Forgotten homework survey

[Anonymous]

Looking at some insight as we have mixed feelings

1) if DC forgets homework one day and realizes on way to school, would you go back and get it for them?
2) are they generally good student and responsible?
3) do you work and this would be late to work?
4) what age is your DC?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking at some insight as we have mixed feelings

1) if DC forgets homework one day and realizes on way to school, would you go back and get it for them?
2) are they generally good student and responsible?
3) do you work and this would be late to work?
4) what age is your DC?

1. No, I haven't done this (per 3 below)

2. Yes. But daydreamy and prone to forget stuff.

3. Yes, and yes.

4. 11

[Anonymous]

Yes, usually if it was a project or a group activity. Probably not for a routine math worksheet
Generally responsible so this might happen once or twice per semester
Flexible work schedule so lateness not an issue
7th grader and 10th grader

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking at some insight as we have mixed feelings

1) if DC forgets homework one day and realizes on way to school, would you go back and get it for them?
2) are they generally good student and responsible?
3) do you work and this would be late to work?
4) what age is your DC?

I worked at a middle school and I don't think there is one answer that is right in all situations. I think this really depends on the teacher's policy, the student in particular (do they have a lot of anxiety, ADHD, LD or other stresses going on in their life? Parents going through a divorce, social problems at school, sick grandparent or sibling?), and where your kid is in relation to the consequences for this. Is it going to be just detention? 10% off a homework assignment that is only a small percentage? or is this a case like in NYC where kids and families are under a huge amount of stress because the kids have to apply out for middle school and high school and there is no safety net of a zoned school?

There is no one right answer for all situations IMO.
Some people cannot miss work for this stuff, and some people can.

I have delivered instruments to school when ds forgot his. I have delivered lunch to school when it was forgotten. I took a water bottle to my 14 yr old a few weeks ago when we were having a heat wave and he had to bike 5 miles home after school, because I knew we had not discussed anything like that before and it would not occur to him to buy water at lunch and he had no money in his backpack. So yes, I would take homework. My kids have ADHD and if they actually realized that they had forgotten something, it would be a win. I have a flexible schedule so this is not a big deal. My teenager would not ask me to drop something off. He would not call me and tell me he forgot something. It would be a huge win for him to actually make an effort by asking us to bring something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Looking at some insight as we have mixed feelings

1) if DC forgets homework one day and realizes on way to school, would you go back and get it for them?
2) are they generally good student and responsible?
3) do you work and this would be late to work?
4) what age is your DC?

I worked at a middle school and I don't think there is one answer that is right in all situations. I think this really depends on the teacher's policy, the student in particular (do they have a lot of anxiety, ADHD, LD or other stresses going on in their life? Parents going through a divorce, social problems at school, sick grandparent or sibling?), and where your kid is in relation to the consequences for this. Is it going to be just detention? 10% off a homework assignment that is only a small percentage? or is this a case like in NYC where kids and families are under a huge amount of stress because the kids have to apply out for middle school and high school and there is no safety net of a zoned school?

There is no one right answer for all situations IMO.
Some people cannot miss work for this stuff, and some people can.

I have delivered instruments to school when ds forgot his. I have delivered lunch to school when it was forgotten. I took a water bottle to my 14 yr old a few weeks ago when we were having a heat wave and he had to bike 5 miles home after school, because I knew we had not discussed anything like that before and it would not occur to him to buy water at lunch and he had no money in his backpack. So yes, I would take homework. My kids have ADHD and if they actually realized that they had forgotten something, it would be a win. I have a flexible schedule so this is not a big deal. My teenager would not ask me to drop something off. He would not call me and tell me he forgot something. It would be a huge win for him to actually make an effort by asking us to bring something.

To be clear, when I say makes an effort, i am not talking about effort at school. I mean, it just doesn't occur to him that he has forgotten something until right when he needs it, and it doesn't occur to him to ask us to bring things. It is not unusual for kids this age, although definitely other kids are different and will call their parents to ask for stuff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking at some insight as we have mixed feelings

1) if DC forgets homework one day and realizes on way to school, would you go back and get it for them?
2) are they generally good student and responsible?
3) do you work and this would be late to work?
4) what age is your DC?

