's been a long night for all of us, and we have to wake up early."
Walk in and pretend to yawn and tell them you're really tired, it's late, let me walk you to the door as you must be tired, too.
Park your car near theirs and say, "Shoot. I left your money in the car. Grab your stuff and I'll walk you out and give you the money."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. Meant to say in my reply above, that I think part of the issue is that I'm obviously *not* going anywhere due to the sleeping toddler, even if I do have things to do that don't involve sitting around chatting with the sitter.

Would you please grow a spine?

[Anonymous]

You need to do the walk and talk ...As you hand her the money: "Thanks for sitting for us, Sally! I hope the kids were well behaved. Drive safely" Wave her off and close the door.

BUT.. I think if there are 2 lingering babysitters maybe you are unknowingly chatting too much or something in your body language that they feel it's rude to cut you off and go. Maybe you are super friendly?