If you have good marriage do you feel bad for other people?

[Anonymous]

It really saddens me to see so many friends and family struggling in marriage. Since my marriage is doing way better then average, they tend to confide in me a lot. I try to help as much as I can but sometimes it is tough to hear all that hardships and the pain and the tears. I feel so bad for them. Not everyone can afford marriage counseling and not everyone wants to so I end up being one for many although I do not ask for it nor advertise. It is just because I listen and try to minimize the conflict by minimal advice if asked. It still feels like too much sometimes. I can not imagine how the actual marriage counselors can manage with so much painful information.

If your marriage is good do you end up your go-to person for your friends? I feel like people have a radar and once they sense that you are happy and have good marriage they think you are some sort of an expert. They do not realize that every marriage is different and nobody as all the answers. Right?

[Anonymous]

I don't really think about other people's marriages much.

[Anonymous]

I do not.

My marriage is very good while several friends have many more problems in their marriage.

However I have other life problems that are even worse than a bad marriage.

It evens out.

[Anonymous]

I have a great marriage but I avoid talking about it with others. If others complain to me about their marriages I just stay in a listening mode. I do feel bad for other people but I won’t make it worse for them by saying how lucky I am.

[Anonymous]

I have a great marriage, but I really don’t put much thought into other marriages. No one is confiding in me (good or bad) about their relationship.

My brother was on the verge of divorce a few years ago. I don’t feel sorry for him or his batshit crazy wife. They both chose each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a great marriage but I avoid talking about it with others. If others complain to me about their marriages I just stay in a listening mode. I do feel bad for other people but I won’t make it worse for them by saying how lucky I am.

OP, here, no I don't advertise how my marriage is, I don't brag nor comment on it ever. This is something people assume from what they see and they like what they see and it is what it is. It is not bad but it is far from advertising anything. Why anyone would brag or tell them anything like that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a great marriage, but I really don’t put much thought into other marriages. No one is confiding in me (good or bad) about their relationship.

My brother was on the verge of divorce a few years ago. I don’t feel sorry for him or his batshit crazy wife. They both chose each other.

Kids, it is always about the kids more then anything because if people jump to their throats that it is for the best if they split but if they can carry for few years in relative peace for the sake of kids it is better because raising small kids by one person with tinny help is tough. If you ever saw how hard it is on people who are doing it. It is hard on kids, hard on moms usually, dads are free as a butterfly and although they later loose on kids milestones and usually have poor relationships with them, it is really hard on everyone. It is not a good thing to go in-between people and nobody tries to do that but some women are so helpless and under so much stress, and daily crap that they struggle beyond belief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not.

My marriage is very good while several friends have many more problems in their marriage.

However I have other life problems that are even worse than a bad marriage.

It evens out.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not.

My marriage is very good while several friends have many more problems in their marriage.

However I have other life problems that are even worse than a bad marriage.

It evens out.

+1 glad I have the good marriage but I def have other problems!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't really think about other people's marriages much.

+1. A side effect of being happy is not worrying about what other people are doing.

[Anonymous]

Yes I do. I try to at least listen to them.

My marriage used to be really rocky at one point ( same DH) but it has been really good now for the past few years. I have a couple of very close friends ( one is in other country and one in another state) that I discussed my marriage with and vice versa.

Somehow I have other peoples at work such as coworker, colleagues came to me for their marriage/ relationship problems.( I am a female physician ) . Basically they just started crying in front of me. I felt bad for them . One time I let one of the nurse who is going through a divorce, use my office to cry when she wanted to. Other times I helped my senior resident move her when she broke up with her boyfriend and had to moved out. ( I was pregnant at the time ) . I never share any of my marriage with these peoples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't really think about other people's marriages much.

+ 1

My default assumption is that everyone is basically as happy as I am then I am surprised when that turns out not to be true.

Lots of man babies out there.

[Anonymous]

Yes, my friends come to me. Honestly, it's been that way since I was a teenager, friends come to me for advice about everything. I'm nice, but honest and they know they can get genuine advice. I also know how to draw the line and say "this is too much/serious for me and you need some extra help". The ironic thing is I have an extremely difficult time opening up to people and other than dh, there is only one other friend in comfortable opening up to

[Anonymous]

What an insufferable jerk you are!
Your ‘great marriage’ has got to be fake because you are a sucky person.

[Anonymous]

No. I don't think about it. I don't think my marriage is "superior" to people who are divorced or have problems in their marriage. You never know what the future brings, karma is a biatch.