1) I know this isn't the "right" answer, but I usually do. But then I also do the same for DH (who works close to home) when he's forgotten something.
2) Yes.
3) I do work, so this only applies to the two days a week I work from home. Otherwise I'm out of the house well before the kids so they're out of luck those days.
4) 15 and 12 (my answers primarily apply to the 15 yo. The 12 yo is uber-responsible)

[Anonymous]

Sure.

I have a middle schooler with ADHD. We taught him a routine to check he has all his work before he leaves the house, otherwise this would be a daily occurrence! Occasionally something slips through, but unless it's of critical importance he knows better than to call me... he knows I'd get mad.

[Anonymous]

1) No. And we live across the street from school.
2) Yes, but still, kids forget things, and they do have a lot on their plates.
3) See #1.
4) 12 and 15.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Looking at some insight as we have mixed feelings

1) if DC forgets homework one day and realizes on way to school, would you go back and get it for them?
2) are they generally good student and responsible?
3) do you work and this would be late to work?
4) what age is your DC?

1) absolutely
2) yes, but with support. I usually check the backpack and help pack it.
3) no, but I would do it if I did work and if it was not a daily thing as we all forget things every once in a while (I have brought my husband's work badges and other stuff to him)
4) 10

[Anonymous]

1) Not normally. Only on rare occasions where it's a really important project AND I can do it without being late for anything critical at work.

2) So-so. Good student, yes, organized, no. That's why we make him double-check his backpack and all assignments before going to bed - counting on him remembering everything in the morning is a recipe for disaster.

3) Yes, I work. My schedule is somewhat flexible. I usually plan to be in the office 30-45 minutes before anything important is scheduled - that's usually my time to catch up on email and put some time in on long-term solo projects - so I generally have a little wiggle room before anyone would notice I'm not there.

4) 12

[Anonymous]

Absolutely I would go back, without complaint, but he would owe me the time back that evening, and there would be a check in regarding tomorrow’s work before bed.

My kid struggled with executive function and felt bad enough without anything punitive on my part. He was a good student but the zeros stood in his way.

I am fortunate. I am senior at my job and don’t interact with other people all that much. No one would care if I were late. I’d make up the time, of course.

[Anonymous]

1) if DC forgets homework one day and realizes on way to school, would you go back and get it for them? YES
2) are they generally good student and responsible? YES
3) do you work and this would be late to work? I have flexibility so probably not big deal
4) what age is your DC? 15.5, end of freshman year

[Anonymous]

I will bring it once (per year). After that it's on them;

Yes;

Yes I would be late but it wouldn't matter ( I don't punch a clock, and no one is watching over my shoulder - I get my job done)

8th grade and junior in HS

[Anonymous]

1) if DC forgets homework one day and realizes on way to school, would you go back and get it for them?
Nope.

2) are they generally good student and responsible?
Yes.

3) do you work and this would be late to work?
Yes, but even if it didn't make me late I wouldn't do it.

4) what age is your DC?
11 (MS)

I haven't been in the situation where DS forgot a group project as some PPs described. In that case I think I would drop it off as otherwise it would be unfair to the other kids. But for regular homework even if it counts towards the grade? No way. Better he learns to be responsible earlier rather than later. DS's teacher in 5th used to penalize heavily for missed homework. Many of the other parents would set up special reminders and when their child inevitably forgot anyway they would run the homework to the school. DS ended up getting docked for missing homework a few times but after that he almost never forgot again.

[Anonymous]

^^ I have a younger kid with ADHD and anxiety who goes to a public school where they don't really have homework. I think that one he hits MS and forgets I might give him some passes where I'll bring homework 1-2 times a year. I do think that for kids with ADHD it take so much effort to do the homework in the first place that it can be really emotionally hard for them when they forget to bring it in. Of course I can't guarantee he'll actually turn it in!