Lay off my childcare

[Anonymous]

I am absolutely furious about a current situation in my neighborhood. Three months ago, after extensive, heavy research, sourcing & interviewing, I met a wonderful, loving young women to be a part-time caretaker/ glorified babysitter for my two young sons. She has bonded incredibly well, they love her, we love her and schedule wise everything has been great.

We treat her as well as we possibly can (because this level help is extremely difficult to find), compensate her very well & she has told me she loves working for us. She is also very loyal to me and has told me about my neighbor down the street. This women on more than one occasion has come down to our house when Nanny is with the children and try to coax my nanny into part-time babysitting for her kids on weekend nights. I have told our Nanny that if she ever wants a weekend night gig- she has one with me no problem. She really does not- her weekends are her time off (we have discussed this at length- we compensate her extremely well and she is not financially hard up and she likes her weekends for time to herself to have a life) and I have 1-2 other sitters I use for weekend nights.

I'm furious at my troll of a neighbor for putting pressure on this young women (completely inappropriate) and piggybacking off of MY hard work. Do you think an energetic, fantastic with children, educated, well traveled, bilingual junior Mary Poppins appears out of the blue?? It took me MONTHS to find her.
This isn't the first time it has happened. I had my cousin's daughter who is an ex athlete babysit last year and she of course saw her outside playing soccer with my boys and then immediately tried to solicit her. She never goes directly to ME, if she did I WOULD happily pass along 1-2 weekend sitters that I would recommend to anyone. it is always this sneaky behavior that makes my Nanny/caregiver uncomfortable and me want to march down the street and give her a serious piece of my mind.

What's the best protocol for this?
Thoughts on how to handle?

[Anonymous]

There's nothing for you to do. Nanny just needs to tell the family that she's busy.

There's nothing wrong with the other family asking. Plenty of people find their babysitters from their daycare staff or other people's nannies.

[Anonymous]

Wait - so your neighbor is asking your babysitter to sit for her kids at times when she is not scheduled to sit for you? And you are incensed about this, because you intensively researched your sitter?

I am having a hard time figuring out why this is any business of yours at all, much less why you are angry about it.

Don't go give your neighbor a piece of your mind; it doesn't sound like you can spare it.

[Anonymous]

There's nothing to do. It's a free market and many people will offer her jobs or offer her a similar job to your but for more money. She can tell them no if it doesn't work for her.

Your best defense is to compensate her well and be a great employer so she doesn't leave.

It also sounds like this is not a problem for her, but for you. Best to be the world's best employer so she never leave you. And to check yourself - you don't own her.

[Anonymous]

Your sitter might like the opportunity to have the variety and freedom to sit for other people on her time off but fears for her regular gig due to your controlling nature.

[Anonymous]

This is a ridiculous thing to be angry about.

One of our sitters is my friend's nanny. We just text her to see if she is available. If she isn't, we move on to our next one. It's a nice way to make extra money and we have never asked her for a time that she is working. I don't see what the big deal is.

It's not personal. Get over it.

[Anonymous]

People try to poach my nanny all the time.

It just makes me think I better pay her well and treat her well.

I don’t own her, she’s not a servant. She will surely leave if she’s unhappy or if someone offers enough money.

I have no control over people trying to poach her and it doesn’t make me angry (or even surprise me.....).

[Anonymous]

You don’t own her. Move on.

[Anonymous]

I think it is fine for the neighbor to ask, but she needs to take no for an answer. But this is between the nanny and the neighbor. OP it's not some magical achievement to find a good sitter, so stop acting like you have some proprietary interest just because you did some research.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait - so your neighbor is asking your babysitter to sit for her kids at times when she is not scheduled to sit for you? And you are incensed about this, because you intensively researched your sitter?

I am having a hard time figuring out why this is any business of yours at all, much less why you are angry about it.

Don't go give your neighbor a piece of your mind; it doesn't sound like you can spare it.

[Anonymous]

Should other employers be barred by your employer from approaching you about new opportunities?

[Anonymous]

I’m having a hard time seeing the problem. Your babysitter can certainly take other jobs when she isn’t working for you. That’s just life.

[Anonymous]

I suspect you are not employed, OP....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t own her. Move on.

Exactly. The best defense is to pay her well and not be a crazy boss. Sounds like you've got the first part down, unclear about the second part. Let nanny make her own decisions about doing weekend care for your neighbor.

[Anonymous]

What about walking to your neighbor and mentioning you noticed that she must be in need of childcare as she has twice now sought help from your childcare providers, so you thought you’d be helpful by sharing the resources/process you use to find childcare. Wish her luck and tell her that if she spends a bit of time using those resources, you’re sure she’ll find someone that fits her family’s needs. (Hint: here’s where to look for childcare - not in my yard.)