12 year old seen with inappropriate behaviour

[Anonymous]

I posted this question yesterday for some advice on my 12 year old , almost 13 boy seen with some inappropriate websites and then subsequently with an erection.

Apparently don't find this post anywhere now???

What I am seeking here is a better way to deal with him gently so that he is focussing on building a strong character and academics and is not diverted into such inappropriate sites. We blocked the navigation ability in computers but want to know how he got to know of these type of web sites and how to prevent him from doing anything inappropriate at school or getting into inappropriate experiences outside home. Please advice.

[Anonymous]

Good lord. Some one wants to hold beck the tide. LOL

GOOD LUCK!!!

[Anonymous]

It's too late already. He's on a bad path, and by the time he's 13 expect him to be indicted for securities fraud. Might as well disown him now, so you can get out of paying his legal defense fees.

[Anonymous]

This has to have been posted by a 12-year-old.

Hint: boners are part of life.

[Anonymous]

This can’t be serious. 13 year old boys like porn. Limit his access. 13 year olds get erections. Leave him alone and let him do what teen boys do.

/mom of three grown boys

[Anonymous]

It was probably removed because someone reported you as a possible troll.

[Anonymous]

Teach him the appropriate way to look at porn. Meaning, in private and when no one else will see him. Also ensure you mention something in relation to the fact that porn is not indicative of real life. You may also mention that you don’t approve of it, should you feel so compelled. I’m sorry but you are unlikely to find a healthy way to divert him from seeing porn because he lives in America and you probably don’t plan to lock him in the house. You can keep him from being inappropriate at school and home.

[Anonymous]

When I was a young teenager I was babysitting a little boy who may have been 10 or 11. He likes to watch “Clarissa Explains it All”. His Parents told me he was allowed to watch it, but that if he starts laying face down on the floor and rubbing up against it, to tell him nicely to go to his room. I don’t have son, but that really made an impression on my future Parenting views. Haha.

[Anonymous]

18:53 is right on target. Explain that what is staged/filmed is not love (hopefully he has good family role models for a loving, respectful relationship with you and DH, aunts and uncles, etc), and not real. That you are concerned because some people see porn, and think it is real, and/or get those images stuck in their head, and you don't want that for him. Definitely let him know is curiosity is normal!

[Anonymous]

The "appropriate way to look at porn?" How about the appropriate way to consider women? (ie not sex objects). Porn just encourages men to objectify women. Look, I'm all for showing it him once and explaining that it is not real life (& that it devolves women to the worth of a blow up doll). But, not for teaching him to "View in private." Porn does not have to be a thing or a right of passage. Erections - normal. Porn - no.

[Anonymous]

thank you for the advices so far. This is posted by the mom and it certainly is not a troll.
I don't have older boys to compare with and so was lost on how to direct him towards a good strong character and hence seeked advice. Please keep them coming. Thanks again

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teach him the appropriate way to look at porn. Meaning, in private and when no one else will see him. Also ensure you mention something in relation to the fact that porn is not indicative of real life. You may also mention that you don’t approve of it, should you feel so compelled. I’m sorry but you are unlikely to find a healthy way to divert him from seeing porn because he lives in America and you probably don’t plan to lock him in the house. You can keep him from being inappropriate at school and home.

What the ever loving eff is this? No 13 year old should be looking at porn, you whack job. 99% of it is misogynistic and super messed up for an adolescent who still hasn't developed his sexuality. Just imagine how messed up you'd be if you grew up regularly looking at the stuff. I dated a guy with a porn problem and he was terrible in bed, couldn't come, everything seemed fake, there was zero connection when we were intimate. Not only could the kid develop those problems, but he also will probably grow to see women as less than human because that is 100% how mainstream porn portrays them.

OP, don't give your kid access. Figure it out. Talk to him about it. Make sure he doesn't have a smart phone or a computer in his room.

[Anonymous]

How did he get to know about these type of web sites?

Let me introduce you to Google.

[Anonymous]

They are going to look. I tell my 12 year old it’s not reflective of real sex. Watching too much of it can mess up your very-far-in-the-distant-future sex life. Much of it has been uploaded without the woman’s knowledge or consent. And much of it is against the woman’s will/trafficked individuals.

The parental controls are good but not 100% effective. You won’t be able to stop it. But you could slow it down a bit. Talking about it is the most important thing. I don’t find thencinversations pleasant, but they are necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did he get to know about these type of web sites?

Let me introduce you to Google.

Boys this age also show it to each other on their phones. Girls too.