What do childless couples in their 50's do?
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Anonymous
| I'm getting ready to be an empty nester and quite honestly, feel like I'm coming completely undone. For the last 20 years, being a parent has been such a huge part of my identity and even though I work, I still feel like my life is centered around my life as a mom. I am having such a difficult time imagining what life will be like in the fall once it's just DH and I. But then I think about how many people there are in their early 50's who never had kids at all, and I feel like I should look at them as a model for what my life should be like, thing is I'm not really close to anyone in their 50's without kids. So if there is anyone out there who is childless and in their 50's can you give me an idea of what life is like for you? And I'm more interested in the day in and day out, not just things like traveling. |
Anonymous
|
If your kid is going off to college in the fall, believe me, you will still be on parent duty. You will see them at breaks, you will help them to figure out the logistics of getting to/from school, you'll most likely help them move into the dorm, you'll attend Parent Day...etc
It's not like your kid goes away to college and you stop being a parent. Even after they are working and raising their own kids, you'll be involved to some degree as grandparents. As for what you do when you no longer have to supervise your kid in the evenings.....go out and have fun. Seriously. Go to concerts, go out bar hopping, go out to dinner, take weekend trip to the beach. What did you and your husband do together before kids? |
Anonymous
| The childless people in their 50s that I know spend more time out in their community - not only out to dinner and at concerts but also in local politics or volunteer work. They also read more than the average parent I know with kids at home. |
Anonymous
|
Several friends had become empty nesters 2 years back. And they haven't looked back either. From what I have heard, the first month is quite hard, after that you find your new norm. You would have your own friends' get togethers, events out, travel etc and when kids come home from college they will complain that you have too many things preplanned for the weekend which didn't include them.
And you will also be relieved when they go back after the visit because you have adjusted to your new normal. |
Anonymous
| I guess I need some ideas about hobbies. Since I work full time, I'm not too concerned about the week, but my big concern is what do on weekends other than simply going out to eat and seeing a movie. I'm so used to weekends being centered around the kid's activities and preparing for the upcoming week. |
Anonymous
| Some start nannying. |
Anonymous
Hell no to that one. |
Anonymous
| Whatever the f#ck they want. |
Anonymous
Gardening, dance classes, stay in bed late, join some bingo groups.. |
Anonymous
| Travel, cook elaborate meals, garden, dance etc. |
Anonymous
| Lift weights, learn yoga, read books, long walks & runs, hikes, go wine tasting, have lots of sex, travel, travel, travel. . . |
Anonymous
Oh wait, you may not be able to afford the same level of travel if your kids are in college. And these days kids move back home after college. |
Anonymous
What did you and your dh do before kids? I'm your age and, while I really am going to miss my kids when they are both gone, I am also equally sure that I'll keep myself busy. You'll get home from work and you'll have the option of going out to dinner or cooking a healthy dinner at home. You can read and watch any t.v. show that you want to. If you feel like going out on the town you can do that. You will miss your kids but you will also be reunited with your long lost freedom. Kids, even really great older kids, are still work. And they will still be coming home for breaks and asking for your guidance on things. It's not like you'll ever be a childless couple again - that ship has sailed. You will be a couple with grown children. |
Anonymous
They will be young adults capable of dog and house sitting for us. Sounds good to me 
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Anonymous
What do you care about? What interests you? Volunteer! If you like art, volunteer at a gallery. Interested in the outdoors? The county and city governments and local chapters of environmental groups have lots of clean-up days and other volunteering to do. If you were really involved at your DC's activities, consider volunteering for those as an adult without a kid--it frees you do do things that parents with kids there may not have time to do (example: my DD has been in Girl Scouts for ages and I'm a leader; when she goes to college next year I hope to get some extra training so I can be on call to run things like challenge courses for troops, etc.). And my DH and I both love theater so we might start volunteering at a local theater as ushers etc. DH already is involved in an academic extracurricular our DD gave up several years ago so he and I both will stay involved with that organization and the kids who participate. I feel what you're feeling, OP-I've been very involved with my DD's activities and have done a lot of volunteering at them and have been thinking I'll be bereft once she says goodbye to those activities. But I also can get more involved with other things with newly-freed-up Saturdays and weeknights. |