how often do you talk/communicate with your spouse during the workday?

[Anonymous]

I rarely speak to my DH during the workday (he works FT, I work PT). He NEVER calls me, and if I call him, it's only because I really need to tell him something. About 75% of the time when I call him, it goes to voicemail. When he does answer the phone, usually I'll say hello and he says "I'll have to call you back" and never remembers or gets around to calling me back.

I understand he is really busy most of the day at work, spends most of his time in meeting or on the phone, and if he's talking to me and his other line starts ringing and it's a client, he has to get it. But still, it would be nice if he EVER thought hey, I have five minutes, I'll just call and say hi. I have mentioned this to him before, and then I might get one "hello call" from him that week, and then never again.

I e-mail him most days when I'm at work since it's easier than reaching him by phone, and again, it's usually because I have to impart some important time-sensitive information (like who's picking up a kid on the way home from work), not just "how's your day going, honey?" Usually he responds, but not always, and it's usually very short and to the point. Like I'll email him 2-3 paragraphs and he'll reply "sounds good."

Maybe we just have different communication styles? I'm just wondering if this seems weird and if other people talk to their spouses a lot more during the day.

[Anonymous]

We're kind of like you and your DH. Talk during the work day is on an as needed only basis. And, if a text would work, all the better. The likelihood that we both have the same five minutes free during the day to chat is slim to none. And, I really prefer getting my work done so that we can all be home in the evening with the kids as early as possible. Personally, I hate the guilt trips that I get occasionally when I am working and DP is off and wants to chat with me because I am better company than the baby. If there was something productive that came out of such chats, I might feel different. But, usually one of us is just annoyed by being interrupted and nothing good comes out of it, so it doesn't make sense to us to try to talk during the work day.

[Anonymous]

We also talk on an as-needed basis. I am a SAHM and I'd say we talk on the phone maybe once/week. We're much more likely to email each other, but even that's only a few times per week.

[Anonymous]

This is interesting to me. I am divorced, and I talk to my ex-husband probably 3 times a day, easily (not including when he calls to talk specifically with the kids). I'm sure we're weird.

[Anonymous]

Probably twice a day. If we're excited to tell the other something. I often call with cute stuff our son did at day care drop-off. Or boring stuff like asking whether the other needs something from the store on our way home.

[Anonymous]

Hardly at all. I see him all the time at home, why do we have to talk during the work day? I'm busy. He's busy.
Of course, if there is a question or concern or something that needs to be discussed we talk. Otherwise, we wait until we get home.

[Anonymous]

Pre-child we talked on the phone regularly, just a minute here and there, usually to tell something funny that happened or make plans for dinner, etc. Now we talk much less during the day (our schedules are very different now during the day from one another), but text if we need to reach each other.

[Anonymous]

We talk a few times a day, and maybe e-mail once or twice on most days.

I always call to ask about daycare drop off and hear any adorable stories, and he usually calls during lunch or in the late afternoon (he can go down and see the kids at daycare some days so he reports back).

I don't work one day of the week, and I find he calls me at the worst times on this day! Like when a thousand things are going on....and it is total chaos.

But, our calls are not really that exciting - a lot of logistics, etc.

[Anonymous]

I SAH, he works outside the home. We send several emails and he calls me a few times throughout the day, including once or twice at lunch. When we're busier, we talk less.

[Anonymous]

OP, I wouldn't stress about it. My husband probably calls me every day to check in, once a day when we're in the office. I probably never call him - I hate actually interrupting my day and talking on the phone if it's not purpose related - it's just that I'd rather connect at the end of the day. Totally nothing to do with me loving him or not, just a communication style. I'm also all over email, and he hates it that way. So, if you're looking for a greater meaning in it, don't worry. You're just different.

[Anonymous]

My wife calls me everyday after her last class (she is a teacher) we just like to say hello during the day. When she is home during the summer, I call her during my lunch every day. The day I put work before talking to my wife is the day I become my father -- no thanks.

[Anonymous]

I never call my husband at work. There are times when he as to work nights and calls me when he is bored though. I usually don't like talking to him then because I am either trying to put the kids to bed or just starting to decompress from the day.

[Anonymous]

We speak usually 3-4 times a day. We both have busy demanding jobs, but we've learned that it is important for us to stay close during the day. My first year at my current company we rarely spoke during the workday and whether it was a symptom or result of relationship problems, I can't be sure, but neither the absence of contact nor the general relationship problems exist anymore!

[Anonymous]

OP,

We WORK together and RARELY - if ever - communicate.

How's that for "communication" styles?

[Anonymous]

We might talk at lunch if there's something urgent going on- kid went to doctor, after work plans that need ironing out, otherwise no talking during the workday. Our jobs don't allow for it.